Jan 18 2017

The Autopsies, ‘A Memoir From The Morgue’

The Autopsies A Memoir From The Morgue

The Autopsies
A Memoir From The Morgue
Killyjoy Records 2016 — CLICK HERE TO BUY

A Side – “Autopsy” / “Rumble”
B Side – “Roswell”

Psychobilly has always been best when it is served with a beer and a healthy dose of fun. There’s plenty of fun on A Memoir From The Morgue, the 7” release from THE AUTOPSIES. Another gem from Killjoy Records, this is a three song happy hour that’s two parts formaldehyde, one part radioactive material from Area 51, topped with a lemon and served with a smile.

Hailing from Los Angeles, this three-piece is a highly efficient machine, one that doesn’t waste any bit of their sound. Edgar’s drumming and Jonny’s bass create the deep heartbeat that’s perfect for guitarists Brandon’s six-strings, which sound like they’re sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel. The instrumental “Rumble” gives every member a moment to shine and the song itself is a tasty chaser after the mortuary love-song, “Autopsy.” Here’s hoping they include more instros in their next releases.

The B-Side the soundtrack to an unplanned detour through some restricted New Mexico desert, perhaps on the way to a gig in Las Vegas or back home to LA. “Roswell” is a fast-paced trip, like the best monster movies from a 1950’s drive-in. Brandon’s vocals vary from guttural howl to velvet crooner, and while every psychobilly frontman needs the former in his back pocket, the songs really come to life when he switches to the latter.

Ultimately, A Memoir From The Morgue is a fun success. It introduces the band, hints at the exciting potential of what’s to come and leaves you wanting more. Any psycho, horror punk or demented weirdo will want to get a copy for their own home dissection. Definitely recommended. Get your copy soon, as they’re only around for a limited time only.

 

 

Jan 14 2017

TGIF13: 6’+ Episode 199 is Up!

2013 Logo IconTo quote the description given at the new listing:

“It may no longer be Friday the 13th, but there’s plenty of horror bleeding over into Saturday. So, become the gory weekend warrior with tracks from THE JASONS, THIRTEEN SHOTS, BLACK BASS, KILLER BARBIES and more. Monstermatt Matterson wonders who EXACTLY is behind the mask and the results are almost as shocking as the MONSTERMATT MINUTE. Plus, Kraig Khaos shows what he can do with a machete with another edition of KILLER KUTS.”

Remember to email 6′+ (contact at 6ftplus.com) or leave a comment below about the show, whether you liked it or not. Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes, but above all – enjoy.

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes and Stitcher. They’re also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Jan 13 2017

TGIF13 VII: Jason Burgers

Remember the “2 for 1 Burger Sale” scene from Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday with those hockey mask hamburger patties? I tried making one on two separate occasions and my patties always broke apart when I tried flipping them over! Maybe this was why the movie only showed them prior to their being cooked? To find out, I searched to see how others fared in making their own Jason Voorhees burgers.

ThisMayOrMayNotBeSatire made a veggie burger with the cheese and toppings forming the iconic mask:

Similarly, Nightmare Nerd tried another method of making a cheese mask on a bison burger:

But only MovieNerdSports tried to make a mask-shaped hamburger patty like they did in the movie:

He doesn’t show the finished product, but claims it doesn’t look as good once you cook it. This claim is backed by the cooking footage, so I’m not going to automatically assume his patty broke like mine did. Hopefully he’ll try again in the future so this can be determined once and for all.

Jan 04 2017

6’+ Episode 198 is Up!

2013 Logo IconTo quote the description given at the new listing:

“2016 refuses to die, so in the first episode of 2017, we drive a stake through its heart and party like there’s no tomorrow. Celebrate the brand new year with music from THE PINE BOX BOYS, THE BRICKBATS, THE RAZORBLADES, MADD BLAKE & LOS STALINS and more. Will Monstermatt Patterson dress up as Baby New Year? Will Kraig Khaos lead the ball drop? Tune in and find out.”

Remember to email 6′+ (contact at 6ftplus.com) or leave a comment below about the show, whether you liked it or not. Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes, but above all – enjoy.

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes and Stitcher. They’re also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Dec 26 2016

Hanukkah Horror

I was originally going to discuss the slasher movie Hanukkah today, but there’s a problem. Its official Facebook page has been inactive for awhile and the teaser trailer is sadly no longer available online. It’s a shame, since there was a lot of interest in the project and its “Get Torahfied” tagline was hilarious. But all is not lost. Zachary Bellin put together his own (faux) trailer for a Hanukkah slasher film:

Yes, this was inspired by the Saturday Night Live character “Hanukkah Harry.”

Happy Chanukkah!

Dec 25 2016

The Pumpkin Dance: Christmas Edition

First I shared the original “Pumpkin Dance” video. Then I jumped ahead and shared the Valentine’s Day-themed sequel. Which is funny, since that particular video was actually the last of the trilogy. So let’s look at the Christmas-themed first sequel as uploaded by KXVO 10:00 News:

Here’s hoping we’ll be seeing more installments in this series in the future.

Merry Christmas!

Dec 24 2016

6’+ Episode 197 is Up!

2013 Logo IconTo quote the description given at the new listing:

“It’s never too late to get into the holiday spirit — either to celebrate it or to shout “Bah Humbug.” Before the big day comes, Six Foot Plus gets some Christmas music (with a shout out to Hanukkah) with BLOODSUCKING ZOMBIES FROM OUTER SPACE, ANGRY SNOWMANS and more. Plus, one of Santa’s least wanted helpers, Monstermatt Patterson, gives you a gift in another MONSTERMATT MINUTE.”

Remember to email 6′+ (contact at 6ftplus.com) or leave a comment below about the show, whether you liked it or not. Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes, but above all – enjoy.

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes and Stitcher. They’re also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Dec 24 2016

Christma(dnes)s VII

wintergraveyard

It may have taken me longer than usual to assemble this year’s selection of frightfully festive fun, but I think the sheer volume of material I dug up was worth it. After all, why should I just focus on the Phantasm ornament or the “Krampus in the Corner” when there’s so much more out there? I’m really excited about this this first one. Remember the restored Santa Claus Conquers The Martians pressbook article from a few years back? Well, the full Santa Claus Conquers The Martians pressbook is now online and has oddities like a coloring sheet and guidelines for the “Martian Santa Soda!”

If you crave recipes for creepy Christmas fare, fear not! Home For Halloween has recipes for “Halloween Hot Cocoa,” “Night Owl’s Favorite Gingerbread” and “Bloody Winter Fudge.” I also found recipes for “Grinch Kabobs,” Krampus-approved “Coal Cookies” and the amazing “Jack Skellington Cheese Ball.” Speaking of food, remember Haunted Hotsauce? Now they’re called “Halloween Hotsauce” and have some “Krampus Hot Sauce” that’s perfect for kicking up savory holiday meals.

But that’s not the only thing I can vaguely connect to that particular pressbook! How about some free music? There’s “Robotic Christmas Tree” by the Amoeba People, “Christmas in Space” by Loop Line and “Is it Christmas on Venus?” by the Blue Giant Zeta Puppies.

Sam Haynes added some new tracks to The Gift of Christmas Fear and he’s not the only musician offering full albums of spooky and disturbing holiday hits! The Havana Snowbirds have A Very Creepy Christmas, Pumpkin Buzzard is offering Happy Holidays and Insect Posse takes us Home For The Holidays. Although you can download Venus de Vilo’s “Santa’s Slay,” “Mistletoetag” and “The Nightmare Before Christmassacre” for free on SoundCloud, buying them as an album on Bandcamp will let you snag some other ghastly gifts.

While we’re on the subject of downloading individual tracks: YYAAMM has “Grüße an Krampus!!” (it means “Greetings to Krampus!!”), Kieran Strange wishes us a “Merry Undead Christmas,” Vagabondage is having a “Zombie Xmas,” which is not to be confused with David Watson’s “Zombie Christmas,” Mike Pritchard is annoyed how “Christmas Threw Up on Halloween,” Kevin Schatz pleads “Santa Save Halloween,” and Spiral pays tribute to a specific kind of greeting card called “KrampusKarten.” Similarly, Angellis Taliuu offers “We Wish You A Zombie Christmas,” Cthulhu Martini tells the tale of “Silent Night Deadly Night,” Tom Smith lightens the mood with “A Pirate Christmas,” World of Fright notes how “It’s Bloody Christmas,” Silver Louzy pits “Xmas Vs. Halloween,” the Dollyrots belt out “I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus” while Josef Nadek is sharing both “H.P. Lovecraft’s Yule Horror” and “A Yule-rite, older than man and fated to survive him.” UPDATE: It turns out the free download of David Watson’s “Zombie Christmas” was a limited time offer and is sadly now unavailable.

But what about those who desire some spoken word material? Will Hessler’s hilariously profane “Christmas Begins At Target 8​:​30 Halloween Night” might be more satisfying than music. The Wicked Library has several Christmas specials featuring tales of terror available for download. If you prefer streaming stories, Mike Arnzen’s short “Little Stocking Stuffers” is contrasted nicely by Astro Al’s lengthy “Merry Black Mass” and “A Victorian Christmas Ghost Story.”

Since reading ghost stories is a Christmas tradition in England, you can curl up with William Meikle’s “The Yule Log,” followed by E. F. Benson’s “Between the Lights” “The Other Bed” also has a mild Christmas connection.

While we’re on Google Books, let’s look at the lyrics to “Pumpkin Bells,” learn how to make crêpe paper moss that’s perfect for a fake swamp or Christmas party (seriously) and behold the insanity of “Nutcracker Kills The Squirrel.”

Now comes the time for my annual trip to Amazon. While there I came across a horror-centric audio version of A Christmas Carol and a Christmas sound effects album which blatantly reuses altered tracks from a scary sounds album. You can listen for yourself if you don’t believe me! There’s also books like Santa’s Claws, Happy Halloween, Li’L Santa, The Fright Before Christmas, The Old Magic of Christmas: Yuletide Traditions for the Darkest Days of the Year, Haunted Christmas: Yuletide Ghosts and Other Spooky Holiday Happenings and The Krampus and the Old, Dark Christmas: Roots and Rebirth of the Folkloric Devil. The amount of Krampus merchandise has exploded over the last few years. There’s masks, leggings, figurines, candy canes, drinking glasses and even a Krampus tree topper!

Don’t forget to support small businesses! Monolith Graphics has some beautiful new Christmas cards and Dead Rose Symphony has a new release called Christmas Mourning. Moving on to the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society’s online store, we have a Cthulhu tree topper, Cthulhu ornament, a holiday gift bag, Christmas audio drama and various combo deals featuring other cool Christmas stuff.

Speaking of Lovecraft, why trim a tree when you can decorate a giant tentacle? You can even use some papercraft shrunken heads as ornaments. Don’t fret about making Christmas too scary for Santa, as that right jolly old elf has a section of his blog devoted to Halloween!

Our last leg of this year’s journey takes us to the Island of Misfit Links. Platypus Comix tells the tale of a Halloween special which was accidentally shown as a Christmas special, Flying Frog Productions has a free downloadable Krampus card for use with the board game A Touch of Evil and MechaGodzilla Jr. spends Christmas on Monster Island. Finally comes both the naughty and nice episodes of our podcast’s 2015 holiday celebration. Enjoy!

Dec 08 2016

An Octopus That Never Lived

"In the Movies They Do It."  What?  Why Build Deep Sea Monsters to Order.  This Monster Octopus Never Lived, Yet Thousands of Photoplay Fans Have Seen the Battle Between the Terror of the Deep and a Man, and Could Have Sworn That it Was a Real Honest-to-Goodness Octopus.  Comprest Air, Admitted to or Released from the Canvas Tentacles, Caused Them To Curl Up In That Creepy Fashion That Makes You Shiver.  Electric Lights Helped to Illuminate the Scene Under Water, While Telephone Orders Could be Given to the Man Inside the Octopus.  The Photographer was Located in a Water-Tight Tube in the Manner Shown.  A Self-Contained Diving Suit Was Worn by the Man in the Octopus.

“In the Movies They Do It.” What? Why Build Deep Sea Monsters to Order. This Monster Octopus Never Lived, Yet Thousands of Photoplay Fans Have Seen the Battle Between the Terror of the Deep and a Man, and Could Have Sworn That it Was a Real Honest-to-Goodness Octopus. Comprest Air, Admitted to or Released from the Canvas Tentacles, Caused Them To Curl Up In That Creepy Fashion That Makes You Shiver. Electric Lights Helped to Illuminate the Scene Under Water, While Telephone Orders Could be Given to the Man Inside the Octopus. The Photographer was Located in a Water-Tight Tube in the Manner Shown. A Self-Contained Diving Suit Was Worn by the Man in the Octopus.

Possibly you were fortunate enough to have witnest the famous motion picture taken under the sea, in which a man fights a battle with a terrifying octopus, or devil-fish. If you did see this picture, you were undoubtedly puzzled as to how this undersea battle was actually staged in photographing the scene. The interesting details of how the uncanny and lifelike movements of the long slashing tentacles of the octopus were produced, are given in a patent recently issued to John Ernest Williamson. The arrangement of the machinery used in producing this remarkable undersea picture, is shown clearly in the accompanying illustration.

To start with, the motion pictures were taken with an ordinary movie camera placed in a watertight compartment at the bottom of the tube shown in the picture. The compartment containing the movie camera, the photographer, and the director, was left open to the air, and as the tube was watertight at the bottom and along its entire length, the men at the bottom of the tube received plenty of fresh air at all times. Electric light and telephone wires were led down into the photography room, orders being given by telephone when necessary to Mr. Octopus—who was personified by none other than a full-grown man, who had carefully studied the movements of this particular undersea cephalopod—so that, by varying the amount of comprest air forced into the hollow, flexible tentacles, very realistic movements of the latter were effected.

The man who sat inside the body of this made-to-order octopus was equipt with one of the new style self-contained diving suits, which are fitted with the necessary oxygen and other tanks, and carried on the back, so that no rubber tubes for supplying air, etc., were necessary so far as he was concerned. Two small sized rubber tubes were led from the body of this pseudo-octopus to the surface of the water, where one of the tubes connected with a motor-driven air compressor; while the other was simply secured to a length of pipe open to the atmosphere, so as to serve as an exhaust.

The central body shell of this awesome looking devil-fish was built in two parts hinged together, so that the operator could easily enter or leave it. Owing to the arrangement described, and by utilizing the self-contained diving suit, no air bubbles escaped from the octopus during the taking of the scenes, which might have aroused strong suspicion among many people who viewed the picture, that the whole affair was artificially produced and not the real thing. Since the central shell or body is formed with an open bottom, there is no material pocketing of air within the shell, thus practically eliminating any buoyancy of the shell and permitting it to retain its position on the sea bottom without employing any heavy weight to hold it there. This central body shell is fitted as can be seen, with a number of flexible members made to resemble the actual tentacles of an octopus, hollow suction cups and all, while the most realistic illusion imaginable was evolved by the sinuous and squirming movements of these tentacles, particularly by the curling of the outer end portions thereof. Of course, if these various tentacle movements followed each other in any particular cycle or direction, the audience would quickly notice it, and the natural effect so desired by the producers would have been jeopardized, but owing to the highly ingenious method devised for building the tentacles with springs, chains and multiple tubes, coupled with the irregular impulses of comprest air applied, the illusion was perfect.

When the air valves were opened to different degrees the successive tentacles about the body would expand, and coil around in a realistic manner. When the operator wisht to cause a tentacle to straighten out, the comprest air was applied to this particular tentacle or group of tentacles; he allowed the air in them to escape upward thru the rubber exhaust tube to the surface; in this way no undesirable air bubbles were liberated, which would tend to spoil the illusion as we have already explained. As may be surmised, the inventor mentions in his patent describing this unusual sea monster, that his ideas can be applied to the building of sea serpents and other strange animals.

The detailed construction of the mechanical tentacles is shown in one of the illustrations herewith. The spring maintains the canvas covers expanded cross-sectionally, preserving the proper contour and yet permitting substantial freedom of movement of the tentacle under the action of varying air pressures produced in the casing. The inner tube forms a collapsible air chamber which, by virtue of its shape, will cause movement of the tentacle against the resistance of the tapered steel spring shown, when air is introduced into the tube; the degree of the movement is dependent to a greater or less extent upon the amount of air which is fed into it. The inner bag or sack, being within the casing, moves with the latter under the action of the steel spring. The spiral spring having a shape corresponding with that of the canvas casings, provides a light form or shape for retaining these casings expanded cross-sectionally, but owing to its coil-like form, this spring permits comparatively free movement of the outer end.

Thus it is seen that by varying the pressure and amount of air in the bag or sack, the difference in value of the air pressure as compared to the spring pressure, can be varied and the movements of the tentacle are thus controlled to a greater or less extent. The purpose of the metal chain, which has links of constantly decreasing size toward the outer end, is to counteract by its weight, the effect of buoyancy when the tentacle tube is inflated.

[This post is based around an article included in the October 1921 issue of Science and Invention (Volume 9, Issue 6). Although as much effort as possible was put into preserving the article as it originally appeared, some aspects of the layout were impossible to replicate. To see the original, head on over to Google Books. While you’re there, you can also read up on how the studio tried passing it off as an actual octopus and how this eventually led to a lawsuit. Be sure to check out what the octopus actually looked like!]

Nov 29 2016

6’+ Episode 196 is Up!

2013 Logo IconTo quote the description given at the new listing:

“It’s time to grin and bear it — as Six Foot Plus comes back from the dead with an episode that will leave you smiling from ear to ear. Or not. Strange Jason delivers a soliloquy on the severity of a smile, while Monstter Matt Patterson leaves his victims chuckling with a MONSTERMATT MINUTE. Kraig Khaos gives everyone a real reason to beam brightly with another KILLER KUT. All this and horror rock music from X RAY CAT TRIO, BEAT DEVILS, THE TSUNAMIBOTS and more.”

Remember to email 6′+ (contact at 6ftplus.com) or leave a comment below about the show, whether you liked it or not. Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes, but above all – enjoy.

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes and Stitcher. They’re also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Nov 24 2016

A Fangsgiving Comic

fangsgivingcomic

The above comic by Elmer Andrews Bushnell originally appeared with the caption “The Spirits of Halloween Are Abroad” when it was published in the Cincinnati Times-Star and Cartoons Magazine. Sadly, the text looked too awful to use when I tried posting a direct scan of it.

Although Cartoons Magazine included it in their “Golden October” section, I think the use of “abroad” implies the action of the comic is happening in a different month. It’s hard to say, given how Halloween traditions and November were often mixed together in those days. I hope to have an article ready this time next year which looks at the reasons for this. But until then…

Happy Thanksgiving!

Nov 08 2016

Movie Review: The Grapes of Death (1978) Les Raisins De La Mort

Grapes_of_death_poster_02Zombos Says:
Have a glass of wine instead.

Seriously, have a glass or two of wine instead of seeing this movie. French directors (that would be Jean Rollin in this case) often have trouble handling the subtleties of horror and science fiction; namely that there are no subtleties.

Instead of a clean and clear message delivered through visual and visceral tension and terror, they'll pause the camera on a scene until it's threadbare, insist their characters prattle on and on with soul-searching ruminations, and then have them make interminable philosophical arguments about their predicament, stalling everyone in place while the pace unfolding around them screams for celerity and action. Of course, when you get to movies like In My Skin, the scale tips well past the clean and clear measure and goes sailing out the window, but that's another discussion entirely. Just recall Alien: Resurrection and you will get my drift.

Here are my review notes in lieu of a more polished review. This movie is simply not worth more of my time or effort beyond compelling you, with sufficient information, to make your own judgement on whether to watch it or not. But if you watch it your crazy. 

Review Notes for The Grapes of Death:

(Misc. Notes: Interesting, the IMdB lists a 6.2 rating on this. Wonder what their reviewers are smoking. Wait, they even rate 6.3 for Alien: Resurrection. Must be good stuff. Don't forget to mention the poster art comes from drfreex.com).

Opening beat on worker being overcome from pesticide used on wine grapes. Told to suck it up and get back to work. He does. Foreshadowing trouble to come. Next opening beat on two young woman traveling on empty train to countryside. They are friends. They talk a lot. Comment on how freaky it is traveling with no one else aboard (aside from the conductor, I guess). No attendants, either (budget saver). They stop at one village. Silent guy boards train. What's wrong with him? He's leering. Right. He's infected. Silent, now violent, guy kills one girl, goes to sit in the car with the other.

Takes a long time for Elizabeth (Marie-Georges Pascal) to notice he's the silent, leering, crazy type. He starts oozing–what the hell, is that grape juice? Cheesy effects here we come. Great. Finally she gets the message. She runs to find her friend. Finds her mauled to death in the loo (could get fancy here and say train de salle de bains). Elizabeth stops train and runs away.

And keeps running for a long while.

(Note: drawn out sequence here; too much time between  beats. French directors do that a lot. Unless it's about chocolate, food, or sex, they can't handle down time well.) Good cinematography of countryside (or is it good countryside lends itself to photography?)

She enters cottage, sees man and woman by the dinner table, pleads with them to help her, must call the police, etc. She's hysterical, yelling, she needs to phone cops, he pores a glass of wine for her. Woman standing by him is immobile. What's up? Oh, right, the guy has some creepy looking plastic makeup on his–I mean rotting flesh–showing. He's infected, too.

Extreme, and unnecessary, close ups splice back and forth between her face and their's. She's told to calm down and stay, rest awhile. Sure. She heads upstairs to find a comfy bed. Conveniently open door leads to finding a body in a room. She pulls the sheet away, finds woman with throat cut open. Guy's daughter tells Elizabeth he's insane, killed mom. Right. Kind of caught that before she headed upstairs. Erratic beat here. Can we get on with it? Every scene is lingered over too much, ruining the pacing. Were we that obtuse in 1978?

Finally, he acts violently and kills his daughter with a pitchfork. He makes sure to rip open her blouse first to show her ample breasts. Country living I suspect. She was also infected. Interesting. So story point is men and women are infected differently. Also explains why he didn't kill his daughter before then. Only kills her now because she's helping Elizabeth escape?

But then he regrets killing his family. Elizabeth runs for it. To the car. He stops in front of the car and insists she finish him off. She does, after thinking it over. A lot. She rams the dinky car into him. (Note: dinky cars ramming into people is unintentionally funny.) She drives around. Comes across another crazy guy, stops long enough for him to thump his head through her side window again and again and again. Long take closeup of his rubber appliance–I mean weeping sores from his infection. She shoots him dead. (Crap, where'd she pick up the gun(?). It had to be in the farmhouse she drove away from. How'd I miss it? After crashing his head into her side window the dinky car won't start. Sure, that makes sense.

She's on foot again and walking around (no budget for gas?). And walking around a lot (before the next beat kicks in.) Wait, now she's running. Waiting for that damn beat!

A twig snaps, she pulls out her gun, a woman comes stumbling towards her, arms outstretched in front. The woman is blind. Seems okay and not infected. Lucie (Mirella Rancelot) has been going around and around since the morning. Elizabeth and Lucie now stroll toward the village, chatting, arm in arm. They take the long way around.

(Finally, the next beat kicks in. This movie screams "edit me!")

They come across a dead guy, then a lot of dead guys. Lots of time spent walking through the carnage of dead guys. Lucie keeps insisting on knowing what's happened. Elizabeth doesn't tell her. Not sure why. Lucie starts screaming "Luca," looking for him, but then they're walking again.

(Note: I don't think there was this much walking in the Lord of the Rings movies, combined.)

Both women hugging each other now as they walk. Finally, they find Lucie's house. Where's Lucas (Paul Bisciglia)?  If Lucie pores a glass of wine for Elizabeth I'm going to–wait, Lucas shows up, not looking too good. More infected people show up. They're not looking so good, either. Whole village must be wine drinkers. Lucie stumbles off on her own, Elizabeth pulls out her gun and loads it. (Wait. Where'd she get more bullets? Crap! I thought I was paying attention.)

Lucie, now walking, with villagers descending on her. Pretty creepy scene. She keeps calling for Lucas. More close-ups of zombiefied faces. Lucie tells them to go away, thinking they're there to make fun of her. They don't (go away or make fun of her). She starts walking again, through them.

Let's see how long this takes before the next beat kicks in. Rollin's going for a record here, I know it.

Lucas finds her. He's all weird, starts drooling and laughing. And promptly strangles her with a rope as the villagers watch. Lucie's screams don't prompt much urgency from Elizabeth. She does manage to shoot one villager, though, then finds Lucie nailed, topless of course, to a farmhouse door.

Lucas brandishes axe. Really bad special effect of Lucie's fake head being chopped off her blatantly obvious dummy body ensues–in close-ups, and Lucas carries the head around by its long hair. (Note: Wait a mo, when did Romero do The Crazies? Right, 1973. Rollin must have seen it. This whole rabid village thing is a lot like The Crazies in spirit.)

Lucas chases Elizabeth, head in hand. Villagers stagger after them. She runs away. Again. Then she's pulled into a house by a blond bombshell. (Note: It's Brigitte Lahaie the porn actress!) They sit on a couch and chat away. Lahaie pores Elizabeth a drink, too. Can't beat that country hospitality.

And they chat some more.

We are told the house's owners are dead, but she had the key, so the house is hers now. Good foreshadowing as to who may have killed them. Really subtle. Hint, hint. Lahaie says the villagers try to get in every night but they can't (that scenario sounds familiar? –yes, Vincent' Price's The Last Man on Earth). Then she changes clothes so they can go out to find safety. Say what? If the villagers can't get in, they were safe inside weren't they?

And Lahaie's acting pretty weird; enough to connect the dots for us, but Elizabeth remains clueless. I sense more running in her future.

Lahaie tricks Elizabeth and the villagers come around. Wow, didn't see that coming. More close-ups of badly made up infected faces. Lots of prolonged hysterics. Lots of villagers-mingling-around shots to fill time between beats.

La grande femme blonde (as Brigitte "Lahaye" is noted in the credits) soon carries a large torch and holds onto two mean-looking dogs (so what's Rollin implying here?). More annoying closeups fill time until two guys can drive up in their truck with rifles and dynamite. 

Yes! –I mean, of course Rollin has her disrobe to show the two guys she's not infected. How could Rollin not let Lahaye (nee Lahaie) showcase her assets to the fullest?

More running ensues as Elizabeth escapes while the two guys get an eyeful. And more close-ups of faces ogling through their infections wastes camera time. Elizabeth returns with the torch, but not the dogs, gets too close to Lahaye, and they start fighting. The two guys almost shoot her, but realize she's not infected and Lahaye is the crazy one. Lahaye grabs the torch and blows up the truck and herself.

Which leaves us with the two guys and Elizabeth walking. Again.

(Note: mention the really annoyingly inappropriate score to this movie while they walk. A monkey with a zither could do better.)

Daylight. They pause for a long chatty rest. Continue walking, do some climbing, then chat some more about needing a pint of beer, realize they just missed the New Wine Festival (could definitely use the Song of the New Wine from Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man to liven this turkey up), argue over military bases and nuke plants, and politics (I swear to god this is torture to listen to), and who should carry the lone rifle they have. Obviously Elizabeth should, since she can shoot well and produce bullets when needed. And she looked like such a dainty little thing, too. Go figure.

They finally arrive at a farmhouse. One guy makes a phone call while the other plunders the larder and pulls out the food. Ah, French movies. The two guys drink wine (guess they missed the memo about the tainted wine?) and argue a lot, then agree to disagree. She leaves to stagger around outside. She staggers into the barn. Staggers up the barn stairs. Conveniently finds her friend, Lucien (Serge Marquand), hanging out in the barn. Seems a bit abrupt to have him just appear.

He's infected. They talk about it. He created the pesticide that's killing everybody. They talk about that. He's feeling equally guilty and homicidal. She gets closer to her boyfriend and hugs him, infected warts and all. Ah, the French and true love.

The two guys stop arguing and realize Elizabeth had left. They go looking for her. One of them shoots Lucien dead. She then shoots the two guys dead. One last, long, closeup of blood dripping onto her face as the credits roll. My guess is she became infected, too. The end.

Like I said, just open a bottle and have at it. Forget this one, unless you like smelly cheese with your wine.

This article originally appeared at From Zombos’ Closet.

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 License.

Oct 31 2016

6’+ Episode 195 (The 2016 Halloween Special) is Up!

2013 Logo IconTo quote the description given at the new listing:

“Happy Halloween! Strange Jason and the Intern go costume shopping, but only find something horrible is happening to all those buying a certain type of outfit. Throw in MONSTERMATT PATTERSON, IGOR, EK THE GHOUL (from PHANTOM CREEP RADIO) and KRAIG KHAOS (of Uncommon Interests) and things get downright frightening! There’s plenty of Halloween music to get you into the spirit of things so tune in and celebrate!”

Remember to email 6′+ (contact at 6ftplus.com) or leave a comment below about the show, whether you liked it or not. Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes, but above all – enjoy.

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes and Stitcher. They’re also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Oct 31 2016

Howie’s Haunted Halloween Nightmare

Remember that cartoon from a few years back that parts of the internet were raving about? The one with animation which payed homage to the style popularized in the 30’s? No, not Over the Garden Wall. The title of this article should have been a dead giveaway to what I’m talking about. All kidding aside, I completely missed out on showing you all Howie’s Haunted Halloween Nightmare and it’s high time I made things right. So here it is, direct from Ethan Black:

Mr. Black created this as part of a school project and took him eight months to complete! But he didn’t just copy the animation style of classic cartoons and call it a day. The setup, gags and ending will please any animation aficionado familiar with the cartoons of the period. It even went the extra mile of being based around a (then) popular song. In this case, it’s “Bogey Wail” by Jack Hylton and His Orchestra.

Happy Halloween!

Oct 30 2016

It Came From Wikipedia IX

Blood Bath has the most convoluted production history I have ever seen.

I had no idea “twilight zone” is an actual scientific term. If you think that’s interesting, wait until you see the sheer amount of authorized fiction associated with Twilight Zone and the 1994 TV movie Twilight Zone: Rod Serling’s Lost Classics.

Speaking of American horror television series, the movie House of Dark Shadows was originally going to be a feature length edit of several episodes from the series with some new footage thrown in for good measure!

A movie called Zadar! Cow From Hell actually exists. Need I say more?

This is probably going to be old news to some of you, but it’s worth repeating: There’s a movie pitting the ghost from The Ring against the spirit from The Grudge. Oh, and it also turns out Spike Lee did a remake of Ganja & Hess.

How have I gone so long without paying tribute to the legendary “Grave Digger” monster truck?

After you’re done reading up on all the video games based on Jaws, you can learn all about the Jaws board game.

There is a Wikipedia entry for the classic ThrillerVideo line of VHS releases. Awesome!

The story behind the creation of Varan the Unbelievable is truly fascinating. If you ever wondered by Varan is referred to as “Obaki” in it, you have to real this! Speaking of daikaiju, “Snapper” from Transformers: Beast Wars has a Gamera connection!

Wikipedia has lots of lists to browse through. In addition to the list of horror films, there’s also a category devoted to American horror films, a list of horror films by year, a list of films considered the worst and all the movies made by Full Moon.

Oct 29 2016

Tricks and Treats VII

lampshade

Wondering what this article’s illustration is supposed to represent? It’s a “Jack-o’-Lantern Lamp Shade” and it’s very easy to make if you want one for yourself.

Other fun vintage projects include the “Witch Wheel” (just be sure to use a light source that’s safer than candles) and little decorative pumpkins made from dough. “Cornstarch Play Dough,” to be specific.

For more modern Halloween projects, why not try making “Duct Tape Candy Corn Cuties,” or a black cat lawn decoration? These “Gory Hand Salad Tongs” make for a great way to serve candy and can be easily made with stuff found at your local dollar store.

Those craving more realistic fare will appreciate the tombstone templates available from Hedstorm Productions. Adding fake lichen to your tombstones will also add to the effect. If you want to use your finished project in a homemade horror movie, head over to wikiHow for some handy hints.

A “Spooky Floating Cheesecloth Ghost” can be as realistic or as cute as you want it to be. I have even seen people make life size and sitting versions of them! No matter what style you choose, I think we can agree it would go great coupled with a séance table.

Looking for fun paper projects? Dribbble is offering the “Wilbur the Worm and his Skull” puppet and Man Made DIY shows us how to fold an origami skeleton hand.

Amazon’s preview for Halloween Party Ghost Effects by Charlie Henley has instructions on how to turn your bathroom into a small haunted attraction!

Facebook has a printable The Black Scorpion mask and a Halloween bottle opener complete with a magnetic lid catcher!

YouTube and eBay both offer ways to get free foam for your prop projects and Scare Season has some great freebies available in addition to their haunted attraction reviews.

Finally, I want to point out how Head Injury Theater had a “Horror Alphabet” long before The ABCs of Death films ever got made.

Gravedigger’s Local 16 is not to be held responsible for the content on or anything that may occur (be it good or bad) as a result of visiting any links on those sites (or constructing a project that’s detailed on them). Attempt at your own discretion.

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