Mar 06 2012

Tuesday uEtsy: AngelQ Expressions

Tuesday uEtsy[For those who are searching for unique horror items, one can’t beat Etsy.com. Each Tuesday, Gravedigger’s Local 16 aims to highlight one seller. If you’re looking to spruce up your look, redecorate your sanctorum or get a gift for that special something in your life, Etsy.com is your place for spooky econo.]

AngelQ Expressions
http://www.etsy.com/shop/AngelQ

Voodoo Hoodoo…Chicken Feet, Graveyard Dirt, and Baron Samedi

Seems the weather is turning strange, with parts of the world getting tornadoes and snowstorms while OTHER parts will report temperatures in the Early Summer region of the thermometer. Maybe the world IS ending this year?

If so, you better pick up some AngelQ Expressions while your money is worth something. There’s plenty of survival equipment being made and food being processed, canned and stored. But you’re going to need some identifiable item so that when the survivors come upon your encampment, they know you’re friend (or foe.) Or, if this world continues, you’ll want to live it up looking fashionable, won’t you?

Either way, don’t risk it. Buy.

SALE The Great Old One Cometh Cthulhu with Obsidian and Hematite OOAK

Cephalopod capture the fluid motion of a snake and multiplies it, adding in the viscous texture of a mucus covered skin, or a body that has lived under water since the dawn of time. These are creatures that exist at a peak under the water (and some of them can walk on land!) These are creatures so far removed from ourselves. Deep ones. Evil things. And you can demonstrate your fealty with this necklace.

 Black Widow in Obsidian OOAK

Alice Cooper turned 64 this year. Consider, he had to change his name from Vincent Furnier to a rock villain named Alice in order to be comfortable in his own skin. Granted, there was severe alcoholism and even more golf, but it’s nice to know that outlandish methods can somehow bring a man peace. This is all mentioned because his song “Black Widow” off of the legendary album, ‘Welcome To My Nightmare.’ What a great album.

On the Chopping Block…The Slasher Horror Films Defined

The appeal of the butcher knife is that it’s a weighted item. It’s a cooking axe, a cleaver, a thick chunk of steel that will just sever one piece from another. It’s almost magic at how easy a sharpened blade can slice through anything when wielded by a skilled hand. This is intimidating. And you can be intimidating when you wear these earrings. Demonstrate a knowledge and respect for this tool or at least, scare the hell out of your bartender.

 Deadly Red

A procession of skulls follows a set of vampire teeth, interspersed by blood red beats to create an elegant concept of death and rebirth in this single piece. A charm bracelet to wear around the wrist; reach and go about your day, allowing people to catch a glimpse and know that death is always near at hand. Or have something pretty to look at as you jangle.

Ruby the Demon Defined

A little bit of fan-art for you followers of a certain supernatural television series, who will identify the nature of the dagger, the red vial of “blood” and french-fries made into a three-dimensional, wearable jewelry. Demons and CW fans will be your friends. And you need as many friends in this world as you can get.

You can find AngelQ Expressions across the Internet – find them on Facebook, over at DeviantART, on Twitter and even on Tumblr! You can find the main promo website over at angelqexpressions.weebly.com. Check up and get acquainted and when you’re all settled, return here next week for another edition of Tuesday uEtsy.

 

Mar 02 2012

Haunted Hotsauce: The Return

Earlier, I spoke about and tried half of the bottles included in the package from HauntedHotsauce.com. I spoke of Mortician Mold’s resurrection powers and how Fleshfeast should be a staple of your fridge. They are perfect entries for those who are looking to try hotsauce other than the typically generic brands on the shelf at your local grocer or bodega.

For the more advanced, we have two entries on the high end of the HauntedHotsauce.com heat index. At first I thought I would save them for a special occasion but since every day above ground is one worth for celebration, I busted them out this past Sunday and had a go.

Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein’s Made In Hell Hot Sauce

For those of you not familiar, Doyle was a member of the Misfits lineup, back in the eighties when it involved Glen Danzig up all the way up until the Michael Graves years. I think he might have been with the band when it toured with Jerry Only, Doyle’s real brother, and Robo on drums. Doyle and wife Gorgeous George are a part of the musical entity Gorgeous Frankenstein, who will be releasing a new album this year.

Working with HauntedHotsauce, Doyle’s Made In Hell sauce is the second hottest product available from Haunted Hotsauce. What I noticed that among the four bottles I have, Made In Hell utilized black pepper the most and it can be tasted. Made In Hell has one of the most distinct personalities of any sauce I have ever tasted up to this point in my life.  Listed as a Louisiana “Cajun-style” hotsauce, I can definite see this being applied to seafood and chicken in a great marinade. It makes me hungry just thinking about it.

Heatwise, it definitely packs a punch. The deep flavor of the cracked black pepper and cayenne definitely gives it a kick. I only tried a little and will be careful when using it to cook in the future.

Moreso, I will be ginger when using the Hell Razor.

Hell Razor Habanero

The hottest product available on HauntedHotsauce.com, it took a good couple of pints of milk to finally cool myself down. The heat definitely stayed with me after I tried this. Definitely not fooling around, this habanero sauce is not to be taken lightly. It took only a few drops to liven up a taco and when I brew up some chili in a week, it’ll take just a few to make the batch a good one.

The best thing is that never did my mouth die from the spice. Even at the peak of the “burn,” I still could taste. This wasn’t a sauce that was aiming to kill me in some show of bravado. It was confident in its ability. This is spicy, no doubt, but it didn’t sacrifice the flavor for some dragon’s breath boast. There are sauces on the market that I won’t try because it’s evident that the creator didn’t care for making an enjoyable experience – they only wanted to have some big ego in saying they made a sauce that’s so hot, it’ll cause a cardiac arrest.

There’s also a point to that which I think Victor “The Undertaker” Ives of Haunted Hotsauce gets, and it becomes a reason why Haunted Hotsauce is the ideal product for any self-respecting horror fan.

Those who don’t get horror think that the genre and its supporters are enthusiastic for mindless gore, foaming at the prospect to witness celluloid carnage. In those who don’t get it, the great misconception is that a horror movie fan’s greatest delight is seeing buxom women getting carved up in graphic displays of violence that stain the screen red and leave a murder trail a mile long.

The truth is, yeah. Horror fans enjoy gore, violence and murderous freaks. But, we’re not uncouth. Quite.

What most people fail to get when they don’t understand horror is that it’s as much about restraint as it is about excess. The less you see, the more you have to fill in with your imagination. Horror is a complement to a person’s mind, not filler for it. And the gore was not without reason. Even the grindiest of grindhouse movies knew to include a plot (though it could be argued that grindhouse as a genre is the overloading of senses to eliminate thinking altogether, that “the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” It’s another argument for another time.) Horror should complement, never supplant, the fan’s intelligence or imagination.

If it was possible to quantify experiences, then the makers of Haunted Hotsauce know their audience well. They have successfully captured the horror mentality with their product. As they sought to create tasty sauces that make great additions to your daily palate, they managed to create what a horror movie might actually taste like. The strength of the spice in Hell Razor Habanero and Made In Hell sauce is potent, and it will stay with you long after the bite. But never does it overpower the senses. It’s not gratuitous. There is no spice-for-the-sake-of-being-spicy here. I was really impressed.

These products get my highest recommendation and I hope to purchase them for my friends and family for Christmas (spoiler alert to any of them who are reading this.) Head on over to HauntedHotsauce.com now and purchase a bottle. You won’t regret it.

 

Bonus: Here’s horror hostesses Marlene Midnite and Robyn Graves (of Midnite Mausoleum) in the commercial they made for Haunted Hotsauce.com

Feb 29 2012

Thingu

It’s no secret that I love stop motion comedy videos that pay tribute to horror classics, so it should be no surprise that I was very interested when I heard there was a claymation parody of John Carpenter’s The Thing floating around online:

In case you’re wondering, this was done in the style of the children’s show Pingu. While I’m not too familiar with the series, my buddy N. Oremac is a huge fan. Based on his recollections of the show and the information here (which also indicates the series did a few episodes with spooky themes), this seems to be a faithful homage.

Feb 28 2012

Tuesday uEtsy: Urhammer Arts

Tuesday uEtsyFor those who are searching for unique horror items, one can’t beat Etsy.com. Each Tuesday, Gravedigger’s Local 16 aims to highlight one seller. If you’re looking to spruce up your look, redecorate your sanctorum or get a gift for that special something in your life, Etsy.com is your place for spooky econo.]

UrhammerArts
http://www.etsy.com/shop/UrhammerArts

 

OOAK Bib Necklace–Made With Recycled Hardware, Bullet Brass, and Reclaimed Watch Gears

One of Leathbridge’s romantic moments happened two nights ago. In the historic recording of Amorous Occurrences, a ledger kept by Hector in the mind that isn’t condemned to speak in limericks as a primary method in relating to the world, the event of fifty-four hours passed surpassed Wil Davis’s spontaneous composition and performance of a thirteen minute soliloquy, with acoustic guitar accompaniment, that overcame a divide of three weeks between him and Ms. Vanessa Black.

While a young man playing a guitar isn’t normally romantic (in fact, it’s downright cliché) it was the fact that two people, completely separate organisms of individual thought processes and isolated methods of understanding and interacting with the world had twelve seconds of complete, total understanding—it happened during 9:33-9:45 of the song—made the event noteworthy. Somehow, the longing of two foolishly dumb animals, commonly known as human beings, punctured the barrier that such a thing as language was just so specifically invented to do. They were successful in understanding everything about the other, even if it was for twelve seconds. Odds are, that’s twelve seconds more than what you’ve had, what WE’VE had.

It’s this appreciation for a greater sense of understanding, for the nature of art, that we bring the spotlight on Urhammer Arts for this week’s Tuesday uEtsy spotlight. There’s a stronger commitment to creating objects that act as tools in understanding another person, elegant objects that are totems towards conquering those mystic demons of confusion, of distrust and ignorance.

Elegant Circle Necklace

There’s a philosophical theory that states because there’s a need for language, that we are incapable of understanding each other. Because we do not possess complete empathy, we need to invent a system to convey what we think and feel. Ergo, that moment when Wil tried like a clumsy Neanderthal beating away the dark and somehow sparking fire, he fought against the threat of a crumbling relationship with all he could reach for. And twelve seconds later, he and Vanessa were left changed. Gone, for a mere sliver of a minute, were two individuals. There wasn’t a spot where one ended and the other began. In similar spirit, this elegant circle necklace exists without a start or a stop. It, just like that moment, exists without any kind of perception of time.

Those twelve seconds went by without either party speaking. The chords that Wil strummed were recorded but are kept confidential in Hector’s mind. If the man ever learns how to play guitar, he might be able to reproduce those notes but until then, they remain locked away.

Bat Pendant Necklace–Solid Brass

Hector’s own love life has been one of struggle. His stroke, not initially caused by the mixture of three types of jerky into one sandwich, but a blood clot that could have been fatal. The speech therapy that followed did procure his unusual predicament of speaking in limerick. It’s a comfort thing. He can speak straight, though labored and it’s very painful for him. He struggles with it the most when speaking with his wife, who hasn’t left him, but the frustration in Cindy’s face has been apparent since the day after Hector’s surgery. Part of her fluttered away when she realized that there was a lengthy and arduous road ahead of her if she chose to stay with her husband. As not many can imagine the sound of that part of her that lifted off her shoulders and past her eyes, its small body growing smaller as she watched it soar away.

Bullet Earrings–Ladies Look DANGEROUS

Even with that miracle of understanding, the event with Wil and Vanessa was only third in the descending order of ‘Romantic Qualities.’ The quantitative details, though verified though the years, remain as secretive as the notes of Wil’s guitar. Only Hector knows why the event of two nights ago bumped Wil and Vanessa down to no.4 from no.3.

We only know of what constitutes the entries in the no.2 and newly no.3 spots. What has been established as the most romantic moment of our sleepy hollow’s existence has to be kept from the public, in fear of foolhardy reenactments that might lead to more harm than good. Romance is dangerous, very similar to the efforts behind these bullet earrings. Can bullets mean peace and romance? Doubt it. Instead, someone wearing these demonstrate that they are not, in layman’s terms, are to be messed with.

EYE earrings–Delicate Vintage Findings Recycled Jewelry

However, the EYE earrings of above, as admitted by the folks behind Urhammer Arts, are of a more vague nature. It’s not clear what message they convey and it’s in this ambiguity that they thrive. It allows for the individual to adapt them to their own specific message. To others, this presents a puzzle, a quandary to decipher. This might complicate life but we’re a complicated, if not dumb, species. We’ve arisen from the mire and muck, either from the primordial goop or the primitive garden of antiquity, because we are programmed to be complicated. If humans were meant to be simple, they’d be butterflies.

Art Deco Moth Necklace

Or moths.

All animals are complex in design. Keep that in mind. You are complex and you are an animal. Celebrate your limitless and limited duality with this necklace that celebrates the nature of art and the art in nature.

You can discover the rest of Urhammer Arts at their Etsy page. Follow them on twitter . Come back here next week for more mysteries we might or might not tell you about in between the pages of another Tuesday uEtsy.

Feb 26 2012

Image Problems

Been noticing that a lot of the images, carry-overs from out tenure on the gravediggerslocal.blogspot.com account, have turned up dead. A lot of the Tuesday uEtsy features of old are screwed up. I’ve been talking with the Front Office and we’ll have things fixed by April. So if you come across a post a year or two old and there’s a huge EXCLAMATION POINT!, we know about it. It should be fixed by next month (and that, once again, being April.)

Feb 24 2012

6′+ Episode 24 is up!

To quote the description given at the new listing:

“Depending on where you live, the Winter has been nice, horrible or downright apocalyptic. It might even be summer. To celebrate this strangeness and our desire for it to knock it off, let us take you the beach. It’ll be fun.

Burt Rocket, Dr. Frankenstein, The Nebulas, Messer Chups, Death Ray Cats and The Left Hand are all there! You’ll find Zombies Are Taking Over and Sir Cecil and the Creapes. So strip down to your skivvies, string up those bikinis, watch out for frostbite and dive on in!”

You can find all episodes of 6’+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes. We’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

Feb 23 2012

GRUL666 Multi-Purpose Putrescence

 

The psychobilly pompadour is a distinct hairstyle, rising from the swamps of the punk rock Mohawk/Mohican to mate with the undead bride of the 1950’s greaser curl to produce an iconic look with variation. Usually the forward spike that defies gravity and, depending on how dedicated the psycho cat it, it could be anywhere from a few inches to a full foot in height.

Keeping such a look must be hell, especially with all the products out there. I’ve never rocked anything near what the most extravagant psychos or punks have presented, but I have gone through a cavalcade of creams, sprays, waxes and gels. Some of them were rancid oil products that could double as napalm. Others were goopy and amorphous, like they could really ruin Steve McQueen’s night.

You don’t want to be putting crap in your hair. No glue. Nothing that seems like it could double as axle grease. You want to stick to all natural and high quality. Ergo, the multi-purpose Putrescence from Grave Robbers Union Local 666.

This week’s Tuesday uEtsy put GRUL666 in the spotlight and they were very kind to provide a 1.oz tin of their new product. It’s a mix of “Microcrystalline wax, Beeswax, Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, and Cinnamon/Clove Essential oils.”  If you can both count the ingredients on both hands AND easily pronounce them, you know the product’s a winner. And Putrescence is a winner.

The scent is a joy, a subtle brush of cinnamon mixed with the coconut that is inviting, not off-putting. One of the purposes advertised is as a cologne/perfume and I’m pretty sure I got asked out for drinks by three different women after I dabbed a bit on of Putrescence on my skin. And I was still in my bathroom, so you know it’s powerful (but not overpowering.)

The oils involved in the product are good for dried skin. I tried it on my hands and it seemed to relieve the sting of the winter’s cold. It works as well as a lip balm. If you’re getting ready for a noontime meal or a midnight kiss, you want to have some life in your lips and Putrescence brings them back from the dead.

But the primary selling point is as a hair product and I can tell you that it’s great. You only need a little bit to get your hair to stand straight up – this is maximum hold. It’ll have your hair standing on end like you’ve seen a ghost and after a nice wash, back to normal. It’s mostly natural, even if the people who make it aren’t. Your hair smells like a sandlewood coffin and your hair has the hold of a vampire’s spell.

Currently, the 1.oz variety, good for those who want to carry it around with them in their pockets or bags, runs for $4.25 + $4 shipping.  And we’re proud to share the announcement that GRUL666 has just added a compact for inclusion with all orders of 3 oz tins. You’ll get a compact mirror with your Putrescence tin for cheaper price than just for a competing hair product. A very good deal and you’re supporting a small business.

If you want all natural, if you want a bargain and if you want a great product that makes you feel, look and smell good, then you definitely want Putrescence.

EDIT: an earlier version of this post claimed that Putrescence was 100% natural, but Grue of GRUL666 informed me that due to the Microcrystalline wax, a petroleum product, they can’t make the claim. However, he did say that they’re switching over to soy wax from bees wax so the product will be vegan-safe. I still stand by the product’s effectiveness to sooth cracked skin and mold your hair.

Feb 23 2012

A Handful of Dirt: Belle Dee of Doo Wacka Doodles

A Handful of DirtA Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

 

Distinct and vivid as if its coming off the page, the art of Belle Dee has won her praise and respect. As an illustrator and graphic designer, some of my work has been published in Little Shoppe of Horrors and Rue Morgue magazines. It also won her a Rondo, as her drawings of classic and current horror earned her 2010’s Linda Miller Award for Best Fan Artist.  She also recently complete some work for Horrorhound, and will also be doing more work for their magazine later this year. When not working on art, Belle Dee can usually be found watching horror movies.

Find her work over at Doo Wacka Doodles. You can also find her making an appearance at Wondercon this May 26-27th. Also head over and like her artwork fan page at Facebook.

If you were to insert yourself as a character in a cartoon show, which show would it be?

I think I’d feel right at on The Venture Bros.

What’s an unlikely comic inspiration that people might not connect with your work?

That’s kind of a tough one, since I think that any one that I named would be pretty obvious. But I guess that I would say that the two big orange cats, Heathcliff & Garfield were big influences. I had a bunch of their books and I would try to draw some of the characters from them, when I was a kid.

Currently, what do you attribute being your creative “white whale,” in that you’ve tried to make (editor’s note: in this case, a drawing or art piece) but haven’t been able to get it exactly to your liking?

There are several things. For the last two years or so I’ve been trying to get the perfect Bela Lugosi drawing. It’s always a bit off. I recently did a couple that I’m just about satisfied with. The newest one is I’ve been trying to draw Benedict Cumberbatch (from the BBC Sherlock series), and he’s really tough. Which is surprising because he’s so unusual looking.

Which Muppet would you invite over to your family’s home for Thanksgiving?

Probably Sam the Eagle. I would get to be the ‘weirdo’ at dinner.

If you were to join the Coney Island Sideshow as a featured performer, what is your talent?

I don’t know. Maybe I’d teach my cats circus tricks. Then I could wear a cat costume, and we would all perform together. Like a dancing cat show.

 

Feb 21 2012

Tuesday uEtsy: Grave Robbers Union Local 666

Tuesday uEtsy[For those who are searching for unique horror items, one can’t beat Etsy.com. Each Tuesday, Gravedigger’s Local 16 aims to highlight one seller. If you’re looking to spruce up your look, redecorate your sanctorum or get a gift for that special something in your life, Etsy.com is your place for spooky econo.]

Grave Robbers Union Local 666
http://www.etsy.com/shop/grul666

 

1″ button “Ghoul Power” Horror, Goth, Psychobilly, Rockabilly-Buy 2 get the 3rd free

 Let us start off by saying, the relationship between grave robber and grave digger used to be a whole lot worse.

Young Gus can attest to the few nights when a couple of unskillful wretches figured they’d be the next Burke and Hare, breaking into Quiet Side early into the morning in hopes of raiding a few of the freshly buried. Often they’d get caught and end up with a backside full of rock salt or worse, waiting for the ambulance or the police to arrive.

It was a rare individual who would spoil a good day’s work in hopes of scavenging the few bits of material goods the departed wished to entomb along with their decaying remains. T’was even rarer that such a person was right evil; most, clumsy and ashamed as they were, were good but desperate folk who simply ran out of other options. As the years gone on, the night guardsman trigger finger became less prejudiced.

This isn’t to say that security became lax or that a near spotless record at Quite Side suddenly became a tarnished cover. We have pride in our work and the loyalty to our customers in mind. But, as the days have gotten darker and the harvest less bountiful, certain understandings came into play between the two rivals.

Don’t take this as some kind of condoning pardon issued for any of you who think it’s an up and coming vocation to take a shovel to the next graveyard. Not all members of our union are understanding. You will get arrested and possibly shot.

But, when one of the tyrant shipping executives decides to load his casket with the baubles of a life lived for the bottom line, one can’t be too angry at the discovery of an exhumed corpse the next morning. Sometimes, a body isn’t buried too deep, knowing full well it’ll have to be covered up again. Other times, we have to be diligent against such invasive efforts. Some things get buried for a reason.

So we speak of the Grave Robbers Union Local 666 this time around. We put them in, they take them out. It’s a circle of life, a bit of recycling. As the resources dwindle, we’ll all be digging through the dead, soon enough.

Pre-Order T-shirt “Bite Me” Vampires, Psychobilly, Horrorpunk, Goth, Rockabilly, Burke, Grave Robber

Grave Robbers Union (GRUL666 from now on) specializes in apparel and accessories for the horror enthusiast, ranging from buttons, belt buckles and the above t-shirt. A pre-sale for you vampire fetishists or bat-lovers out there, this shirt invites the world to pony up and chomp on certain tender spots, whether they are above your waist or below. Perhaps you’re into this ‘bite club’ mentality? Or maybe you just like telling the world to kiss off? Either way, this shirt is currently on presale.

Pre-Order T-shirt “Coffin Argyle” Psychobilly, Horrorpunk, Goth, Rockabilly

 We personally enjoy this ‘coffin argyle’ design and hope that GRUL666 branches out into footwear so that we can see this ingenious pattern (in varying colors of mahogany, dried sienna and midnight black) on socks in the future. It’s a clever design that we hope doesn’t remain on this t-shirt. It’s one of those near realities, where we are on the cusp of an event. Soon, you might see ladies rocking knee-highs of this pattern at your local rockabilly show or perhaps on their arms as wrist warmers. You’re witnessing history here. Be glad.

1″ button hair clip “Misfits Fiend Club” , Psychobilly, Rockabilly, Punk, Horror, Goth

 In addition to the t-shirts, belt buckles, buttons and more that you’ll find at GRUL666, there is a plethora of hair clips available for your everyday (is Halloween) needs. One such example is this retro ‘Misfits Fiend Club,’ demonstrating a logo that isn’t the now world famous ‘Crimson Skull.’ Anime influenced or no, we can’t really know much of the origin of this image except that it’s NOT the Crimon Skull and for that alone, it deserves your attention. Perhaps wearing this goth/punk will attract the batcave dweller of your dreams? Or maybe it’ll make your hair look neat? Either way, buy.

1″ button hair clip “Old Witch” From Tales From the Crypt, Horror, Goth, Psychobilly, Rockabilly

Sometimes you never really know when you’re robbing a grave. Strange Jason remembers a time when as a youth, a friend of his family passed along a large cardboard box full of second hand comic books. For every superhero, there was one horror title. X-men were evenly matched by House of Mystery, Superman with Tales of Suspense or the Boris Karloff offshoot.

“Yeah, and a bunch of those ‘The Witching Hours,’ with those three witches. Morded, Mildred, and Cynthia. No idea that they were lifted from MacBeth,” admitted Strange Jason one day after the Intern dug was caught reading a collected volume of the old EC comics and the topic was the point of discussion. “Had a crush on the blonde one, that Cynthia. Probably wasn’t healthy but, well. Never claimed to be healthy.”

Perhaps you share a similar affliction or would like to demonstrate some solidarity to the old printed horror, the likes of the button hair clip seen here. Either way, we don’t judge you.

9 x 5 Brains Just Eat Em Silk Screened Backpatch, Horror, Goth, halloween, Punk, Psychobilly, Nike Swoosh

Parody aside, you sometimes just need to demonstrate a basic need. It might not even be for mere consumption but for a higher diet of conversation. Mainly, though, this is about consumption. Eating your fill and continuing on. It’s clever. It’s retro. It’s a patch and that’s all you really want to know, isn’t it?

Find more about GRUL66 on Facebook – (www.facebook.com/grul666) as they are quite active in their local community. Friend/Like them and you’ll be privy to all their secret dealings. Last weekend, they were giving away gifts. You want free gifts, don’t you? Well, you might as well follow them on Twitter over @grul666. Their website – www.trioxin245.com – will redirect you to their Etsy store for now but an official website with new products is forthcoming.  Until then, go to www.etsy.com/shop/grul666 for all your needs.

Keep an eye here this week for a bonus collaboration t’ween robbers and diggers and always, come back in a week for another edition of Tuesday uEtsy.

 

Feb 16 2012

A Handful of Dirt: John “Dr. Sarcofiguy” Dimes

A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

 

Author/Graphic Designer/Actor John Dimes is happily affiliated with the television show Spooky Movie Television as the character Dr. Sarcofiguy. He has authored the books Intracations, The White Corpse Hustle: A Guide for the Fledgling Vampire, The Rites of Pretending Tribe, and There Are No Bad Movies (Only Bad Audiences).

His comic book Gurlimann’s Bizaare Bazaar received 3 out 4 Skulls from Fangoria Magazine, and a “Dimes gets props for having a villain based on Charlie Chaplin,” from Ain’t It Cool News.

You can find out more about him on his website at: www.johndimes.weebly.com.

 

 

If you were the host of a late night talk show host, who would you have as your band?

My favorite most obscene/tongue-in-cheek band in the world to have on my show would be THE TIGER LILLIES. They’re from the U.K., and is described by some as Tom Waits on helium. That’s a true thing. I’d have them sing “Push A Baby Down The Stairs,” from their album “Urine Palace.” They’re brilliant, I tell you!

If you could resurrect a film actor, who would it be?

Can I answer with whose career I’d like to see euthanized first? Nicholas Cage. Where’s Dr. Kevorkian, for chrissakes?! Oh, he’s dead, idn’t he?! Heh. I definitely would resurrect Vincent Price, though. That there was an AWESOME actor. An awesome personality. Or Peter Sellers. No more Pink Panther stuff. But I’d definitely like to see him around some more. I loved him in the movie “Being There.”

We’ve woken up and in this universe, you are the driver of a car for NASCAR. Who is the main sponsor of your car?

Underwood Devil’s Spread. SPAM. Mr. Bubble.

A FOX executive (suspected of being under the influence of a serious of highly fashionable illegal substance) gives you carte blanche to design a game show. What do you come up with?

I’ve actually thought about this before, but you’d have the world’s most horrible bosses imaginable on the show, only they don’t know they’re horrible. You have a bunch of them competing against one another. They are asked a series of questions like:

1. How often do you reprimand an employee in front of other employees?
2. When is it all right to hover over your employees as they are typing a memo, or carrying out day to day tasks?
3. How often do you talk about your employees to other employees and staff?
4. When you have a project that has a 6 month deadline, do you start it immediately, or start it a month before the end date because you know you can galvanize the troops into getting the task done effectively?
5. How much confidence do you believe your staff and employees have in your leadership abilities?

Questions like that. Basically you give them a multiple choice list which are of course tied-in with the requisite percentage points. If by the end of the show they have garnered enough percentage points of how outrageously horrible a boss they are, then the person who nominated them for the show wins cash and prizes, while the bosses are exposed for the idiot he is. It would be hosted by Judge Judy! I’d name the show “THE CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES.” after the novel.

What is the number one bit of romantic advice you can divine for those who are unlucky in love (editor’s note: perhaps tying the advice with the upcoming Valentine’s Day Holiday Season?)

Hygiene is so important. If you try to kiss someone, and they can smell you before you reach them, you should think about that. Understand boundary issues and whether you have them. Wait for the “High sigh,” for permission to board a person. And lastly, and most importantly, if you’ve finally found someone who has consented to be seen with you in public, and they ask you the question, “Would you die for me?” Your answer should not be “No!: Instead, answer with the following: “Should the event present itself, I’d try my level best make sure we BOTH survive the experience!” In short: Chivalry is never dead, only slightly wounded. Or at the very least, it should be mildly singed!

 

Feb 14 2012

It’s Valenslime’s Day!

Looks like Lupin the 3rd finally got Fujiko...

You can find the full-size version of this cool horror Valentine shown here. Also, please enjoy this gallery of creepy vintage Valentines from ZOMBIE!, in addition to the Valentine’s Day-themed episode of our podcast. If you want to see more work by the artist behind today’s image, please visit his official website.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Special Thanks to ZOMBIE! and Corefolio for use of the image!

Feb 14 2012

Tuesday uEtsy: Tiger House Art

Tuesday uEtsy

For those who are searching for unique horror items, one can’t beat Etsy.com. Each Tuesday, Gravedigger’s Local 16 aims to highlight one seller. If you’re looking to spruce up your look, redecorate your sanctorum or get a gift for that special something in your life, Etsy.com is your place for spooky econo.]

 

Tiger House Art
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TigerHouseArt

Gothic Macabre Art Print The Grim Reaper Memento Mori

Happy Valentine’s Day. This week’s edition will not deal with the holiday because you’re quite screwed if you haven’t bought anything for your significant other by now. You might even be dead, which is why the artwork of Tiger Art House is a perfect choice to line the lover’s coffin you will be sharing with no one save yourself, as your jilted lover is the first to cast her handful of dirt on your body when it lowers into the ground. Or, Tiger House Art will help you furnish that efficiency, studio apartment or doghouse that you’re moving into because you forgot, you nitwit/

A bit grim but what is love but a grim wage of life and death? Sometimes, you win. And sometimes, you’re staring up into the face of skeleton, one that’s holding your broken heart.

Tropical Tiki God Art Print

It might be time to switch pantheons. Whatever divine entity you aggravated with your romantic neglect has certainly abandoned you. Maybe you should go Polynesian? Why not? First off, there’s less clothing involved. Second, the music is incredible (ps. LISTEN TO KAVA KON.) Third, the drinks. Even if you’re drinking non-alcoholic items, tiki drinks glow, smoke and taste great. This Tiki God Art Print is a good start to getting in the good graces of something greater than you.

 

Skulldar The Misfortune Teller Dark Macabre Psychobilly Art Print

We’re not one to say “we told you so” and with this print of Skulldar The Misfortune Teller, we won’t have to. Look back upon your misfortune with the added pain of knowing that there WAS a way to avoid all this. You could have made it easier on yourself but you decided to go your own way. Had you consulted Skulldar, you would have at least known what troubles were in store for you so you could have adequately prepared for the moment when the tragedy struck and turned your life to slop.

 

Gothic Horror Art Print Beware Nosferatu Vampire Wall Poster

Though, Tiger House Art isn’t all about misfortune and death. Sometimes, it’s about vampires. Specifically, Nosferatu. They’re warning you about them, though. That’s nice, right? See, you had clear warning about forgetting a somewhat dishonest holiday, now what it being a pink and red boondoggle for mass produced sentiment. Sure, you knew all about the oncoming onslaught of cards and jewelry but chose not to heed the warning. You’ll think differently now, especially since the warning is about blood sucking nightmares that haunt the night!*

*Not going for the low hanging fruit there.

 

Dangerous Machine Steampunk Art Print Wall Decor

Let’s face it. Women. Vampires. There’s only one other real threat to you. Robots. Machines are wonderful items of mechanical whimsy but they’re also potential metallic death merchants. Be prepared. With you alienating your allies and loved ones through neglect, you’re going to be more susceptible to taking comfort in machines instead of real people. This will lead to your downfall, as they will manipulate your trust to ensure their dominance over your weakened mental and poorly frail flesh state. Beware. BEWARE.

 

Dance Macabre Gothic Medieval Art Print Set

Ultimately, we all die. We can’t avoid that. It’s a scary concept, that one day your consciousness will no longer be what it currently is. Whether you become a ghost or simply shut down, it remains the greatest mystery. This Dance Macabre print might lessen the fear, or heighten it. It might also remind you to focus on those connections you have, be they romantic or fraternal. Life ends, and whether it is fast and joyous or slow and arduous – life is a finite entity. You only get one so make use of it as much as possible. If you screw up, don’t abandon your life Instead, redecorate it. Rejuvinate. Celebrate the passing of the old and welcome the new. And buy these prints from Tiger House Art. They’re fantastic.

You can find the store here. And find yourself back here next week for another Tuesday uEtsy.

Feb 13 2012

Haunted Hotsauce Review

After the Undertaker of HauntedHotsauce.com stopped by for his edition of ‘A Handful of Dirt,’ I decided to try out some of the items available at HauntedHotsauce.com.

If ever I am to find a wife, have a kid and somehow raise them right that they make it to college, one of the fist bits of passing advice I will provide is that “hot sauce makes most bland shit palatable.” It’s true. During the tenure of tortilla trips and microwaved ramen noodles, the application of the concoction made life a little bit more interesting. When living in my first apartment and I needed to make a batch of Kraft mac & cheese, a few shakes made it seems for a moment that I wasn’t eating highly processed wheat detritus.

I didn’t grow up in a highly cultured environment, menu wise. That was not a fault of the family, mind you. Simply put, the backwoods of where I developed didn’t have a wide cuisine available.  A google search showed that only recently did an Indian restaurant open up in a neighboring town. It didn’t help that the Strange household wasn’t that rich. Iceberg lettuce and Chef Boyardee was more of an economic choice than one of taste. After relocating to the backwoods from the desert, we carried over a love of broke-southwest cooking so hotsauce became a staple. The poison of choice was Arizona Gunslinger for the longest time, though the Father Strange has, as of last switched over to Two Flaming Arrows. And now, I think I’ll make the transition over to one of Haunted Hotsauce’s trademark products.

(click for bigger)

I have to say that on presentation alone, Haunted Hotsauce has earned my business. When I retrieved the package from the local Post Office, I was treated to the above selection of four sauces, a roll of parchment with a special proclamation, some eyeball bubblegum and other delights in the packaging that made me smile. And I didn’t order the advance packaging, which comes in a handmade wooden casket (with includes mausoleum moss and maggots!)

I ordered a bottle of Mortician’s Mold and Fleshfeast 1, since they’re towards the lower end of the heat scale. I’m not someone who looks to eat the hottest stuff alive in suicide-by-food attempts with shit that is on parr with pepper spray. Seriously, I don’t understand why people keep breeding these insanity peppers, especially since the latest round of ‘hot peppers that kill’ have come from lily white Europeans. I’m comfortable with myself that I don’t need to inflict neurological damage when trying to eat a taco. Dummkopf.

The Undertaker, probably looking for a new client, included a bottle of Doyle’s Made In Hell and what I can only assume is a lifetime’s supply of Hell Razor, the hottest product available on HauntedHotsauce.com. A hearty thanks goes out for these two bottles, though at this point I haven’t opened them because I had no milk in the home. Once procuring a couple gallons or so, I will crack the bottle open on them and follow up this review. If I knock up the aforementioned hypothetical wife with that hypothetical child, I don’t have a bottle of champagne (‘popping corks,’ indeed) but I do have these bottles of hotsauce for a special occasion. Until then, Doyle Von Frankenstein continues to stare at me, daring me.

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Each of the products from Haunted Hotsauce, save the Doyle sauce, came with a toe-tag and a death shroud. It’s a lovely touch that, even if you don’t opt for the handmade coffin, makes each bottle a gift and an experience. Plus, when you’re opening up a new bottle for the first time, it’s kind of cool to think that you’re getting closer to death. Or, it’s terribly frightening. Either or.

The least hot item available is RottingFleshRadio.com’s Mortician’s Mold, which is pretty misleading since the damn sauce carries a kick to it. This isn’t weak, but it won’t kill you immediately.

Take a look at this picture:

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This stuff is GREEN and it’s not due to some artificial coloring and flavors. ALL NATURAL INGREDIENTS so this is pure damn green hell here. Now, if you can see those bits of darker spots? Flavor. You can tell with all the sauces, even just by looking at them through the bottle, that this is some quality food product full of robust flavor. I’m not bullshitting you.

See, when running out of some decent hot sauce, I’ve relied a lot on Texas Pete’s pepper sauce. Pepper Sauce, much like Tabasco, is vinegar with flavor. A lot of cheap-ass brands of ‘hot sauce’ list Tabasco as an ingredient. That’s kind of an indicator that someone skipped out on the quality. Not so with the Haunted Hotsauce. The Mortician’s Mold is a full flavored sauce. Very tasty. It’s not just jalapeno, as I could taste the garlic and onion. It’s a good blend and has some magical powers. No fooling – I screwed up some chili by adding more meat than expected, creating a sloggy stew. Some dash of the Mortician’s Mold brought that meal back from the dead.

Flavor over fire, any day.

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The original sauce that sprung the whole business, Fleshfeast, is cayenne based whereas Mortician’s Mold is jalapeno. The taste is different, of course, but the effect is similar – a robust flavor that has a strong kick that doesn’t overwhelm. There are two higher levels – Fleshfeast 2 and Fleshfeast 3 – that are higher in the heat index. But the basic level here that I tasted was strong enough to smart. But there wasn’t a bad aftertaste by those who rely heavily on vinegar or have a bad mix of ingredients. This was a tasty sauce, great for everyday use. I’ve busted it out on popcorn and the thickness of the sauce makes it look like the snack is splattered in blood. Very appropriate and delicious.

This is my new go-to hotsauce. It’s a great mix of flavor and heat that make life much better.

Head over to HauntedHotsauce.com and pick up a couple bottles for yourself. It’s a not a huge conglomerate but a very small business that I’m happy to support. If you’re throwing a party, these are great condiments to have and double-so if you’re a horror fiend. Do it. You won’t regret it.

Thanks goes out again for the additional review bottles of Doyle’s Made In Hell and Hell Razor. Look for a comprehensive review of the two later sauces probably sometime around Monday, February 27th. That’s if, y’know, I’m still alive by then. 

Feb 10 2012

6′+ Episode 23 is up!

To quote the description given at the new listing:

“Love is grand and ends up costing a couple grand once it’s done with you. In a Valentine’s day special, we get all lovey-dovey and hatey-matey on the 14th of February. With music from Bloodsucking Zombies From Outer Space, The Surf Zombies, Ding Dong Devils, The Phenomenauts, Dana Countryman and more. Listen and love or hear and hate. Whatever your heart desires.

We also christened our triple shot as Three Feet Deep. This episode features a trio of songs from Jim Vance, the creature behind Phantom Maximus, Ghost Runs Wild, Thee Wild Wraith and others.”

You can find all episodes of 6’+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes. We’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

Feb 09 2012

A Handful of Dirt: Jim Warfield of Ravens Grin Inn

A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

 

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

Jim Warfield has been drawing and painting since he was 5 years old.  But it wasn’t until he was 38 that he was able to publicly show off his creativity in the guise of the Raven’s Grin Inn.  Part performance art, part art gallery Jim has become internationally known for not only his sense of humor and tours of his home but his ability to capture that same essence on paper and canvas.

 

 

Through luck and your uncanny skills at politicking, a significant portion of the world is named after you – where can we go to visit and what will we find when we get there?

Visiting that part of the world would only require a good night’s sleep because my part of the world would be a nocturnal dream playground of history (See “History’s Dumpster ) I have been there many times . The funny thing about it  ona technical side, is the indirect lighting. How does that work? I see no origin for the illumination, it’s not very well lit, just enough and we are all internally underground, inside our own mind’s synapses where history really does lie in wait via DNA micro circuits which are also one with everything that has passed before, as we were also there, in part, at least.

There is the old familiar ravine of cliffs and gullies and architectural parts and pieces of failed civilizations here and there, arranged not on top of one another but clear delineated for examination and enjoyment. No weather there, there is a roof an unseen one, filing these odd things away for ever.

 

You’re on a date with someone – they suggest catching a late night feature. What’s the title of the movie that makes you think “this one’s a keeper?”

Movie: “I Was Hitler’s Woman-The Herman Goering Story”

“You are such a guy, Herman, war hero, flying high above that hell on earth battlefield as I ran for my miserable life between the explosions all around me carrying scraps of paper back and forth as commanders had to tell each other that we were all dying there! How did you get to become a pilot?”

“I wish you wouldn’t ask such questions when we are in bed together, Adolf, it kind of distracts me and actually helps to kill the “Mood”.

“Just tell me if I’m “Hot” or “cold” when I give you a few of my guesses about that question that you don’t seem to wish to acknowledge, OK?”

“Can we do this with the lights “off”?

“NO! Positively NOT! Nein!”

“Well crap!”

“OK.’

“No! Don’t crap the bed again! At least stop yourself until I’m in position right under you, OK Love? You do make a real mess of shit, Herman.”

“That’s it! ”

“Wutt?”

“That is what we will call my aircraft factory to obscure my ownership of it (since my plane “won” the huge contract)

“Well, what are you going to call it then?”

“Mess-of-shitt!”

“Very clever, Herman, coded so the spies will not be able to figure out what were are building, since we are in violation of the accords. They will think it’s a sewer plant”

“Then when we engauge our full forces upon the unsuspecting world. they will be engulfed in that Mess-Of Shitt!”

“Swarms of shitters streaking across ..’

“The new sheet!”

“Whaa?”

“Pay attention to your bodilly functions at least a little bit, please!”

“By the way, Hermy, I need a new “beard”.

“You have a moustache, Adolf.”

“No, you know what I mean.”

“OH, well why did you shoot your Cousin anyway?”

“It was a misfortunate accdent, Herman.”

“Well, for Geilie, it sure was since her brain got deflated so quickly that dual snots pooped out of her nostrils half-way across the room!”

“All that brain -pressure pushing down on those mucus glands…”

“What color of a beard would you like this time Dolf?”

“I think a Braun one. Sort of one I could also bunker-down with when you ditch me Herman., I Know you are going to ditch me Herman, I KNOW IT! I KNOW IT!”

“Calm down Dolfer, you don’t want to start a war with me!”

“Well then, who may I start one with then?”

“Here, have a dart. Throw it at the map over there.”

 

What is the horror movie you like that most other people hate?

“HHHMM?”

I like some of the old horror movies that were black & white Silent masterpieces like “HAXAN” and Most of the rest of them made under such dire, crude circumstances when it must have taken a great deal of work to find financing and crew, ex cetra to even make anything happen , let alone the incredible products that came out, I mean they are just amazing works.

There are scenes in Haxan you will never see in another movie.

I must correct myself. The first time I saw Haxan we didn’t know there was a sound track, it’s in Danish? But it is a very old movie, maybe the sound track was added much later? Hard to tell when they are speaking in another language

 

What game would you make an Olympic sport?

US Men’s Bikini Thong roller blading team. My wife’s favorite sport from the comedy TV show The State, they did that.  Mine?

I think the 120 yard backwards hurtle dash. Imagine seeing trained athletes running backward  at high speed jumping the hurtles by guessing , counting steps, what a nutty watch this would be!

A whole new protective sports padding industry would spring to life, just as “Mother Necessity” shows up again.

Maybe the product spin off would create items for other people in other occupations, ex cetra from this endeavor?

The odd stresses placed upon a body running backwards might also lead to new health practises, exercises and the next thing we will be seeing would be the  class on “Biggest Loser” running backwards!

Redesigned shoes would be needed too. Maybe a special Winter race could be run through a snow-covered maze at night with a Jack Nicholson look alike chasing them?

This would be a kid’s race of course.

 

If you could use a mind control ray to contact every mind in the northern hemisphere, what would the message about a particular project you’re affiliated with (editor’s note: in this case, Ravens Grin Inn) that you would transmit?

Mind control over other people?

My message would say:”You need to be happy? You would like to feel better about life and self?

Why not?

You are smarter than they tell you, you know.

You can be a happier, better person, yes you can.

It all works from a small amount of selfishness (nobody will notice this selfishness)

Treat people better and most of them will think more highly of you. (I told you it was selfish, it is “about You”)

Maybe you just need a better night’s sleep to make it all happen?

After a day or two of making smarter choices and treating others better, you may find yourself laying down for the night more relaxed, less guilty, which can give you a better rest and when you wake.. you will feel better from all of the things I have just described.

We all have choices every moment, to frown or to smile, to say something nice or be somewhat nasty or to say nothing at all. Being a smarter person , you know you Do Have the choice in any situation.

Want to be happy? Happier? Go for it! Be selfish and be a smarter, nicer human being, sleep at night.

Be nice tomorrow.

The pleasure of a happy guilt-free mind is addictive. Let everyone you deal with everyday help you to achieve this, you need them to help, we all do.

 

 

Feb 08 2012

Bradley Tatum, IT’S A BEAUTIFUL WORLD

Bradley Tatum
It’s a Beautiful World

Official Site

If thirteen random songs were picked from thirteen random CDs off of the thirteen (in reality, ten) shelves I have in my library, the album compiled together would be, odds on, a good representation of my musical interests. It wouldn’t be a complete picture and the styles and genres contained within this mix would range from one type to another. The same can be said of most anyone, though some people are more specialized than others. Mostly, I imagine that everyone had a diverse ear and that to assume that one person is straight up a single genre does them a great injustice.

Ergo, what happens when someone makes an album that can accurately represent them? A good answer to that question would be Bradley Tatum’s It’s a Beautiful World. Contained in this collection of songs is music ranging from punk to electronic, industrial to elegant Victorian arrangements to goth dance rave fantastico.

The album starts off with “Under The Storm Clouds,” a throwback to the 90’s goth-techno familiar to fans of VNV Nation, before shifting into a subtle electronica-versus-metal guitar track entitled “The Others.” The electronic is flavored with the 90s boon in the genre, but to confuse this for a straight up electric record would be a grave misunderstanding.

Bradley Tatum is the creator of the horror-punk label, Blood and Guts Records. But since closing the label to work as a creator and not just an overseer of other band’s music, Tatum has allowed his interests to flourish and experiment. The result is a body of work that frankensteins the many aspects of a life deeply involved in horror-music.

The industrial-goth influence of the 90’s is felt throughout the album, though it’s less thrash and more dance. It’s hard to peg it down. A remix of “The Others” might be in your next goth club DJ’s rotation, the Baroque “Midgaard celebration” might be played at a Steampunk convention. In addition, the title track is an elegantly arranged electronic piece that might have been out of the seventies. It’s what Devo would have sounded like if Lou Reed joined DEVO right away instead of forming the Velvet Underground.

The influence of publishing and distributing bands like Serpenteen, Casket Casey and Rival Skulls is seen on “The Human Experiment,” which is a horror punk song fueled by a butcher knife-guitar. “They’re Drawn To You” is a classic rock song in the purest, almost Ramonesque 50’s style influenced punk. It’s followed by one of the many instrumental songs on the album, the metal anthem “Raiders.”

I can see someone having a problem with the variety of It’s A Beautiful World, as the shift between guitar and electronic can be jarring for some people. It’s an album mixed, with melodic strumming bleeding from one track into another, while mechanical beats shift, pause and start up again. If one picks this up expecting one type of music from start to finish, they will be surprised.

You’ll be surprised when you listen to it because you’ll find that you like at least one song. Then, you’ll hear aspects of it in another and sooner than later, you’ll find that all music is related. Bradley Tatum has shown you the way and you will be forever in his debt.

 

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