Tuesday uEtsy: Handmade Horrors

[Etsy.com’s tagline is “Buy, Sell, and Live Handmade.” Coincidentally, there’s a lot of spooky on Etsy, and each Tuesday, we highlight one of the sellers. If you’re looking to spruce up your look, redecorate your tomb or get a gift for that special something in your afterlife, Etsy.com is a place for spooky econo.]

Handmade Horrors (HandmadeHorrors.etsy.com)

Sometimes, you’re going to make a mistake. And that’s fine. The odds are that you, reading this, are likely human. Or human-esque; a good portion to count, is what we’re getting at. And with that, you’re bound to screw up.

Which is not really the kind of thing we want to lead into when discussing Handmade Horrors. Handmade Horrors gets it right, which is, by the book, the opposite of making a mistake. In fact, if you look at the work at their shop, you would petition Merriam-Webster to list ‘Handmade Horrors’ as an official antonym of ‘mistake.’ Someone flashes that Murky Skull Faceted Gem Necklace and you’ll say “that person is getting it–whatever he or she does–right.”

But we here at the local fall under the human side of things, or close enough. So we’re prone to the mortal folly of making mistakes. One of which, we were clued into late last week when Doc Killian came by, he corrected at a terrible, how you say, faux-pas, that we’ve done for a while.

Seems ‘Freakshow’ isn’t so much an adjective of sorts for our man Bernie, but the gentlemen’s last name. From suffix to prefix. Yep. Doc showed us the birth certificate and all.

What does this has to do with the Count Rockula Necklace you’re going to buy from Handmade Horrors so you can show up at the next psychobilly show to woo that creeper man or roller girl of your black velvet dreams? We suspect that Bernie Freakshow did the same to win the still-bloody heart of his lovely wife, Loretta–the one she was still gnawing on when he came over to ask for a dance.

You might catch the eye if you were wearing these Greaser Skull Earrings. I don’t know what Loretta had on the night she became Mrs. Freakshow. It probably was still wriggling but what can we say? It was a wedding. You don’t need to be as bold as Loretta but wearing these earrings will say you cater to a boldness that is rocking in its own way.

Granted, not everyone could find wedded bliss the same way that Bernie and Loretta did. Some people don’t like psychobilly and prefer punk rock. Look at this pin from Handmade Horrors. Totally rad, right? Bust heads, break hearts, looks fantastic.

Which brings us back to the idea of the beginning. Sometimes, we break things and we have to apologize, or, to a point, extend said apology in a physical exchange. A ‘gift exchange,’ if you will. Won’t say it’s Christmas in July because well, it isn’t. Or at least it won’t be in about four days but that doesn’t make these Ribbon Bracelets any less attractive (that might make them MORE attractive. Will wonders ever cease?)

What we’ve been trying to get to is that Poinsettia Freakshow is not that bad of a girl. And we may have hurt her feelings last week so we have to get her a gift. Mainly because Freakshow Bernie (sorry, old habit, and everyone just calls him ‘Freakshow’) is one of the better independent contractors in the six-county district and we don’t want him to sour on us. And, mainly, because Poinsettia is a nice girl. She does brighten up the Front Office when she’s around, whether we like it or not. We haven’t picked out a gift yet but we think Handmade Horrors has a good idea.

Don’t tell anyone. We have a reputation to uphold.

Handmade Horrors would like to note that Greaser Skull, Count Rockula and Punk Skulls designs are by: http://www.facebook.com/zmbgraphix. See what else Handmade Horrors has to offer you. They’re also on Facebook, Livejournal and they even have an official page you can check out as well. Buy something, look snazzy and come back next week for another Tuesday uEtsy.

[ed. Like the article states, we are prone to mistakes. We accidentally listed this week’s uEtsy as ‘Homemade’ instead of ‘Handmade’ Horrors. We have since corrected it.] 

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