Remakes Are Hell p.2

News Broke Out like a bad case of scabies that the Hellraiser remake is going to go PEE GEE THUR-TEEEN for the reason of “why the fuck not?”

It makes sense, since the film industry is still kind of confused as to what to do with itself. Jackass 3D makes 50 million in a weekend and gets positive reviews while the geek-pandering ‘Scott Pilgrim’ bombs. Maybe the idea has gotten across that horror movies might not be the golden goose of ‘shell out three million. make ten. profit.’ anymore? I don’t know. Someone with greater ideas about this might write in the comments.

Truth is, this makes sense to me from a financial standpoint. Hellraiser doesn’t really have the cultural connection that ‘Friday the 13th’ or ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’ had. Jason and Freddy are your stalwarts, the Superman and Batman of your horror genre. Pinhead falls on the lower echelon. It’s harder to dress up like him and he’s kind of a dick, really. Black leather and meat-hooks. Not a lot of personality, where as Jason and Freddy are a few household items and BOOM! Start running.

Appeal to a greater audience with disposable income and your big budget remake of a nearly 25-year old slasher will make back your budget. Sure, the 2010 ‘Nightmare’ made three times it budget for a R-rated figure, but people KNOW Freddy. Who the fuck is this Pinhead guy?

Amber Head, actress rumored to be for the ‘lead,’ was born the same year that Hellraiser came out. Keep that in mind. Remakes are hell, folks.

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