It Came from Amazon IV

Oh no, the design on these balloons have nothing to do with the Scream franchise. Any similarities are purely coincidental. Yeah, that’s the ticket…

It’s official: Vincent Price hates furries.

There was actually a novelization of Liquid Sky. Words fail me.

This makes complete sense. Because when I hear “Peter Benchley’s classic tale of underwater terror”, I immediately think “monster trucks.” Don’t you?

I’ll admit it: I was originally going to make fun of Eric S. Brown’s Bigfoot War series, which starts off with gory Bigfoot attacks and later adds zombies (including zombie Bigfoots) and people in high-tech battle armor to the mix. It would have been so easy. I’d just point out his The War of the Worlds zombie mashup and link to my “I’m Officially Sick of Zombies!” article and leave it at that. But you know what? I read all of the preview pages and I was genuinely entertained by (and enjoyed) what I saw. It’s like eating a giant plate of mozzarella sticks; you know you shouldn’t do it, but all the cheesy goodness is just too good to resist.

But just when I’m actually enjoying zombie stuff again and assuming the zombie craze is over, along comes The Christian Zombie Killers Handbook. Get this: It’s not even a “real” zombie survival guide; it’s just a Christian self-help book that uses zombies as a metaphor! *sigh*

Speaking of zombie survival, I actually like this “Zombie Attack Survival Kit in a Bottle.” Although some of the items seem a bit off (Seriously, earplugs?), I appreciate its combination of actual survival gear and zombie-related stuff. Contrast that with the “Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit in a Sardine Can.” It’s got tons of great survival gear, but it lacks anything zombie-specific in it. In other words, it’s just a standard survival kit with a zombie sticker slapped on it to boost sales.

Since when is it okay for people to make homemade Lego versions of copyrighted characters and sell them on Amazon? Look at that price, you could easily make your own Lego Dalek for much less. Hell, you could buy multiple, better-looking “Character Options” Daleks (which appear to be compatible with Legos) for only a few dollars less than the custom Lego one! Speaking of Legos, Dino-Man wants to remind you that he is totally not supposed to be Godzilla.

I found this surf compilation album while researching material for a future episode of the podcast and…HOLY CRAP, IS THAT FLO FROM THE PROGRESSIVE ADS? The fact that she shows up on another album cover only heightens my confusion.

And the award for “Weirdest Movie Tagline” goes to…

The concept of a “Presidential Monsters” toyline confuses me. I get that “Wolf Bill” is a play on Clinton’s libido (although he doesn’t look enough like a werewolf) and “Baracula” rhymes both with Dracula and Blacula, but what does Lincoln have anything to do with Frankenstein’s monster?

I don’t care if Donkey Kong is only slightly horror-related, this DK-themed Jenga game rules.

Are you still kicking yourself for not buying Anchor Bay’s special edition VHS of Halloween just to get your hands on the cool snow globe? Then do I have some good news for you!

For those who often watch old 3D movies, there are so many better options for eyewear besides the standard cardboard and cellophane glasses. Speaking of glasses, I don’t know whether to think these coffin-shaped glasses are really cool or really goofy.

Apparently the best way to market a Halloween CD to children is to use the likeness of a long-dead radio personality they’re most likely have never heard of. On the plus side, at least they didn’t use a picture of Wolfman Jack from his early days.

Wearing a tongue stud designed to resemble a plant that uses its mouth to lure in prey so it can devour them might not be the best way to entice people into making out with you.

I don’t know what’s more baffling about this Freddy Kreuger-inspired wall cling: the fact that it exists, the price or the very idea that someone would find a woman dressed as Freddy Kreuger sexy.

Oh, and speaking of the bizarre things that some people find to be sexy…

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