Haunted Hotsauce: The Return

Earlier, I spoke about and tried half of the bottles included in the package from HauntedHotsauce.com. I spoke of Mortician Mold’s resurrection powers and how Fleshfeast should be a staple of your fridge. They are perfect entries for those who are looking to try hotsauce other than the typically generic brands on the shelf at your local grocer or bodega.

For the more advanced, we have two entries on the high end of the HauntedHotsauce.com heat index. At first I thought I would save them for a special occasion but since every day above ground is one worth for celebration, I busted them out this past Sunday and had a go.

Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein’s Made In Hell Hot Sauce

For those of you not familiar, Doyle was a member of the Misfits lineup, back in the eighties when it involved Glen Danzig up all the way up until the Michael Graves years. I think he might have been with the band when it toured with Jerry Only, Doyle’s real brother, and Robo on drums. Doyle and wife Gorgeous George are a part of the musical entity Gorgeous Frankenstein, who will be releasing a new album this year.

Working with HauntedHotsauce, Doyle’s Made In Hell sauce is the second hottest product available from Haunted Hotsauce. What I noticed that among the four bottles I have, Made In Hell utilized black pepper the most and it can be tasted. Made In Hell has one of the most distinct personalities of any sauce I have ever tasted up to this point in my life.  Listed as a Louisiana “Cajun-style” hotsauce, I can definite see this being applied to seafood and chicken in a great marinade. It makes me hungry just thinking about it.

Heatwise, it definitely packs a punch. The deep flavor of the cracked black pepper and cayenne definitely gives it a kick. I only tried a little and will be careful when using it to cook in the future.

Moreso, I will be ginger when using the Hell Razor.

Hell Razor Habanero

The hottest product available on HauntedHotsauce.com, it took a good couple of pints of milk to finally cool myself down. The heat definitely stayed with me after I tried this. Definitely not fooling around, this habanero sauce is not to be taken lightly. It took only a few drops to liven up a taco and when I brew up some chili in a week, it’ll take just a few to make the batch a good one.

The best thing is that never did my mouth die from the spice. Even at the peak of the “burn,” I still could taste. This wasn’t a sauce that was aiming to kill me in some show of bravado. It was confident in its ability. This is spicy, no doubt, but it didn’t sacrifice the flavor for some dragon’s breath boast. There are sauces on the market that I won’t try because it’s evident that the creator didn’t care for making an enjoyable experience – they only wanted to have some big ego in saying they made a sauce that’s so hot, it’ll cause a cardiac arrest.

There’s also a point to that which I think Victor “The Undertaker” Ives of Haunted Hotsauce gets, and it becomes a reason why Haunted Hotsauce is the ideal product for any self-respecting horror fan.

Those who don’t get horror think that the genre and its supporters are enthusiastic for mindless gore, foaming at the prospect to witness celluloid carnage. In those who don’t get it, the great misconception is that a horror movie fan’s greatest delight is seeing buxom women getting carved up in graphic displays of violence that stain the screen red and leave a murder trail a mile long.

The truth is, yeah. Horror fans enjoy gore, violence and murderous freaks. But, we’re not uncouth. Quite.

What most people fail to get when they don’t understand horror is that it’s as much about restraint as it is about excess. The less you see, the more you have to fill in with your imagination. Horror is a complement to a person’s mind, not filler for it. And the gore was not without reason. Even the grindiest of grindhouse movies knew to include a plot (though it could be argued that grindhouse as a genre is the overloading of senses to eliminate thinking altogether, that “the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” It’s another argument for another time.) Horror should complement, never supplant, the fan’s intelligence or imagination.

If it was possible to quantify experiences, then the makers of Haunted Hotsauce know their audience well. They have successfully captured the horror mentality with their product. As they sought to create tasty sauces that make great additions to your daily palate, they managed to create what a horror movie might actually taste like. The strength of the spice in Hell Razor Habanero and Made In Hell sauce is potent, and it will stay with you long after the bite. But never does it overpower the senses. It’s not gratuitous. There is no spice-for-the-sake-of-being-spicy here. I was really impressed.

These products get my highest recommendation and I hope to purchase them for my friends and family for Christmas (spoiler alert to any of them who are reading this.) Head on over to HauntedHotsauce.com now and purchase a bottle. You won’t regret it.

 

Bonus: Here’s horror hostesses Marlene Midnite and Robyn Graves (of Midnite Mausoleum) in the commercial they made for Haunted Hotsauce.com

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