Sep 19 2014

6’+ Delay

In case you don’t read our podcast’s Facebook page, here’s a repeat of an important status update:

“Sorry, folks. Got to take a week off. In the meantime, why not revisit our last Friday the 13th episode?”

Said Friday the 13th episode can be found here. If you have any suggestions for artists/bands (or anything else you want more of on the show) please feel free to submit them to CONTACT at 6FTPLUS dot com.

You can find all previous episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes, Stitcher and Spreaker. They’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

Sep 17 2014

Karloff Loves Flowers, Poetry

Boris is perplexed by the phrasing of this article.

If you want to please an actor who spends all his time on movie sets and otherwise before the camera making horror “entertainment” then shudder at the mere mention of his name. Then and only then does he know he has “arrived” in the most elite upper crust of horrordom.

Such a one is Boris Karloff and no one who has ever seen him on-screen can argue that point. If you haven’t been exposed to his special kind of menace on the screen, hurry to the Leathbridge Theatre where “The Terror” is being played and you’ll quickly see what we mean.

He is best known as the screen’s “Frankenstein” even though he has not portrayed a Frankenstein since 1935 when he did “The Son of Frankenstein,” the third of the series. Of course, he has other horror roles to his credit but it was his Frankensteins that won him acclaim as the greatest terror character actor in motion pictures and a worthy successor to the late Lon Chaney, who in his day, was undisputed champion.

Off-screen, the “Real” Boris Karloff is cultured, soft-spoken, an English gentleman whose real interests are flower gardens, poetry, the legitimate stage and world affairs. He is a devoted husband and father, an avid fan and follower of the English spectator sports, cricket and rugby.

But on-screen, every Karloff movie is a scary one and “The Terror” ranks right up there with the best of them. As the Baron von Leppe, wandering around in his isolated castle and being haunted by far, far more than memories, he is a truly ominous character.

Jack Nicholson and Sandra Knight furnish the young lover romantic interest, while Dorothy Neumann is an old woman you wouldn’t care to meet after dark. Richard Miller and Jonathan Haze add to the intrigue amidst sets that are lavish and mood-provoking. Part of the action takes place in wooded mountain country famed for its beauty.

“The Terror” as produced and directed by Roger Corman and is an American International release in conjunction with The Filmgroup, Inc. It was filmed in Color and Vistascope.

[This post is based around one of many prepared articles included in the pressbook for The Terror. With the exception of adding a theater name in order to mimic how this would have looked in an old newspaper, the article has been unchanged. To see more, head on over to From Zombos' Closet.]

Sep 16 2014

SJTV: Tales From The Crypt, ‘Dead Right’

Welcome to SJTV: Tales From The Crypt, as we start to recap the second season of the HBO series Tales From The Crypt. In the initial installment, the future George Bluth Sr. decides to woo the future ex-Mrs. Bruce Willis in an episode that shows that money is thicker than water. Or something.

tftc0101

DEAD RIGHT (first aired April 21, 1990)

This episode was directed by Howard Deutch, who directed ‘Pretty In Pink,’ ‘The Great Outdoors‘ ‘Getting Even With Dad‘ and ‘Grumpier Old Men.’ After 2008’s ‘My Best Friend’s Girl,’ Howard has kept himself to directing an odd television show every here and there (Big Love, Hung, CSI: NY, Warehouse 13, American Horror Story, etc.,) I can’t blame him – after doing a movie with Dane Cook, Jason Biggs and Alec Baldwin, I’d quit movies as well.

We start off with a snythtastic 80’s Noir plunkings, courtesy of Jay Ferguson (who?) as if Casablanca was done somewhere east of the Pyramid Club in 80’s NYC. We start off with our heroine walking down the street. Judging by Cathy Finch’s (Demi Moore, about two months away from her iconic role in Ghost) manner of dress, it’s a nebulous 50’s type of era. Cathy walks into Madame Vorna’s Fortune Teller parlor. Vorna is played by Natalija Nogulich, who I only know as a Fleet Admiral from two different Star Trek series. That doesn’t really do the woman’s body of work justice, but that’s all that comes to mind.

After Cathy pays twenty bucks for a reading, most of Vorna’s accent splits with the cash, leaving the pseudo-gypsy caricature to use VIBRATIONS to read Cathy’s future. Instead, she reads Cathy TO FILTH. Vorna isn’t saying she’s a gold digger, but you don’t see her with no broke…

Along with pointing out that Cathy aims to marry into a higher tax bracket, but Madame Vorna says that not only will Cathy lose her job, but she’ll get a new one by the end of the day. That one was on the house – the first one’s free. The second one will always cost you.

Read the rest of this entry »

Sep 12 2014

6′+ Episode 121 is Up!

2013 Logo IconTo quote the description given at the new listing:

“Everything gets back on track – amazing what a good cup of coffee can do. With the Monstermatt Minute and music from Nim Vind, The Young Werewolves, Calabrese and more, Strange Jason does his version of Coffee Talk about all things 6ftplus.”

Remember to email 6′+ (contact at 6ftplus.com) or leave a comment below about the show, whether you liked it or not. Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes, but above all – enjoy.

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes, Stitcher and Spreaker. They’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

Sep 10 2014

WeeGee Is Real?

If you watch a lot of Youtube videos, you’re probably already familiar with WeeGee in some way. He’s made cameo appearances in the backgrounds of many a video and has been the villain in countless Youtube Poops. He’s also appeared in numerous images and message board threads. But even if you recognize him, you might not understand exactly who (or what) he really is. It’s all explained here, but I’ll give you a quick summary: Somebody posted the off model art use for Luigi in the PC version of Mario Is Missing! and noted how creepy he looked. A complete mythology developed around “WeeGee,” with tales of unspeakable evil and his ability to turn people into duplicates of himself using green rays shot from his eyes.

Naturally, people picked up on the horror aspect pretty quickly and ran with it. My favorite examples are shown in the following videos, which combine the meme with footage from Ghost Adventures and Grave Encounters:

So if you’re lying in bed awake one night and have the feeling that someone is watching you, just remember that it’s probably WeeGee. Pleasant dreams!

Sep 09 2014

SJTV: The Results

After closing the poll yesterday (thanks to those who voted) we ended up with a clear winner for this inaugural edition of SJTV: 

Tales-From-The-Crypt-logo

Yep, I will do my darndest to offer something new to say about the old HBO horror anthology, as it was the clear winner. But before we dive headfirst into the Nostalgia, I have to explain that we’ll be doing Season 2 of Tales From The Crypt, since there’s seven seasons to it. We’re not starting with Season One because the Nerdist recently ran an excellent EnCRYPTed series, detailing the first season (and I’m not competing with the Nerdist here – Blue Ocean Strategy, yo.) Season 2 has the most episodes (18) which means this could go as long as four months or, if I double up, I could knock this out by Thanksgiving.

First installment starts up at 9/16 when we talk “DEAD RIGHT,” where a Star Trek admiral, George Bluth and the former Mrs. Ashton Kutcher decided to play “Fuck/Marry/Kill.”

P.S. If I got time, I’ll do a quick recap on the episodes of 6ftplus. So be sure to subscribe on iTunes or wherever.

 

 

 

Sep 05 2014

6′+ Episode 119 is Up!

2013 Logo IconTo quote the description given at the new listing:

“Strange Jason returns in time to celebrate Gravedigger’s Local 16′s 6th birthday. With music from Sparky and the Deadbillys, Concrete Blonde, The Tranceplants and Monster Klub, as well as The Monstermatt Minute, Heather Buckley’s Oddscurities and Kraig Khaos’s Killer Kuts.”

Remember to email 6′+ (contact at 6ftplus.com) or leave a comment below about the show, whether you liked it or not. Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes, but above all – enjoy.

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes, Stitcher and Spreaker. They’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

Sep 04 2014

Wooden Cthulhu Fetish

From the Miskatonic University Special Collections, a native artifact recovered from an archeological dig in the summer of 1926. Traditionally, Dr. Francis Morgan would use first and second year students to explore interesting historical sites across the state to give them some experience with actual field conditions. That year he decided to excavate the area around the mysterious standing stones at the edge of the Big Cypress Swamp just off the Gainsville pike.

The dig uncovered extensive evidence of habitation, including an interesting pattern of post holes and firepits, along with hundreds of stone tools and pottery shards. This particular artifact was actually found outside the area of the excavation proper when a student wading across a swampy patch of ground found his feet trapped in the thick, viscous mud of the swamp. After being pulled out by his comrades, who were much amused by the loss of his boots in the mire, he attempted to retrieve his footwear. Using small logs picked up from the surrounding forest he built up a rough layer of brush that would support his weight and was able to extricate his sodden boots from under the water. After reaching dry ground he dumped the accumulated muck out and discovered this curious wooden figure nestled in the mud. Attempts were made to further excavate that site, but the watery conditions made serious work impossible.

The carved wooden figure was remarkably well preserved by the swamp, much like the archeological finds recovered from the bogs of Great Britain. Morgan initially identified it as a fetish of pre-colonial Wampanoag manufacture in the site log, noting that it had been carved from a tree root and depicted some sort of nature spirit. While the rest of the artifacts from the dig were cataloged in the University’s general collection the fetish was sent to the special collections annex. Curiously, despite the potential importance of the find it only received a passing reference in the final dig report. Custody records show that Dr. Morgan had the figure in his possession from 1927 to 1931, but the fetish was never mentioned publicly again.

This was a fun little project, but incredibly time consuming. The fetish is pretty much as described- a carved root. I wanted something with the look of a real native artifact, so I tried to blend the features of Cthulhu with the naturally twisting shape of of the wood. The carving was done with a variety of x-acto knives. Then I aged the wood using a combination of high heat and ultraviolet light exposure under carefully controlled conditions. A technique otherwise known as “throwing it on my front dashboard to bake in the sun for a week or two”. The final finish was a light wash of brown and black ink to accentuate all the textures produced by the weathering process.

This article originally appeared at Propnomicon.

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 License.

Aug 31 2014

Freaky Tiki Surf-ari: Beware the Dangers of a Ghost Scorpion

Beware the Dangers of a Ghost Scorpion
Official Site
The Legend Of Goatman’s Bridge, Scorpi-O-Tone Recordings 2011
Five After Midnight, Scorpi-O-Tone Recordings 2011

So if a red sky at night is a sailor's delight, what does a yellow one mean?

While there are many horror bands who wear masks and perform under aliases, none are nearly ass mysterious as Beware the Dangers of a Ghost Scorpion. One would think a band based in Massachusetts would be from that state, right? But the group claims to be from Denton County, Texas. There have been numerous hints the band is actually a group of teen delinquents called the Fishercats, who allegedly died in a car crash in the 60’s. Their Facebook page notes this live performance was their first since 2005 and yet they did not join Facebook until 2010. Whoever and whatever the band’s exact origins are remain shrouded in mystery. Only the following people know for sure and I doubt they’ll be telling any time soon:

Vince Vance DeLambre: Guitar
Professor Coyote Science: Guitar
Naughty Bobby, The Bitchin’ Witch Boy: Bass
Glotch: Drums

The Legend Of Goatman’s Bridge was their debut album and they made one hell of a first impression. “We Welcome the Living (But Only If They Come Here To Die)” combines classic surf sensibility with raw punk grittiness. If there’s such a thing as “subdued bouncy,” then this is it. “They Won’t Stay Dead!” is the perfect blend of guitars and drums. Having a Night of the Living Dead reference for a name is also a plus. “Heads Will Roll!” is fast and furious; I especially love the atmospheric second half. Speaking of atmosphere, the slow guitars and evil laugh that start off “Goatman’s Bridge” are incredibly effective, which makes the transition to rollicking surf even better. It’s a great finish to both the song and the album itself. And get this: Not only does the bridge tie into their origin story, but it’s also a real place!

Now I'm having Nick Fury Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. flashbacks.  BEWARE SCORPIO!

While some might give themselves a year before putting out another album, Beware the Dangers of a Ghost Scorpion released Five After Midnight the same year as their first album and there is no drop in quality. Percussion and reverb-heavy guitars immediately kick off “Denton County Casket Company,” which packs in a surprising amount of style changes. I don’t know if I should describe it as “crunchy” or “fuzzy,” but I know what I like and boy do I like this! The super speedy introduction of “Unforgettable Skull Deformation” grabs you by the throat and never lets go, not even for the brief slower paced interlude. The band’s surf influence is at its strongest in “Red River Tombstone Hustle,” but there’s still some punk feel. A mysterious voice whispers the title of “The Lurker” and its slow pace adds to its lurking feel. The moody saxophone work by guest performers Jess Fox and Scott Miller gives it an extra kick. Finally, “North Texas Cobra Squadron Theme” blazes right out the gate and beats you over the head with its greatness.

Beware the Dangers of a Ghost Scorpion offers a great combination of horror surf and punk delivered through tracks that never overstay their welcome. In other words, their stuff is definitely worth picking up. You had better believe there is plenty of pick up, as they been quite busy since 2011. 2012 saw the release of their live EP Trashy Bullshit and their first full length release, Blood Drinkers Only, came out in 2013. They recently appeared on the Monsters of Surf compilation from Ding Dong Records and unleashed a new EP called CAUGHT DEAD. So keep an eye on these guys, as I’m sure they have more great stuff planned for the future.

Special thanks to Beware the Dangers of a Ghost Scorpion for use of the images!

Aug 29 2014

6′+ Episode 120 is Up!

2013 Logo IconTo quote the description given at the new listing:

“Nate the Psychobilly Gardener is joining us for this week and fears that he has accidentally gotten Strange Jason killed. Sherlock Foxxx, the world’s only consulting fox detective, gets on the case with Undead Elvis. Nate tries his best to keep you entertained as they race against the clock.”

Remember to email 6′+ (contact at 6ftplus.com) or leave a comment below about the show, whether you liked it or not. Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes, but above all – enjoy.

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes, Stitcher and Spreaker. They’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

Aug 26 2014

Freaky Tiki Surf-ari: Creepxotica

Creepxotica
Official Site
Creepxotica, Dionysus Records 2011
Haunted Bossa Nova, Dionysus Records 2013

This logo is being shown because the only boobs showcased on Gravedigger's Local 16 are our writers.  Hey, wait a minute...

Creepxotica has a rather interesting history. It’s actually a side project of the horror surf band The Creepy Creeps, which is in turn made up from former members of bands like Struggle, Tarantula Hawk and The Locust (among others). Hailing from San Diego, the Creepy Creeps’s first album was 2006’s The Creepy Creeps LP. But since it was released on a U.K. label, most American fans are probably more familiar with the 2009 album Fink About It. While I can’t quite pin down when Creepxotica started, I do know their first release was a self-titled EP in 2011.

Creepxotica starts off with “Haunted Hula,” in which spooky storm sound effects take us into spooky guitar work and bongos. There’s plenty of percussion and vibe work and it’s simultaneously lively and eerie. I love the bongo work in “Creeping Kilauea,” which is perfectly paired with a vibraphone and guitars which seem to moan softly. “Enchanted Lagoon” is both speedy and sneaky in tone and has a very light feel to its use of vibes. “Murder on Molokai” mixeslight vibes, spooky guitar touches, guiros and super soft piano work. Said piano picks up for a great interlude with drums at one point and I love the use of spooky sound effects in this track.

In Haunted Bossa Nova, a reverb heavy surf opening soon gives way to eerie exotica in the energetic “Head Huntin.” “Bali Hai Bossa” offers ever-present guiros and light music provided by drums and vibes (plus a little guitar work). There’s a happy feel at first, but takes on a more serious tone later one. It’s also somewhat “Middle Eastern” in feel at times. Tiki fans will immediately notice how the title is a South Pacific reference and is the first of many references sprinkled throughout the album. This album’s take on “Haunted Hula” isn’t as creepy as the EP version, but that doesn’t make it any less awesome. I actually prefer this take on it! Its heavy surf influence is on full display and contrasts nicely with the soft vibes and guitars. The opening of “Hotel Street Blues” echos that of the previous track, but quickly asserts its own identity with the group’s saxophone talents on full display. Bongo fans are sure to love this and I couldn’t help but notice how the title seems to refer to part of Hawaii’s Chinatown. Similarly, “Pig Ana Poi” pays tribute to some of Hawaii’s famous foods. Where do I begin? There’s dreamy vibes and other exotic percussion, along with a little chanting. There are some soft guitars as well, but vibes are the main attraction here. Vibes quickly give way to reverb goodness in “Creepin Kilauea,” which is similar to the EP version. There’s plenty of guiros and bongos and you can learn more about Kilauea here. As providing background for each reference to a part of Hawaii would take up too much time and space, I suggest using that link to search for any other Hawaiian names used in this album.

“Kaimuki Kraze” is light and sneaky, but thankfully stands out from tracks with a similar feel on the album. Its surf side is in full view, but still has exotica bits. Wood blocks open “Hanalie Hoopla,” which is lower key than other the tracks so far. In addition to enjoying its use of piano and insectlike guiros, I appreciated it offering a new variation on Creepxotica’s standard beat. More on that later. “Enchanted Lagoon” is longer, slower and much more suspenseful this time around. Is that a bad thing? Hell no! Its unique vibraphone introduction and eerie backing tones conjure up a sense of magic and mystery. It’s the perfect balance of spooky surf and exotica. The musical equation for “Waimea Witch Hunt” is drums plus guiros plus sax equals great music. The organ interlude is also a nice touch. “Murder on Molokai” is more energetic this time around and is shorter than the EP version. The sound effects may be gone, but they’ve been replaced with a tambourine and other unexpected musical surprises. “Incident at the Luau” has its mysterious and mournful opening music draped over a bongo beat. Said beat is very different from the other tracks and the use of a sitar is a great touch.

Earlier in my review, I made a comment about Creepxotica having a “standard beat” in Haunted Bossa Nova. This is a reference to how several tracks seem to use the same basic feel with new music layered over it. While I am not necessarily opposed to the idea, I do wish they had somehow been able to swap some tracks from Creepxotica EP with ones from this album so there would be a little more variety. This happens around the middles of the album, so the later tracks make up for it. But this might not be an issue for many listeners since this is the age of listening to random tracks and homemade mix compilations. Especially if said mixes utilize tracks from both Creepxotica releases. I only bring this up because I’m wild about Creepxotica’s fusion of exotica and surf music and hope they avoid the issues in future releases. Speaking of which, there’s a new live album from Creepxotica out now! But don’t head over to Amazon or iTunes just yet, because it’s available exclusively through Belly Up Live! Keep an eye on these guys. I know I certainly will! And I swear it’s not because of their NSFW album covers…

Special thanks to Creepxotica for use of the image!

Aug 25 2014

SJTV: Rock the Vote

I don’t watch a lot of television, especially compared to what I used to. My teenage self is envious of my adult self, because if fifteen-year-old Strange Jason had access to Netflix and Hulu and all these other troves of shows and content, he would be in heaven. He would not be going outside AT ALL. But fifteen year old me had a lot more free time on his hands than I currently have, so a lot of new and old television shows have just passed on by. I haven’t watched a single American Horror Story or checked into Bates Motel. I’ve given advertisements for Hemlock Grove, Penny Dreadful and The Strain an ambivalent shrug. I know of certain Twilight Zone and Outer Limits episodes, but mainly due to the day-long marathons some cable channels run during those holidays when I’m visiting my family.

I figure it’s time to 1) start writing back here again 2) watch some television I missed 3) write some commentary on these shows. What I watch is up to you. Pick an option down below and sometime in September/October, the first entries in the season will start to pop up.

The choices are Tales From The Crypt, The Outer Limits, Kolchak, American Horror Story and Masters of Horror. As you can see, most of these are anthologies so it means each viewing offers a different experience. I’ll randomly pick a season of the winning entry unless it’s Kolchack, which I’ll just start from the beginning. If none of these entries are suitable, pick SOMETHING ELSE and leave a comment. If the Outer Limits gets picked, I’ll flip a coin if the season I watch comes from the original run or the mid-90s series.

Why these? No reason. I’d pick something current except everyone and their mother has an opinion about The Walking Dead, Hannibal, True Blood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The X-Files. And I do not have the commitment level to start Supernatural. Seriously – those fans are a special breed of hardcore that inspire both my fear and my respect. I’ll run the poll for two weeks until September 7th and I’ll then reacquaint myself with an old friend called television.

Edit: POLL CLOSED! 

Aug 22 2014

The 6′+ Summer Special is Up!

2013 Logo IconTo quote the description given at the new listing:

“Strange Jason is still on vacation (or whatever he’s calling it.) In honor of H.P. Lovecraft’s birthday this week, we’ll put up this formerly NecronomiCon 2013 exclusive episode for one week only. It’s got music from Zombeast, White Flag, Alex K. Redfearn and the Eyesores and more.”

Remember to email 6′+ (contact at 6ftplus.com) or leave a comment below about the show, whether you liked it or not. Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes, but above all – enjoy.

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes, Stitcher and Spreaker. They’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

Aug 21 2014

Movie Review: Mesa of Lost Women (1953)


Mesa_of_lost_women

Zombos Says: Poor (but hilarity abounds)

Leering dwarf faces keep intercutting at inappropriate times, producing an effect not unlike the subliminals in Terror in the Haunted House. The spider women, with the notable exception of Tarantella, all dress like extras in She. Adding to the Woodian confusion, if you look quickly enough, you will see Mona McKinnon (Plan 9) and Dolores Fuller (Glen or Glenda?, Jailbait) among them. (Bad Movie Report)

There are movies that act like ridicule magnets. Anyone who has watched enough television or eaten too much popcorn at the cinema can easily name at least one special instance of ignominy felt from being spectator to a cinematic catastrophe, or feeling resentful from having time, better spent elsewhere, sinfully squandered and ticket money regrettably wasted.

Then again, there are people like our neighbor, Paul Hollstenwall.

“Wasn’t that a hoot,” said Paul, pulling up the collar of his raincoat and pulling down the brim of his hat.

No, wait a minute, I was only imagining he was standing in front of a sleazy theater. I adjusted my mental eyesight better. After watching the movie he brought over, Ron Ormand’s Mesa of Lost Women, I needed to do a lot of adjustment. We were in Zombos’ library and Paul was sitting on my left, dressed in his usual brown tweed sport coat, faded jeans, and worn Pumas. Zombos was sitting on my right and—wait, where’d he get off to?

“More like a howler,” I told Paul. “I’m not sure what jarring close-ups of leering dwarves, non-speaking hoochie cooch-dressed women, and a hairy spider with eight legs that doesn’t move them–the legs I mean–much, has to do with the title. No, wait, come to think of it, just about everybody was lost most of the time, including me and Jackie Coogan as the mad scientist Dr. Aranya, hanging out in a cave and doing what I’m still not sure of.”

“He was mutating spiders into giants and mutating women with his spider venom,” supplied Paul.

“Why? And why were those women and dwarves constantly underfoot? It doesn’t make sense.”

“He’s a mad scientist. What’s to make sense? Don’t they always mutate, create, or destroy things in horror and sci-fi movies? Because they’re crazy, I mean. The movie’s definitely a double-biller for a drive-in, so adding some feminine pulchritude kept eyes peeled on the screen more than Aranya or loopy Dr. Masterson (Harmon Stevens) would have.

Paul had a point. And he actually used the word pulchritude in a sentence.

“What surprises me is how good the cinematography is compared to the rest,” I said.

“That is because the directors of photography were too good for this dreck,” said Zombos, entering the library. “Ice cold mint juleps should be arriving just about…now.”

The bell on the library’s dumbwaiter buzzed. I headed over and extracted the drinks. Chef Machiavelli’s mint juleps would have even satisfied Tennessee Williams.

“The photography,” continued Zombos, “was done by Karl Struss and Gilbert Warrenton. More than adequate for this otherwise incompetent opus." He took the glass I handed to him and sat down on my right. "All that desert photography made me thirsty.” He took a sip then continued.

"Judicious use of dissolves, wipes, and recall the first meeting between Dr. Masterson and Aranya in the cave laboratory. That set was the size of a walk-in closet. Yet look at how they moved our view left to right, from in front of the lone lab table. It gave depth and liveliness to a tight and narrow space."

"Shame they couldn't clip the cantina scene with Tarantella (Tandra Quinn) doing her endless tarantella," I quipped.

"No!" Paul said. "She's so dark and mysterious. Don't forget she's really a spiderized woman."

"Well, she certainly had the legs for it, even if only two of them. Now, maybe you can tell me what Masterson going all loopy and weird was about?"

"He goes dopey after Aranya injects him with a drug," said Paul, "to stop him from interfering with Aranya's nefarious work—"

"—Making dwarves and spiderized woman. Okay then, what about the cantina scene? He shows up, sits down with a couple of perfect strangers, watches Tarantella dance—how'd she get there in the first place?—and dance. And dance some more. Said spiderwoman glares at him while he talks to the couple, a man and woman who don't know him from Adam. And he talks, and talks some more. And then they leave the cantina. He insists on them all taking a plane ride, with a little persuasion from his gun, the plane engine catches fire and conveniently they all crash land on Aranya's mesa." I stopped to take a breadth.

"Did you notice how the pilot did not turn his steering wheel at all during the flight," said Zombos. “He must have graduated from the Plan 9 school of method acting."

I continued. "Now they're all on the mesa, along with that giant spider that doesn't move much, and assorted dwarves and pretty women who stand around like a chorus in a Greek tragedy, only they don't say a word. We even see them, most of the time, standing a scant few feet away from everyone else, but everyone else doesn't see them at all. Then Wu, the token Chinese guy, buys it in the woods. Of course he has to mutter a proverb or two before getting killed about being killed, which is why they needed him in the first place I guess. And I think the mesa set was even smaller than the lab." 

"Indeed," added Zombos. "When the pilot takes out his penlight to light the way through the woods, everyone keeps moving back and forth through the same narrow path, holding hands."

"Then more close-ups of grinning dwarves and pretty women ensemble standing around an
arm's length away while the pilot and the woman from the cantina hit it off by the campfire. Out of the blue he's telling her what kind of woman he likes and they kiss." 

"At least much humor ensues with one fellow jumping TOWARD the nearly comatose giant spider when he sees it, and let us not forget the effusive potential for derisive commentary throughout," said Zombos.

"So," I summed up, "we've got a music score that runs rampant from the get-go, ignoring the action on screen much of the time, a confusing triple bypass flashback going on between characters to tell an already incoherent story, and a crummy script that opens up a world of mirth in the viewing, not to mention some bizarre scene cutting and papier mache mise-en-scène. Oh, and I shouldn't forget the ponderous Criswell-styled narration to aid in our understanding of this nonsense."

"And deliciously potent mint juleps to make it all go down agreeably," said Paul.

We all drank to that.  

This article originally appeared at Zombos’ Closet of Horrors.

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 License.

Aug 19 2014

Freaky Tiki Surf-ari: The Tsultry Tsounds of Go!Tsunami

Go!Tsunami
Official Facebook
The Tsultry Tsounds of Go!Tsunami, Deep Eddy Records 2013

Some of the failed auditions for the Freaky Tiki Surf-ari logo.

What can I say about Go!Tsunami that I haven’t already said in my first review of their work? As you may have guessed, this means I love the band and their follow-up to 2009’s New Wave Order is awesome. Let’s look at how I came to that conclusion:

“Tabonga!” is a name any fan of bad movies should recognize. Not only is it a reference to From Hell It Came, but the track even starts off with a sample from the film. There’s plenty of rockin’ guitars and soft, often (but not always) eerie organ work. Speaking of references, “Bad Day At Diamond Head” is named for the famous Hawaiian volcanic cone. Although things quickly pick up after the somewhat mournful guitar opening, the track’s overall serious tone remains the same (even when it goes from mournful to suspenseful). A sample of sirens and a call to dive kick off “Depth Change,” whose rollicking drums and guitars make for an exciting listening experience. The low key opening of “Siren Song” quickly revs up to give the listener a very catchy tune. There’s also a vaguely “Middle Eastern” feel at times. “Come in Xb-13″ has a spacy opening and repeated calls of “Come in Xb-13.” I thought this was going to be about spies at first, but it appears to be a reference to a type of bomber plane. Which is appropriate since the guitars and drums really take off in this!

“Matador’s Revenge” offers a great combination of guitars and organ work. In addition to its overall Latin vibe, the closing has a classic surf feel to it. The soft and low key opening in “Cove of the Blind Fisherman” sets the pace for its relaxed and soothing feel. “Spies from Space” features fast paced and exciting guitar work backed by organs, along with the obligatory space sounds. There’s also an amazing guitar interlude and an overall sense of both intrigue and adventure. The circus music at the end flows nicely into the jaunty surf tune “Mole Men On the Midway,” “Return to the Cove” is quite the surprise due to its heavy use of Spanish guitar and whistling! But said surprise is a pleasant one, so I have no complaints. Although primarily a surf band, Go!Tsunami always has a Tiki shout-out. This album’s is called “The Moai Stomp” and it’s fast paced and heavy surf easily makes it one of my favorite tracks.

There are some people put there who argue a band’s follow-up album will never be as good as their first. The Tsultry Tsounds of Go!Tsunami is proof those people are wrong. The CD-R is also notable for being the last time Go!Tsunami member “The Fury” performed on an album. Although he has since parted ways with the band, the drum duties are now handled by one “Mr. Tentacles.” I look forward to hearing his work with the band. It’s been said they have been playing a new song called “Cthulhu Beach Party” at live events, so I doubt we’ll be waiting a long time for a new release.

Special thanks to Go!Tsunami for the review copy!

Aug 15 2014

6′+ Episode 118 is Up!

2013 Logo IconTo quote the description given at the new listing:

“Monstermatt Patterson has taken control of the program! With Strange Jason still missing, listen to the Man of a Thousand Bad Monster Jokes play some classic ha-ha-horror songs from Screamin’ Lord Sutch, The Ghouls, Gene Moss, Elvira, Tomb Dragomir and more!”

Remember to email 6′+ (contact at 6ftplus.com) or leave a comment below about the show, whether you liked it or not. Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes, but above all – enjoy.

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes, Stitcher and Spreaker. They’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

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