Sep 06 2011

Monstermatt Patterson’s BAD MONSTER JOKES VOL.1

Having contributed to GdL16 in the past, we were pleasantly surprised to get word that Monstermatt Patterson’s first book, “Monstermatt’s Bad Monster Jokes Vol.1”, found a new publisher and will be released by Pill Hill Press on Septermber 21st.

Over 400 bad monster jokes, BAD MONSTER JOKES VOL.1 will be released with additional content than the first run. It’ll be a great addition to your 2011 Halloween preparation, in case you want to add a bad joke “trick” to your Halloween “treats.”  From the press release:

Monstermatt has written over one thousand bad monster jokes,and this first volume gives you a sizable introduction to the humor that resides within.The marriage of the jokes to Kyle Kaczmarczyk’s insightful illustrations,are what has fans waiting for more!

According to duo,the book is  acting as an introduction to the horror genre for newcomers, while entertaining those already familiar with it. Jokes and illustrations about Frankenstein and Dracula, to jokes about “The Manitou” and “Basket Case”, even “The Human Centipede”, are turning many a newcomer into a horror buff.

Word has it, for better or worse, that Volumes 2 and 3 of Monstermatt’s over 1,000 bad joke repertoire are being written. So you might as well buy as many copies of Vol.1 as you can to get your immune system up. Soon, Monstermatt’s jokes will be all over the world and you don’t want to be caught with your guard down.

The book will be available at major online book retailers. For more information,and updates, or to keep up with Kyle, Monstermatt and Pill Hill Press, follow them on Twitter at:
www.Twitter.com/zombieinkcomics
www.Twitter.com/1monstermatt
www.Twitter.com/pillhillpress

Sep 03 2011

Show and Hell

It’s no secret that we’re huge fans of PuppeTose Theater. But with all the focus on puppets, it’s all too easy to forget that the mastermind behind it all, Ross Wilsey, also dabbles in animation. So in honor of back to school season, here’s my favorite animated work of his, straight from the official PuppeTose Youtube channel:

As is the case with all PuppeTose productions, this is NSFW. Hardcore PuppeTose fans will undoubtedly notice how the demon resembles one of the hallucinations from the “A Question of Clean” segment from Random Stories Grab-Bag and how the father looks uncannily like Druid Hemlock from the third episode of PuppeTose Street. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I thought it was pretty cool to see those characters again in some form and it also shows that PuppeTose has a “conceptual continuity” similar to Frank Zappa’s discography.

Sep 02 2011

6′+ Episode 12 is Up!

To quote the description given at the new listing:

“The parent website of 6′+, Gravedigger’s Local 16, turns 3 years old in September 2011. With gratitude and humility, we give thanks for another year online and above ground. A lot has changed to GdL16 in the past twelve months, but the same appreciation for all things creepy, weird and bizarre remains the same.

We celebrate here on 6′+ with a bevy of songs, some odds and ends (and some really odds, at that) that reflect the GdL16 site. Can’t put three years in one podcast, so either the party will spill over into another episode or who knows? Maybe we’ll celebrate the birthday next month* (*we won’t.) You’ll find music from some of the favorites here on 6′+ – Daikaiju, The Ghastly Ones, Witches In Bikinis, The Crimson Ghosts, The Pine Box Boys, and more!”

There’s also a very important message regarding Danny “Daddy-O” Amis of Los Straitjackets. Please click on the above link to learn more.

You can find all episodes of 6’+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes. We’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

Aug 31 2011

Appointment With Fear

I'm afraid you can't reschedule this...

Fans of old time horror radio all know that Suspense is considered as one of “top dogs” of horror radio dramas. What they might not know is how the show has a British counterpart. When I say “counterpart,” I’m not referring to a show with similar stories and popularity; I’m referring to an official adaptation! Debuting a little over a year after its American equivalent premiered, Appointment With Fear made a strong start with its adaptations of John Dickson Carr’s Suspense scripts (later branching out into original material) and its choice of Valentine Dyall (Best known to Americans as the Black Guardian from Doctor Who) as the show’s host “The Man in Black.” The series was a huge hit and spawned several motion pictures and even a spin-off radio series!

As was the case with their release of The Price of Fear, AudioGo has released a double CD set of four episodes from the show’s run: “The Pit and the Pendulum,” “The Speaking Clock,” “The Clock Strikes Eight” and “And The Deep Shuddered.”

Disc 1 starts off with John Dickson Carr’s adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s classic story “The Pit and the Pendulum.” While remaining quite faithful to the original tale, Carr expands upon and adds certain details to the story. While the original simply started us off with the prisoner suffering from his torture, the radio version has him on trial by the Spanish Inquisition for blowing up a church where the Spanish army was storing gunpowder and then moves on to the events depicted in Poe’s tale. He also cleverly added in hallucinations of the prisoner’s wife in order to prevent the script from turning into the main character simply narrating all of the events. Sound is especially well used here. The chanting of the Inquisition in the background, along with the echoes in everyone’s voices, nicely convey the dungeon setting. The sound of the swinging pendulum, coupled with the frantic tone of the hallucination of the wife add a great deal of suspense as well.

Another narrator introduces Carr’s “The Speaking Clock” (a remake of an episode of Suspense called “Mr. Markham, Antique Dealer”), although the Man in Black does narrate the opening of the tale itself. In it, we meet an antique dealer named Charles Markham, who runs a very profitable side business…blackmail. When a woman who comes into his store seeking a last minute present turns out to be a victim of his who wants to get rid of him, things get interesting. And when another party enters the picture and a murder occurs, things get even more interesting, especially when the murder victim claims that he will return within a half hour…and does. Between all the twists and turns of the plot and the hilariously nasty villain, this is one heck of ride.

Disc 2 starts of with another Carr script “The Clock Strikes Eight.” Although the Man in Black is back as the narrator, he turns over the bulk of the storytelling duties to his guest, Dr. Fell. The good doctor tells us the tale of the Barton Case, which involves the pending execution of one Helen Barton for the murder of her fiancee. The problem is that she claims to be suffering from amnesia, but nobody believes her. When her memory apparently returns a few hours before her scheduled death and she claims innocence, things get complicated. Even moreso when her fiancee’s brother is seen prowling outside the prison. As was the case with the other time-related episode, there are plenty of twists and turns here.

The final story is “And The Deep Shuddered” by Irish actor/playwright Monckton Hoffe, which opens with an asylum director points out a specific patient to a visitor. She’s a woman who survived the shipwreck that killed her husband thirty years ago and is convinced she’s still on the boat. She never tells anyone what happened and laughs in an odd manner whenever she hears a recording of a song she heard on the voyage. When things transition to her memory of the fateful voyage, we finally get to see what made her go insane. In my opinion, this is the weakest story of the bunch. Its only horror connection is the protagonist’s going insane and the listener has to endure much soap opera-style shenanigans before the “big reveal.”

That said, this is an excellent release. The liner notes provide an in-depth look at the history of the series, including pictures of vintage magazine ads for episodes of the series. Sadly, this will most likely be the only release of episodes from Appointment With Fear. This is because these are the only four episodes that survived the BBC’s infamous practice of “wiping” shows (both radio and television) in order to save money on storage (among other issues). This is also the reason why sometimes audio issues, such as static and hissing, pop up in the episodes presented on the disc. In case you were wondering, “The Pit and the Pendulum” is from 1943, “The Speaking Clock” was the 1944 third season opener while “The Clock Strikes Eight” was the closer for that season, while “And The Deep Shuddered” was from the sixth season in 1945.

Given the successes in recovering several lost episodes of Doctor Who (along with episode reconstructions using fan-recorded audio), I remain hopeful that further episodes will be recovered someday. Although I don’t know for sure if Appointment With Fear ever received airplay out of the UK, I can easily imagine transcontinental pen pals swapping “taped off the air” recordings of it or authors who had their works adapted on the show having copies of shows stashed away among their personal possessions. As the program does not seem to be included in the BBC Archive Treasure Hunt, I’m officially putting out the Bat Signal for all of our readers. If you have any episodes of Appointment With Fear that were not mentioned in this review, please contact the BBC, AudioGo or Gravedigger’s Local 16 as quickly as possible.

Special thanks to AudioGo LTD for the review copy!

Aug 31 2011

Freaky Tiki Surf-ari: King Kong vs. Godzilla Soundtrack

Akira Ikufube
Official Site (Label)
King Kong vs. Godzilla Soundtrack, La-La Land Records 2006 (Original release date: 1962)

Yeah, like we'd be dumb enough to try using a picture of Godzilla without Toho's expressed written consent.

I know this seems like a bizarre way to close out this year’s Freaky Tiki Surf-ari. Truth be told, even I thought the idea that the King Kong vs. Godzilla soundtrack had anything to do with exotica music seemed odd at first. But as strange as it seemed, seeing the phrase “It’s Cocktail Hour at the Godzilla Tiki Bar” at the Amazon listing for the CD definitely caught my interest. Being a big Godzilla fan, I ordered the CD in order to experience it for myself.

I think part of the reason people might find the idea so surprising is due to their only being exposed to the American version of the film. What was originally a humorous commentary on commercialism in Japan was reedited into a serious science fiction movie. One of the casualties was the vast majority of the film’s score, which was replaced with stock music from a variety of Universal films. According to this, these films include Creature from the Black Lagoon, Bend of the River, Untamed Frontier, The Golden Horde, Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman, Man Made Monster and The Monster That Challenged the World. It wasn’t until La-La Land Records issued this CD in 2006 that the original soundtrack had an official release in America. Rather than discuss things like how the film originally started development as “King Kong vs. Frankenstein” or the how Godzilla really doesn’t win in the Japanese version, I’d rather discuss the composer for awhile before reviewing the album itself. Oh, and since this is a soundtrack review, please be warned that the names of the tracks may contain spoilers for the events depicted in the film.

Back when the classic Godzilla films were first hitting American screens, Akira Ifukube was one of the few (if not the only one) people involved in the making of Godzilla movies whose name could be found in American reference books. Ifukube’s love of music began in his youth and he even practiced composing in his spare time after his university studies. He obtained his first taste of international recognition in 1935 for his winning of the Tcherepnin Prize with his composition “Japanese Rhapsody.” His first film score came in 1947, when he composed the score for the movie The End of the Silver Mountains. Many more film scores would follow, including numerous daikaiju films for Toho. In fact, Ifukube was responsible for creating Godzilla’s famous roar and footstep sound effects! Although he is sadly no longer with us (he passed away in 2006 from multiple organ dysfunction syndrome), his music and legacy live on.

Powerful music and native chanting make up the “Main Title” while “Series of World Wonders” is an extremely brief vibraphone-style opening theme. Those who have seen the American version of the film might remember a shot of a less than realistic model of the planet Earth floating in space. In the original Japanese version, this was part of a gag involving the opening of the above-mentioned fictional television series. However, the footage revealing the joke was removed from the US cut of the film and led to many reviewers citing the scene as an example of “cheesy special effects.” In the first of many combo tracks, “The Sparkling Iceberg/Pashin Commercial” starts off very soft (with a touch of creepiness) and builds up, while cymbals and percussion lead to the commercial tune. The Lymanesque “Fujita & Fumiko” is a fantastic jazzy piano tune with soft saxophone work and what seems to be a touch of vibe work. “The Seahawk in Crisis/Great News Gathering Team Departure” starts with a buildup of suspenseful music with touches of the classic Godzilla theme while bass drums give a sense of power. This contrasts with the next song’s cheerful tuba march music. “The Seahawk’s S.O.S.” is appropriately dark and mournful, with eerie touches that would fit in well inside The Twilight Zone. In the quick “Faro Island,” drums and soft wind instruments convey a tropical feel. In the similarly quick “The Natives” features a soft, slow build up on the gong and chorus of native voices. “Southern Island Tale” is a jaunty, jazzy tune with pianos and playful female Japanese vocals.

“Thunder and the Devil/Fumiko’s Misgivings” opens with pounding and chanting that is similar to (but distinctly different from) the opening track. However, things slow down and soft drums take over for the Fumiko part. “Godzilla’s Resurrection” is pure power and terror in audio form. In other words, it’s the Godzilla theme that all G-fans know and love. “The Cry of the Devil/A Prayer to the Rolling Thunder” opens with soft (but stern) drums and the occasional use of horns. Both parts blend very well into each other. In “The Devil of the South Seas/Drums of Battle/Giant Octopus vs. King Kong,” things pick up in terms of both volume and feel, as terror and unease enter the picture. Native drums quickly build up and vanish as we enter next portion. It may surprise some to learn that the octopus was realized through a combination of puppetry, stop motion animation and use of live octopuses on miniature sets. In fact, one of them wound up as special effects director Eiji Tsuburaya’s dinner! In “The Sleeping Devil,” soft drums and familiar chanting are used to lull the giant ape to sleep. In “The Terror of Godzilla,” the classic Godzilla theme returns and in “The Invincible King Kong/Preparation for Operation ‘Burial,'” more unease and a sense of regality are heard. “King Kong vs. Godzilla I” has a soft opening buildup which quickly builds in both power and intensity. There are also echoes of the native chanting in terms of overall feel and not actual usage of said chanting. It’s hard to explain, but you’ll know what I mean when you hear it. “Preparations for Operation ‘One Million Volts'” is serious and militaristic while “Operation ‘Burial'” is suspenseful and owes much to the Godzilla theme, as does “Operation “Burial” Fails” and “Operation “One Million Volts” I.” In sharp contrast, “Operation “One Million Volts” II” features soft drums and more of the unease/King Kong feel. “Kong Shows Up in Tokyo” builds upon the themes set by last track and also incorporates vibe-like touches. While “The Plan to Rescue Fumiko I” features drums and soft native chanting, “The Plan to Rescue Fumiko II” use of chanting and drums is more energetic and even a touch militaristic. The busy “The Plan to Transport King Kong” coveys a military-style sense of purpose and action thanks to its use of drums and horns. The creepy opening drums of “King Kong Advances on Fuji” creates the sense of a gigantic monster approaching. “The Confrontation at Fuji” offers a fusion of styles: native chanting playing under a military march/Godzilla theme variation. Similarly, “King Kong’s Resurrection” combines Toho’s King Kong theme and native drums. “King Kong vs. Godzilla II” is frantic and fast-paced battle theme while “Ending” has a soft opening that builds up to big farewell. In the first of two bonus tracks, “Main Title (mono)” provides exactly what the name implies. “Main Title (a cappella)” is a drum-free version of opening. I should stress that this is an all new version of the opening theme and is not just the opening with instruments stripped out. It’s fascinating to hear only native chanting without any backing instruments, along with the new touches which seem to have been thrown in.

Although not of the all is exotica-related, there is enough of it to interest fans of the genre. If you’re looking for a present for the Tiki fan who has everything, this is the perfect choice. Japanese monster movie fans will appreciate the detailed liner notes by David Hirsch, which cover both the making of the film and provides details about each track on the album. Even if you are not an exotica fan, this is an amazing album that demonstrates how Akira Ikufube is a true master of his craft. Just be sure not to dawdle, because it’s now out of print and the price is rising fast!

Aug 31 2011

Dead on the Beat

Since I’m no longer under the legal drinking age limit, I don’t watch MTV anymore. Because of such, I had no idea that the network developed its own take on the “cops v. spooky” fad that’s hitting us soon. I knew about that ‘Teen Wolf’ remake but this ‘Death Valley’ show was under my radar.  io9.com has a clip of a funny moment of this mockumentary-style show.

Meredith Woerner (which, I might add, is a great last name. She might be a supervillian or a mad scientist with that name. Dr. Meredith Woerner’s creature. Has a nice ring to it? Anway.) wrote “…[w]hile we might tune in to see the scene from the trailers where one of the cops punches a zombie through the skull (because that’s excellent) we may just watch reruns of Reno 911 instead.”

But, from the clip in her write-up, it seems that his is more serious than Reno 911. MTV is trying to blend sex, action and comedy in a moderately-budgeted production.  It’s currently a “wait and see” situation but what I see ‘Death Valley’ facing some stiff (no pun intended) competition from the other cops v. corpses media coming. On top of the RiPD movie, there’s Zombie Hunters and ZEROs coming out. ‘Death Valley’ has the advantage of being on MTV (and having Viacom’s promotional juggernaut) but depends on what the audience wants (and what MTV wants.) 

I think they want to make a quick buck before the spooky bubble bursts. I, and plenty others, have waited for the bottom to fall out of the supernatural market. Still. More undead cop shows. It’s like it’s taking the two more overused genres and mashing them together.  Law and Order: SZU (Special Zombies Unit)

Good luck to everyone involved. It’ll make good Hulu/Netflix viewing in a few years.

 

 

Aug 30 2011

Freaky Tiki Surf-ari: The Crimson Ghosts

The Crimson Ghosts
Official Myspace
Earth EP, Necro-Tone Records 2009

I love how happy the creature on the bottom left is.

One cannot discuss the Crimson Ghosts without first discussing the Misfits. Formed by Glenn Danzig in 1977, the punk band has gone through many changes since its humble beginnings in Lodi, New Jersey. Although their name came from a Marilyn Monroe film, the band’s image quickly became linked to horror due to both an increased focus on horror-themed material and their adopting the villain The Crimson Ghost from the classic serial of the same name as their mascot. Despite numerous lineup changes and the band breaking up in the 80’s, the steady stream of “posthumous” releases and big name fans in the music world, kept their name out there and boosted their popularity to new heights. In fact, the band reformed (sans Danzig) in the late 90’s and are still touring to this day. Naturally, the band has prompted numerous song covers and tribute acts.

The Crimson Ghosts formed in 1999 with the idea “what would of happened if horror punk legends The Misfits were formed in 1962?” The result is a combination of Misfits classics and Ventures-style surf rock. Although this release’s name and cover art are a play on the Misfits’ Earth A.D./Wolfs Blood album, it consists of instrumental interpretations of tracks from Static Age, Horror Business, Walk Among Us, Evilive and Die Die My Darling. I must confess that I have only heard a few Misfits songs, so I will mainly be judging the following as surf songs rather than how well they work as reinterpretations.

Things kick off with “London Dungeon,” which takes its name from the (in)famous British spooky museum/haunted attraction. As this track will show you, the band’s Ventures comparisons are well earned. It’s peppy, but still has a spooky undercurrent. While “Return of the Fly” has a creepy opening, the rest of the song is rocking. Well, rocking but somewhat mournful. Despite my admitted lack of experience with the Misfits’ music, I could tell this was definitely a Misfits tune. It’s hard for me to describe, it just has the right feel. In the energetic “Horror Hotel,” named after a British horror film, punk and surf make beautiful babies. “Teenagers From Mars” has a somewhat heavier intro than preceding track, but the rest is fast ‘n light. The Crimson Ghosts’ surf take on the song shows just how well they are able to make Misfits tunes their own. Guitars and drums really shine in the unfortunately-named “Children in Heat,” which has a classic-sounding surf outro. The hard and fast reverb rock of “20 Eyes” reminds me why I love surf music. “Night of the Living Dead” starts out with a heavy-sounding intro and quickly moves into pounding beats with light reverb touches. “Vampira” is damn fine tribute to the mother of all horror hosts, with a great buildup towards the end. In “Die Die My Darling,” named for the classic Hammer film, classic surf touches abound (although its punk origins shine through). It seems that the notes themselves seem to symbolize the titular phrase. It ends with a great fadeout to a great song (and album).

Do you like the Misfits? Do you like surf? Then you’ll love the Crimson Ghosts! Given the release’s low price and excellent selection of music, Earth EP is the perfect way for curious potential fans to see whether or not they want to purchase any of the Crimson Ghosts’ other albums. In my case, it also convinced me to finally get into the Misfits more. Come to think of it, this ties in perfectly with the use of EPs in the world of punk music…

Special thanks to The Crimson Ghosts for use of the image!

Aug 30 2011

Tuesday uEtsy: JM Tolman

Tuesday uEtsy

JM Tolman
http://etsy.com/shop/JMTolman

ART CARDS No. 20- Slurp II

The hurricane came along and seemed to blow away the last bit of summer ’round these parts. The morning chill is far too deep into September for being a few days left to August. We guess that this year’s weather and disaster is going to be as wild and unpredictable as a feral Hobbs child, one of the distant relations growing up on the far end of the Bus routes.

With most of the students already in the midst of the new school year or on their way back, there’s a bit of shopping going on. While we don’t really advocate getting the essentials of your school supplies off of an individuals crafts site (we don’t think anyone has hand-make a Texas Instruments calculator or a philosophy book, but we wouldn’t surprised.) Instead, we have a site for those extra bits of inches you might need to personalize in preparation for another semester or two.

 

Monsters Trapped in Resin EARRINGS AND ZINE BUNDLE

J M Tolman’s store offers a variets of accessories for your body and where you store it at night. One of the deals available at this point is the ‘zine and earrings bundle. Not only do you get your choice of earrings from the many available here, you also get a copy of Monsters Trapped In Resin, the ‘zine put out by Tolman.

Mini Painting- Pyschopop

The ‘zine is likely full of all of Tolman’s artwork, which you can see on display with this shop. One of the pieces available is this miniature painting. “Psychopop” can be encouraging you to finish that term paper on time or this beautiful lady will haunt your dreams for the rest of your days. Or it’ll look nice to your computer – whatever! Buy it!

MIND OF OUR MIND 6 x 12.75 in Gouache Painting on Chipboard

For those of you cohabitating with someone else, the suggestion is to try to form a hive mind consciousness in order for you two (or three or four) to live together. On campus or off, sharing a place with someone is a few steps away from hell on earth, but not unless you somehow form a living shared mental connection. You could also create a list of rules and respect for the other, but why bother? You’re just going to end up swallowing the other person’s personality and existing in their body as a sentient extension of your own mental self. Might as well get this JM Tolman picture as a gift for the soon be auxiliary body. It’ll look nice on their/your room.

PSYCHOLINES Magenta and Black Painted Filigree Necklace

You’re going to need a talisman or a pendant or some kind of physical object to focus in all the stress you will invoke this coming semester. Not only is the job market uglier than a Tuscaloosa sewage refinement plant in July, the overtaxed professor has suddenly gone into a hyper-sanity that makes him a volatile sociopath that is just as likely to attack you in the manner of a rabid groundhog as pass your research project. Coupled with the growing devolution of the student body, a coedial regressing back to the primordial horny protoplasm of skin, base alcohol and acidic chemicals, going to school is hell on a brain. Best pick up this psycholines necklace to rub in the twi’ hours of the morn as you make sure every quotation is properly cited.

PAINTED NECKLACES Feral Vampire 37×50 MM MINI PAINTING REDUCED SALE

Or, you can give up the sanity. Pledge the Fraternity of the insane. Live like a hormonally controlled college kid, drinking and screwing your fellow drinking and screwing kids. We’ll need something to identify you since all manner of speech and civility will go out after your third mixer. Best get this painted necklace of a feral vampire. Seems fitting, as you might be sucking a keg dry or sucking face with someone in a secluded spot in the Library before rolling into your Intro to Sociology class. Why bother with trying to fight it? This is what college is about, about digesting as much knowledge and your classmates as possible.

Ah, if only we could go back. Memories.

While we pine back to those days when we were young, time passes by. Hurry up and visit JM Tolman’s etsy store and buy everything you can. Go to school and enjoy what time you have before you’re forced into the rut of adulthood: left with college loans; greater knowledge of both the similar and opposite sex; and a library of books you couldn’t sell back to the Campus Store. Come back next week for college credit (note: you will not get college credit) and another Tuesday uEtsy

 

Aug 25 2011

Room For All

Have you checked the ABOUT page? Did you see our motto? Omnis Habet Locum. ‘Everyone has a place.’

See. I don’t agree with a lot of the world. Considering how big it is, that’s no surprise. In the fight between you and the world, back the world. It’s bigger, more politically connected and better financed.

Similarly, there’s a lot of things in the pop culture of horror, sci-fi and inbetween that I find gross: fans going Tex Avery over a scantily clad woman (and subsequently, women doing what they can to solicit those reactions); racist and homophobic comments; blatantly derivative ideas produced by studios maintaining low overheads to have a high profit margin.

Hell is other people and when you get involved in a scene, you’ve got to accept a little bit of hell. As much as the Asylum might cheapen the genre, it’s got the right to be here. As much as barely covered tits might still keep the conversation to a hormone-injected neanderthal grunt, I’d be in the wrong to tell someone how to dress or how to act.

Still, there’s no room for hypocrisy. I can like the work of G.G. Allin and H.P. Lovecraft but I can’t overlook their racism just because I like a song and story, respectively. I can’t expect the culture to bend to my will and have everyone think like me. I’d hate it if I were to be in a scene where someone told me I’d have to change and adopt someone else’s perspective. I’d call bullshit!

The monsters of racism, cruelty and intolerance are prevalent in life and will always be; we must fight these baneful creatures until the end of days. I don’t want to partake in a culture where these shadows are simply ignored, where the art must be sanitized from all possible reflections of reality.

But these behaviors should not corrupt these spaces. If a kid can log onto a horror website and not have to worry about feeling less about him or herself for simply existing, that they don’t feel like shit for liking what they like, that they feel this is a scene where they feel comfortable with being open and relaxed, then fuck, every crappy shark, evil doll or shoddy made-to-DVD sequel is worth it.

The motto of this site was fashioned to capture the spirit you can find in the chorus of “Plenty for All” by Hot Snakes.

I think the term “room for all,” the idea that a place is open and accepting, is perfect. I find that it’s a beautiful sentiment. Be open like a grave.  Don’t care what a person looks like. Don’t mind who they love or what kind of movies they like. There’s room for all. The scene queens who want to be seen, the actors charging twenty bucks for a photograph, the people who like to argue about every fucking thing. They’re allowed in. If you don’t like them, well. They let you in. There’s plenty of space. Make use of it.

Finding a decent translation into Latin, since all the heavy shit is in Latin, proved less than successful. But it was meant to be. “Everybody has a place” still maintains the open grave policy, but also allows the disclaimer that cruelty and intolerance have a place outside of the scene. Everyone has a place; some places are here, with us but others are elsewhere. You can be racist and hateful but that shit’s place isn’t here, so leave it at the door.

OHL. I remind myself when I see something I don’t like. It’s not for me but it’s got a place here in this culture.

When you see it pop up on this site, it’s a reminder for you to call me (and anyone else on this site) if we forget it. We’re human (sorta) and we’re prone to fucking up (definitely) so hey. Leave a comment. Drop a line. Doesn’t need to be much, just three letters. We’ll understand.

 

Aug 24 2011

Freaky Tiki Surf-ari: More Arts & Crafts

The Hieratic Head of Ezra Pound doesn't have anything on us!

Seeing as how last year’s article about making your own Tiki stuff turned out so well, I thought I would revisit the subject this year.

If the wooden Tiki idol how-to from last year was not to your satisfaction, then perhaps you should try this article about making a cement Tiki garden idol.

What better way to spice up your Tiki bar than to build this nifty model of Thor Heyerdahl’s famous Kon-Tiki raft? If woodworking isn’t your thing, perhaps this papercraft Kon-Tiki replica would be more to your liking. Speaking of papercraft goodies, what Tiki bar would be complete without a dancing hula girl?

For something that’s potentially freakier, read up on making Tiki heads and designing Tiki pendants. The book that has the Tiki pendant instructions also has a perfect activity for those who are listening along to the music mentioned here: Drawing to island music.

Lighting is an essential part of any Tiki set-up, from the dim (but inviting) lamps to the red glowing eyes behind Tiki masks (accomplished by using a red Christmas lightbulb in a nightlight positioned a safe distance behind the mask). Go here to learn how to make your own hurricane lamps and Tiki votive candle holders. Do you want fire in your Tiki bar? Be both safe (and smart) by using one of the many fake flame tutorials available at the Monster Page of Halloween Project Links. Also of interest is this article, which lists types of wood that glow certain colors under a blacklight without needing any UV-reactive paint. It’s the perfect way to make your Tiki stuff extra freaky.

Searching Amazon yielded several mask–making kits that can be used to create Tiki decor, along with a special mold for making concrete Moais you can use to turn any yard into Easter Island. But if you’re going to go on Amazon to order stuff, you might as well go whole hog and choose from the various masks, idols, and other Tiki essentials that are already made. While we’re on Amazon, I should note how I think this educational “Moon in My Room” toy would work great in both Tiki set-ups and home haunts.

While searching for the above tutorials, I also found some instructions on making musical instruments. While only a few would look good hanging around a Tiki bar, all could be of use for anyone who wants to try their hand a making their own exotica tunes. This article shows how to make a candolin and a bottle xylophone and the very next page of the same magazine shows how to make a boom-whacker and quick ‘n dirty castanets. Although the directions given here are for a “toy” ukelele, I’d imagine that scaling up the plans would result in a serviceable standard ukelele. Finally, you can learn how to make a homemade glockenspiel, triangle, drum, and cymbals here.

For more Tiki decor goodness, be sure to visit the list of Tiki bar ideas over at the amazing TikiBarPlans.org!

As noted in previous “How-To” posts, Gravedigger’s Local 16 is not to be held responsible for the content on or anything that may occur (be it good or bad) as a result of visiting any links on those sites (or constructing a project that’s detailed on them and downloading anything from them). Attempt at your own risk.

Aug 23 2011

Tuesday uEtsy: Salvaged Expression

Tuesday uEtsy

Salvaged Expression
www.etsy.com/shop/SalvagedExpression

Do Not Use This Pin

“Return to repairing instead of replacing, of making good with what scraps you can when you cannot afford something new.”

So said the voice, heard by one of the Hobbs cousins, a youth named Darren. Heard it sometime after he found a piece broken off a plastic toy truck. The boy discovered his uncle’s workbench, for his uncle made a living working with saws, nails and wood. After a bit of glue, young Darren found that his truck, though clearly marked, worked just as well. The mark reminded him that all items are to be respected but that he, as a boy, shouldn’t be too attached to these physical items. Things break, he figured. It put him at a distance, and for a week, he was remote and quiet. Until he realized Things break and can be fixed, adding onto his discovery, did he get back to smiling, playing and, when his Uncle gave permission, fixing things.

We see similarities between the items of Salvaged Expression and the work of Darren Hobbs, who spent his teenage years learning not just how to fix things, but to make them as well.

Crunchy Catnip Eye

We’re fond of animals, here at the Local. We can’t abide by animal cruelty and ask that you donate to the ASPCA if you can. If you want a new item to spoil your feline friend, this crunchy Catnip Eye is perfect. Hand made and full of the plant that makes your cat either incredibly loving or a hyper drug fiend, this gruesome eye will help fulfill your cats dream of looking even more like a fierce killer.

Extraterrestrials Want You Pendant

Darren Hobbs never sold any of the items he made. Instead, Howard took that responsibility on himself. Darren would make the items, Howard would man the road-side table or the booth at the yearly fairs. Howard talked the customers to the product and Darren’s handiwork, pieces of metal and wood converted something handy or beautiful, would do the rest. Much like this pendant from Salvaged Expression, taking a bottlecap and refurbishing it into a symbol of the greys. Perhaps you have been abducted? Or that you want to be abducted? It’s possible. Show your pride!

Crackle Ring Adjustable

Perhaps you find that you’re not so much a pin person but prefer the subtle glamor of a ring. Adjustable, it allows for any finger, if your hands decide to swell up due to a poor fool allergy or animal sting and you don’t want to look any less fabulous when you’re rushed to the emergency room. Better to have the ability to slip it off instead of having the paramedics cut through the band.

Human Finger Cat Toy

Just be careful they don’t cut your finger off. Or else you’ll have to feed it to the cat and you don’t want to deal with a pet that has the taste for human flesh. Instead, give your cat the Human Finger Cat Toy. It contains the same shock value and satisfaction for your pets primordial killer instinct, but comes at half the sacrifice and it looks cute. Who wouldn’t want that?

Cyber Stone Pendant

The rock was the first bit of technology ever used. Pick up a rock. Use rock. SCIENCE. Applying the physics of smashing stuff with something made out of stone, the rock was this planet’s first use of technology. Sure, the Stick Lobby would have you believe otherwise, but don’t trust those lying bark-biters, with their wooden deliveries and propped-up arguments. Rocks. It was always rocks. And this pendant celebrates the marriage of ancient technology with modern, in a piece of jewelery that still retains its rock properties in case a coconut of Biblical giant happens to present a problem to you.

You’ll have a problem if you don’t visit Salvaged Expression’s Etsy store. It’ll be a problem of poor taste and poor life choices. Remember, you have a choice and we thank you for choosing to visit us next week for another edition of Tuesday uEtsy.

Aug 19 2011

Freaky Tiki Surf-ari: 6′+ Episode 11 is Up!

It's one loco luau!

To quote the description given at the new listing:

“It wouldn’t be summer without the annual event over at Gravedigger’s Local 16: The Freaky Tiki Surf-ari. You can check out all the hooplah at the luau here while you listen to this episode. We have some of the hits from Tiki’s past, present and future.

Mix up your favorite fruity concoction, put on that Hawaiian shirt your family begs you to throw out and kick you feet up as you listen to music from The Ding Dong Devils, Don Tiki (and DJ Jimmy B), Clouseaux, The Moon-Rays, Satan’s Pilgrims and more!”

You can find all episodes of 6’+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes. We’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

Aug 18 2011

Freaky Tiki Surf-ari: Ding Dong Devils

Ding Dong Devils
Official Myspace
Tassels, Mai-Tais & Mischief, Tiki Tunes Records 2010

Nice...artwork

Based out of Los Angeles, the Ding Dong Devils are not your average exotica band. In addition to the obvious exotica and surf influences, the band also draws inspiration from “fuzzy 60’s garage rock, amped-up rockabilly, tremolo-laden surf, and even the greasy bump and grind music that was used to accompany burlesque performers.” Their seamless changing from style to style in each song seem just as playful as the band itself. Speaking of which, the Ding Dong Devils feature:

Edwin Letcher as Rama Lama – vocals, guitar, ukelele and xylophone
Julia Devine as Nepheria – vocals, bass and upright bass
Brent Walker as Caltiki – vocals, guitar, steel guitar and mandolin
Rosann Simeroth as Puka von Pule – vocals, drums and percussion

While Tassels, Mai-Tais & Mischief is their debut album, that’s not the only reason why it’s special. Guest musician Dave Klein was brought in to lend his expertise on keyboards, bongos and percussion while noted artist (and Tiki mug maestro) Derek Yaniger was tapped to provide the cover art. But what of the music itself? Let’s find out!

Things kick off with the jaunty steel guitar and bongos of “Ding Dong Devils Theme I.” It’s a short, humorous piece used to start up their shows. “Jungle Doctor” has a heavier sound with plenty of rockin’ guitars. Despite what the title might have you think, the song’s subject matter is not a witch doctor. Instead, it’s who you see out if you had two many Mai Tais or headhunters have you in a stew. I enjoyed the punchline at the end. “Rob Roy” opens with the sounds of bar chatter and we soon hear a man trying (but failing) to get the bartender to make the titular drink. The overall feel of the song is that you’re overhearing conversations in a bar as a band plays in the background. In “Ballad of a Taboo Image,” a wooden idol sings of being transplanted from an island tribe to Polynesian restaurant. As the catchy tune continues, we hear of the further trials and tribulations of the transplanted Tiki. If it wasn’t for the ending, I would swear this song was based on the story of a Tiki restaurant turned seafood joint in my neck of the woods. The instrumental (save for the spoken refrain) “Tassel Hassle” wonderfully uses a steel guitar to musically conjure up exactly the sort of thing the title implies. Although the name “Theme from ‘Belly Dancers of Bali Bali'” might make you think of a movie theme, this is a completely original composition by the band. That said, it would definitely make a great introduction to a film, as drums start things off and soon give way to both a reverbtastic steel guitar and a wild chant of the title by the band members.

The percussion and keyboards evoke a spooky feel in “Leopard Man,” as do varying vocals which describe the villainous subject of the song. In fact, the whole band gets in on the action when it comes to warning us of the Leopard Man, who seems more like a super villain than a member of the Leopard Society to me. “Sufferin’ Bastard,” a tribute to (and history of) the drink of the same name, has a rock feel. If you thought mummies would get a mention due to the drink’s origins in Cairo, you’re right! Soft percussion, guiros and a steel guitar set the mood for “Mai Tais in the Moonlight,” where a couple sing of a tasty Polynesian picnic in the moonlight, along with how each drink effects the woman. “I Carry a Tiki Torch For You,” in which a lovestruck singer demonstrates how not to pick up someone you fancy at a bar (Tiki or otherwise), has the feel of a subdued B-52’s song with a tropical touch. In sharp contrast, “Head Shrinker” is much darker, (well, as dark as the Devils can get) where drums and chanting back several people commenting on a shrunken head. I never thought roast pork would make a good multi-faceted metaphor for love, but the fast, rockabilly tune that is “(You Got Me) Stuck like a Luau Pig” showed me otherwise. Guiros (an exotica standard) make an appearance in “Tiki Boots” among the soft ‘n slow percussion and guitar work. The closing of Tiki bars and their subsequent replacement with more “mainstream” establishments is all too common these days. “False Idols Put a Curse on You” uses organ work, percussion and guitars to weave a tale of the terrible fate suffered by those who try to just that, something I imagine many a Tiki enthusiast secretly wishes for in their darkest moments. “Brontosaurus Stomp” is an excellent cover of the Piltdown Men’s classic ditty, in which drums filling in for the footfalls of a dancing dinosaur. Finally, “Ding Dong Devils Theme II” closes out the album (and this review) out with a continuation of the opening track.

My advice to hardcore Tiki enthusiasts is to think of the group as the musical equivalent of American-made “Polynesian” creations like crab rangoons and rumaki: not technically exotica in the strictest sense, but is still inspired by it (and still wonderful). Unlike the subject of my previous installment in the Freaky Tiki Surf-ari, Tassels, Mai-Tais & Mischief is a factory-pressed CD release. They “put the hula in your hula hoop” and “strum ukeleles until their fingers hurt”…they’re the Ding Dong Devils!

Special thanks to the Ding Dong Devils for the review copy!

Aug 17 2011

We sCare.

Considering that 20% of American’s juvenile population was found to be living in poverty (according to a 2009 study), the announcement of the sCare Foundation comes at a much needed time.

“[Malek] Akkad is excited to announce the launch of the sCare (Suspense Community Allocating Relief and Empowerment) Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to alleviating the hardships of poverty and homelessness facing today’s youth throughout Northern America.”

Malek Akkad, producer of the Halloween franchise for the last fifteen years. Considering that the movie Halloween arguably established the teenage-slasher genre/precedent that continues to this day, a devout filmmaker of the brand would be appropriate to start up a charity that helps the poor and struggling youth.

The newly formed foundation sent out a press release. It’s quoted that sCare “plans to partner with national youth non-profit organizations to provide financial support to their existing youth programs and to arrange special sCare activities for the children, such as set visits to suspense films, movie screenings, video contests, celebrity meet-and-greets, and more.”  

Y’know, this seems good. If this organization gets more kids involved in filmmaking and provides the tools to underpriveledged kids to creatively express themselves, hell. That’s awesome.

“Recognizing that most suspense fans are creative and technologically savvy, sCare hopes to nurture those interests by getting the fans involved in contests to create videos and graphic t-shirts, and in expanding sCare’s presence online, at horror conventions, and in the philanthropic world. sCare wholeheartedly believes that the suspense genre demographic is an untapped resource of unlimited potential in giving and changing our global community.”

I need to figure out if there are other horror-based charities. I know the video gamer ‘community’ has a couple of charities. If the horror culture can offer a helping hand, albeit bloody, gloved or clawed one, then why not?

To learn more about sCare Foundation, please visit: http://www.sCareFoundation.org

 

Aug 16 2011

Tuesday uEtsy: Creepy Glowbug Concoctions

Tuesday uEtsyCreepy Glowbug Concoctions
http://www.etsy.com/shop/glowreahhh

 

Creepy Cute Girly Bow Skull pendant – black/silver spiral skull with pink bow

We recently caught up with Hector, poet laurite and up-to-the-minute news reporter. Hector was spotted hanging out the Circle-K and spoke of the following:

“Last night, a lady and feller
Went off to the Fortune teller
Doors open, though she was closed
And I saw they had the same nose
Before Lady Ulster bustled them to the cellar.”

A follow-up inquiry confirmed that Madam Lady Ulster’s younger siblings were in town. Milo and Eva had showed up late and Lady Ulster, not one to turn away her last bit of her family, let them crash in the basement of her rented building until they find lodging for themselves. We’re not entirely sure how long they’ll be in town, since Lady Ulster usually packs up and migrates westward once the October tourist season dries up.

Milo and Eva aren’t too bad, just a bit too young for their older sister who, older than them both by a decade and a half, is lost in the age gap. Doesn’t help that neither seem as self-starting in securing a viable profession as their elder sibling; Milo usually trawls around the University campus while Eva spends her days cycling between coffee shops and bookstores. When she’s got a book and a latte nearby, she’s seen twirling a finger around a necklace, idling playing with a pendant while her thoughts are running.

Can’t confirm that she was wearing something from Creepy Glowbug Concoctions, this week’s Tuesday uEtsy, but if she did, it would confirm that she had good taste in fashion, if not in life decisions. We can’t fault the youth for being young. It would be like blaming the elderly for growing old or the corpse for being dead.

BWAINZZZ- Brains-Zombie Bwainzz – abby normal mix of 4 brains

Or undead; sometimes, they don’t stay dead and you can still get pretty steamed at them. Or fried, if that’s how you like your brains. Always be prepared for a bite-sized Zombie attack with these BWAINZZZ, miniature brains that work well for art projects, good luck tokens or distractions when a zombie tries to pop one in for a breath mint (which, we must add, would be a great thing because there’s nothing worse than death breath.)

Halloween Glow in the Dark Ghost miniature ornament

Though we wonder about the length of Milo and Eva’s stay with their sister, what with November a few months away, we have to remind ourselves that November is STILL quite a few months away. It’ll be winter in fair due time and with that, holiday ornaments decorating evergreens both organic and plastic. Or, you can buck the trend and have one of the many Glow in the Dark ornaments around your house either for Halloween or 365 days a year. Go wild. Defy the system!

BWAINZZZ- Brains- magnets- gray matter

These magnetic versions of BWAINZZZ are a damn miracle, if you ask us. As you can see here, they can help the most absent minded individual keep on top of things. If you want to keep a picture taken before your teenage sister went off to her prom, her hair helped by you because your mother had passed a year before, these magnets will secure that photograph to your fridge.

Miniature “sTEaMpUNKiNs” set of 2 pumpkin sculptures

There’s a joke somewhere that if you just paste gears onto anything, it makes it steampunk. We laughed when we heard that but it’s not entirely true. See, what Creepy Glowbug Concoctions have made here is the evolution of ultraviolence. That’s right – no longer do we worry about clockwork oranges when we have steampunk pumpkins – Or “sTEaMpUNKiNs” How cool is that?

Summer Fun Zombie Girl greeting card

Speaking of cool, even the undead have to chill off during the heat. While we have to say that any comely looking lass with green skin and a taste for brains sends off mixed signals, we do have to admit that the artwork here is quite fun. If you want to send a card that confuses the sexuality (or confirms some things you suspected) of your friends, here is the thing for you.

For more awesome stuff, visit the official Etsy store for Creepy Glowbug Concoctions as well as their Blog. Buy stuff! Enjoy the last of the summer. When you’re tanned and sore, come back inside for another Tuesday uEtsy.

Aug 15 2011

A silver bullet to the head.

So, Disney got cold feet at the idea of shelling out upwards to a quarter-of-a-billion-dollars in a budget for a movie based off a property that was old back when your parents were young. Yes, The Lone Ranger reboot that had Johnny Depp slated as Tonto.

The premise of the Lone Ranger is that six Texas rangers are ambushed and left for dead. Upon discovery of the chaos, the native Tonto nurses the sole survivor back to health. Six graves are dug to lead the world in thinking that there was no survivor and the former ranger, “lone” as he is, adopts a vigilante role.

The usual gang of idiots behind the bloated The Pirates of the Carribean franchise were looking to do the same to this antiquated intellectual property as it did with the old Disneyland ride. Instead of skeletons or the reality of a man abandoning his life to bring his would-be-murderers to justice, they were going to go with werewolves. Naturally. And because no one gives a damn about Armie Hammer, who would have played the titular role, the 2009 script was based around Johnny Depp and the premise that Tonto was the main bad-ass.

You know what? Thank goodness this movie was ended. I hope it never get off the ground. As much as it would be nice to give the hundreds, if not thousands, of small-time laborers and technicians to produce this trash, The Lone Ranger was going to be basically the five people responsible for The Pirates of the Carribean having a two million+ dollar holiday producing something designated for Saturday repeats on basic cable stations.

Rumors that the failing of Cowboys and Aliens to rake in the world’s ever-shrinking disposable income put the kabosh on what Dread Central dubbed “cowboys and werewolves.” What I’d like to think is that the War on Drugs happened to succeed in delaying the shipment of high grade designer drugs to the Disneyland executives that a moment of sobriety allowed someone, ANYONE, to speak up and ask “Wait, they’re going to make a movie about what?”

Look, if someone wants to blow an amount of money on a shitty movie, do it on an original concept. Or, for the price of this one Johnny Depp v. Werewolves movie,  Disney could finance four 50 million dollar movies, or a combination of many other films that, with a low overhead, could make a lot of money. (spend 10 million, make 50 million = 40 million in profit > spend 200 million, make 150 million = -50 million)  

Gore Verbinski and Johnny Depp already had their western movie. It was called Rango and it featured Bill Nighy as a talking rattlesnake. Look, these numbskulls had their turn goofing off.  Give the money to someone who bothered to not scan TV Land, RetroTV or the Museum of Radio and Television for ideas.

 

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