"What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter?"
Header image

Author Archives: Weird Jon

Full Moon’s Grindhouse Collection

Unearthed by Weird Jon on January 31st, 2012, 4:30 pm - in Movies - (0 Comments)

Full Moon has seen fit to release ten titles from Charles Band’s early days: Auditions, The Best of Sex and Violence, Dreamaniac, Famous T&A, Filmgore, Mutant Hunt, Necropolis, Savage Island, White Slave and Zombiethon. The reason why this collection of both theatrical and direct-to-video release is labeled “Grindhouse” will be revealed later, but first here’s a look at three of the films:

It's a good thing I'm no longer sick of zombies...

Zombiethon is a collection of clips from Zombie, Zombie Lake, Oasis of the Zombies, Fear, The Invisible Dead, A Virgin Among The Living Dead and The Astro-Zombies interspersed with original sequences featuring zombies chasing people into a zombie-filled theater playing the clips. The back cover mentions White Zombie, but no clips from that are present in this (or the original VHS version). The seemingly unrestored VHS quality transfer admittedly does help capture the “Grindhouse” look of the films, although the fulscreen transfer doesn’t. There’s some print damage and the occasional shifting colors, but it’s definitely watchable. While it mostly shows condensed “only the best parts” (and thus chock-full of spoilers) versions of the films (reminding this reviewer of 8mm releases by both Castle and Ken films), there is one point where only a single lengthy clip from A Virgin Among The Living Dead (aka Christine, Princess of Eroticism) is shown. I think that’s for the best, as the film does start to drag by that point and the film in question is easily the worst zombie film I’ve ever seen.

The original zombie effects, created by Joe Reader and Dr. David Lady, are neat-looking and appropriately match the film’s somewhat comedic tone. I particularly liked the armored cyborg zombie. Zombiethon does cheat at times, as Fear (aka Murder Syndrome) only has a single shot of a zombie and The Invisible Dead (aka Dr. Orloff’s Invisible Monster) doesn’t actually feature any zombies, only an invisible gorilla! Otherwise, Zombiethon is a fun way to spend a little over an hour.

(more…)

Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt

Unearthed by Weird Jon on January 30th, 2012, 4:27 pm - in Movies - (1 Comments)

Eye Yi Yi!

It was supposed to be a night of spooky fun. Jenna had invited her friends over to help set up her family’s annual haunted house and watch movies. But a combination of occult forces from her mother’s working crystal ball and some of her pals dancing suggestively in front of said ball have somehow brought one of the haunt’s props, a replica of the titular character from Full Moon’s The Killer Eye, to life. Now the girls are hunted down one by one, with the eye alternately attempting to impregnate or kill them. Can they resist the living movie monster or is the planet doomed to be a real horror flick?

I must admit, I was very surprised to see The Killer Eye get a sequel. As far as I’m concerned, it was an embarrassingly cheap movie from the time when Full Moon was suffering from serious financial woes that (in my experience) was best known by many for how the box art recycled themes from the Wizard Video release of Headless Eyes. Truth be told, I suspect that the sequel was made to take advantage of the Eye’s power to mind control/arouse women into removing their clothes, given how the cast is made of entirely of beautiful women and there’s wall-to-wall nudity. I found it interesting how the Killer Eye prop looked more realistic before it came to life. In all fairness though, the living eye prop from this film was light years ahead of the one used in the original (which can be seen countless times due to use of clips from the original playing on a TV). While several spooky haunted house props feature prominently on the cover art, they were thankfully not brought to the life in the film itself. The film also has tons of blatant injokes and plugs for Full Moon films, like the characters discussing Evil Bong and characters donning masks of Killjoy and the Gingerdead Man! That all said, it’s definitely a better movie than the original.

Full Moon’s DVD presents the film in a beautiful widescreen transfer, aside from the occasionally shimmering in the background at times. The audio is clear and while there are chapter stops, there is sadly no chapter selection menu. This could be a player issue, but I found that hitting “Root Menu” on my remote did not work properly at any point on the DVD. As the film is just barely over an hour long, Full Moon has seen fit to cram in a big selection of extras. In addition to the ad for hauntedcasinos.com at the beginning, there’s the Grindhouse Promo Trailer, Far Out Youtube Videos and Full Moon trailers. The Grindhouse Promo is a roughly three minute trailer for Full Moon’s Grindhouse Collection, which features ten films from Charles Band’s past. The fullscreen clips are all windowboxed and are of old VHS quality. I found it interesting how, in addition to pointing out when celebrities appeared in the films (usually prior to “making it”), they saw fit to put black bars over the nude scenes. Given that this was not the case in the releases themselves (and not the case in the main feature), it seems like an odd decision.

The “Far Out Youtube Videos” consist of A Cult Influence, My Super Ex Grudge, The Raven and Roid Rage. The first film packs tons of information (along with cool artwork and film clips) into its just under 10 minute running time. The mini-documentary’s narrator analyzes just what makes a film a cult film by interviewing everyone from the owners of places like the Hyaena Gallery and Eddie Brant’s Saturday Matinee, but also people involved in the cult film business. Although shot on video, the quality is very nice (save for a few instances). Sadly, the film is obviously cropped to appear widescreen.

My Super Ex Grudge is a hilarious parody of Ju-on: The Grudge wherein a man pays the price for dumping Kayako. It packs a lot into its five minute runtime, including a must-see end credit sequence and references to various female horror icons. It’s also SOV, but not obnoxiously so. The Raven and Roid Rage are fairly quick trailers for two upcoming films, with the amazingly awesome ad for the story of a killer hemarroid being my favorite of the two.

The trailers are for Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt, Evil Bong 3: The Wrath of Bong, The Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver, Killjoy 3, Puppet Master: Axis of Evil and Skull Heads. All of said trailers are widescreen and of good quality. Interestingly enough, the trailer for the main program seems to indicate that the killer eye is from the 8th dimension (as was the case in the original film), rather than some mystical force imitating the movie monster.

I’ve felt for some time that Full Moon has switched its target audience from older movie fans to a younger male demographic and this film has confirmed that to me. The overt references to smoking weed and the female nudity that make up most of the plot made this very clear to me. Don’t get me wrong, Full Moon does still support other viewers, it just seems to me that they’ve change. One last thought: When you get right down to it, it’s simply ridiculous that an eyeball-looking creature would be sexually attracted to human women. It’s like a human being going to another dimension and wanting to impregnate some Lovecraftian monstrosity with little human beings for eyes.

Special thanks to Full Moon Features for the review copy!

Evil Bong 3: The Wrath of Bong

Unearthed by Weird Jon on January 25th, 2012, 1:29 pm - in Movies - (0 Comments)

Made with genuine Namekian shins!

Alister, Bachman, Bret and Larnell really thought they had seen the last of any evil talking bongs after their last adventure. But although they drifted apart as a group, the arrival of a meteor containing an evil space bong will soon reunite them. After spiriting off two of their friends and announcing its plans for global domination, those remaining are forced to team up with an unexpected ally to stop this sinister invasion: The original Evil Bong!

Although seeing the rest of the film has improved my attitude towards the film since I reviewed the 22 minute preview disc, much of my original criticisms still hold true. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the film. Although I think the last horror comedy from Full Moon I reviewed was funnier, this runs a very close second. But when you have “bad day for night shots,” scenes were you can see the tops of the set not connecting with the ceiling and other such flubs, it’s hard to tell if they’re intentional jokes or embarrassing errors. While the film does try to explain why the “bong planet” sets are so cheap looking, the “they’re trying to create an environment to placate the human mind” explanation doesn’t seem to hold water. Nothing changes when various people come to the planet and while I appreciate the parts of the planet with extra props and blacklight effects, it still felt like things could have been much better realized. It also strains credibility that anyone from the past two films could have seen the space bong and not immediately realize that trouble was brewing. But, on the plus side, a lot of the jokes worked and the actions intended to take advantage of the original 3D showing weren’t nearly as obnoxious as I thought they would. One such example is the character Nurse Hookah, whose pantomiming the dialogue said by her employer grew on me and never felt forced.

I should note that the Pre-Release Road Show Exclusive Edition I’m reviewing removed the prompts for using the Sniff-o-Rama card (which is not included) and the widescreen transfer, while beautiful, is not in 3D. While there are chapter stops, there is no chapter selection menu and the only extra is the trailer. The audio, aside for a few times the music was softer than I would have preferred, is very good.

Unless you’re a hardcore fan of the series, I recommend renting this first before deciding to purchase it. Although it is possible to enjoy the film without seeing the previous two films, I suspect that viewing them beforehand makes for a smoother viewing experience. Only time will tell if the same can be said for the film announced at the end, Evil Bong vs. The Killa Crack Pipe

Special thanks to Full Moon Features for the review copy!

Puppet Master: Axis of Evil

Unearthed by Weird Jon on January 22nd, 2012, 5:21 pm - in Movies - (0 Comments)

We're baaaaaaack!

Flashing back to the beginning of the original Puppet Master, we see two Nazis enter the Bodega Bay Inn in 1939. Their mission? To capture Andre Toulon in order to obtain his method of bringing puppets to life. Toulon manages to foil them by taking his own life and hiding his puppets. However, said puppets are discovered by the owner’s injured nephew and he ends up running into the Nazis again. You see, said Nazis are meeting up with some Japanese contacts hiding in Chinatown in order to destroy a nearby manufacturing plant and one of them is posing as an American worker at said plant (where Danny’s girlfriend works). After discovering the secret of bringing the puppets to life, Danny’s attempt at monitoring the Axis forces accidentally results in the Nazis learning of Toulon’s creations. After killing his family and kidnapping his girlfriend to lure him out, Danny prepares for the fight of his life. Although not eligible for military service, he does have command of one of the most lethal armies around: Blade, Tunneler and the rest of Toulon’s creations.

After the poorly-received Puppet Master: The Legacy and (the apparently non-canon) Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, Full Moon was clearly trying to recreate what made Puppet Master III such a hit. David DeCoteau was tapped to direct, the film was set during World War II and a new puppet was going to be introduced. Sadly, the resulting film is only of interest to the most diehard of diehard fans of the series and has an infuriating Pirates of the Caribbean II-style non-ending. I wanted to love this movie, I really did. But sadly, the end product made that impossible.

Why? Well, besides the terrible acting there’s the cheap sets, (mostly) terrible puppet effects and awful writing. For example, how can Danny immediately find a secret hiding place the Nazis were unaware of and why doesn’t he revive all of the puppets he finds? Oh, and his choice of puppet when he needs to do a little surveillance/attack mission? Jester. Although I’m a fan of that character, it should be obvious that he rarely does anything combat-related and is the wrong choice for the job. Then again, considering that Danny immediately deduced a puppet was alive when it moved (rather than assume it’s a vintage automaton), I probably shouldn’t expect intelligent decisions from him. I also found it hilarious that a leech that’s been chewed up can instantly kill someone.
Aside for few shots of Blade that live up to standard set by the original series, most of the puppets seem a bit “off.” I know the series will never be quite the same without David Allen, but come on! The new puppet, Ninja, is pretty bland for the most part and, in my opinion, looks like he’s made from Crayola Model Magic. While the attempt to tie the film with the events of the first is pretty cool, the film stock doesn’t quite match and I foresee more continuity errors being spawned as a result of this.

While the audio was fine, there were some visual issues with the widescreen transfer that may or may not be due to the player I was using. Most of the scenes had a subdued color scheme and seemed a bit saturated at times. It was jarring to see the traditional glowing green fluid that animates the puppets appearing as a dull yellow (although it looked normal in the trailers shown on other Full Moon DVDs I’ve reviewed). While the image was clear, it often made certain flaws worse. I really shouldn’t be able to point out the uneven globs of makeup on a character’s face or count all the fold marks on a flag decorating a wall.

Thankfully, there’s a nice selection of extras. First is “The Making of Evil,” a collection of 13 videos showing the film being made in China. Originally shown on Youtube, these informative videos clock in at well over an hour. That said, I prefer the similar videos showcased in Killjoy 3. Next is “No Strings Attached,” the VideoZone segment from the original release of Puppet Master. For a more in-depth look at this segment, please see my review of the first movie. Finally, there’s trailers for every canon installment of the franchise, which makes the lack of similar extras on the Subspecies Blu-Ray even more puzzling. I should note that, according to this, the special features are “not 1080i resolution, but 480p” resolution.

So, unless you’re planning on a Mystery Science Theater 3000-style commentary session with friends or are a series completist, I advise you to stick with the classic Puppet Master films. If you absolutely must own it, then I recommend the release that bundles it with the first film, along with some other goodies. Here’s hoping that any future installments will be a major improvement.

Special thanks to Full Moon Features for the review copy!

Subspecies

Unearthed by Weird Jon on January 13th, 2012, 1:27 pm - in Movies - (0 Comments)

 An' the Gobble-uns 'at gits you   Ef you  Don't  Watch Out!

When Mara, Michelle, and Lillian traveled to Romania to study local superstitions for a college course, they had no idea the legends of vampires in Castle Vladislas were true. They also had no idea their new friend Stefan is actually a vampire at war with his evil brother Radu over the Bloodstone, a sacred relic that oozes blood. But these facts soon become aware to them and the fight for their lives begins. But with both brothers falling for Michelle and Radu’s ability to generate creatures from drops of his blood, this won’t be a typical vampire movie.

Since its release in 1991, Subspecies has proven to be a popular franchise for Full Moon. Although it doesn’t have as many installments as the Puppet Master series, the Subspecies franchise is still a force to be reckoned with despite the last installment having been released back in 1998 and Subspecies is well-deserving of its status as a classic Full Moon film. The titular subspecies, while obviously there due to Charles Band’s fascination with little monsters, are an admittedly interesting addition to the vampire myth, as is the Bloodstone. Speaking of effects, Radu’s makeup effects are both very impressive and return the character to the original concept of vampires as vile, corpselike monsters rather than romantic heartthrobs. Also adding to the overall effect are horror legend Angus Scrimm’s cameo and how it was filmed in Romania (aka where what used to be Transylvania is now located).

For this 20th anniversary Blu-Ray edition, Full Moon Features has presented a beautiful widescreen transfer and great stereo track. This must make a huge difference to those who have only seen the original, cropped VHS version. As far bonus material, there’s the informative VideoZone segment from the original release featuring around 10 minutes worth of behind-the-scenes goodness. My favorite part was when footage of the original (but abandoned) method of realizing Radu’s minions via men in costumes was soon. While I agree that David Allen’s stop-motion creations are much better looking, I do appreciate being able to see the rejected material. There’s also widescreen trailers for Evil Bong 3, The Gingerdead Man 3, Killjoy 3, Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons, Puppet Master: Axis of Evil and Skullheads. Bizarrely, there are no trailers for any of the other Subspecies films, let alone spin-offs like Vampire Journals or the pseudo spin-off Decadent Evil series (all of which are available on DVD).

Here’s another piece of news that should be of interest to Subspecies fans: Full Moon has announced a fifth installment of the series! Here’s hoping we’ll continue to see more of Radu and his minions in the future!

Special thanks to Full Moon Features for the review copy!

New Year, Full Moon

Unearthed by Weird Jon on January 4th, 2012, 1:25 pm - in News - (0 Comments)

2012. It’s a brand new year. We have lots of plans here at Gravedigger’s Local 16. First is our eventually taking down our Blogspot page. Although it was the site’s birthplace, there’s no real point in keeping up something that isn’t updated anymore. We’re aiming for having it taken down and converted into a redirection page to this site sometime by the end of January. More importantly, this month is going to be devoted to reviews of Full Moon movies! That’s right, I’ll be covering everything from their early films to their most recent offerings. The others might be joining in too! For those who don’t care for Full Moon’s output, there’s always the (soon to be) revived Tuesday uEtsy.

So as you wait for all these great new events, why not take a look at these classic GdL16 Full Moon articles:

Killjoy 3
Oblivion
Puppet Master
Full Moon Direct
The Haunted Casino
Evil Bong 3D Sneak Peek
The Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver

Music to Game By

Unearthed by Weird Jon on December 31st, 2011, 2:50 pm - in Music - (0 Comments)

Although Free RPG Day has long since come and gone, I have still decided to revisit the use of music in gaming sessions. Since I last discussed the subject, I have found that the amount of RPG tie-in music is much larger than previously thought. Some soundtrack albums seem to be inspired by games rather than intended for gaming use, while others are definitely meant for use during play. There’s also music designed without any particular role-playing game in mind. I even found a case where the RPG scenario and soundtrack were never released, a case where the planned RPG was never released, but the soundtrack was and a case where an RPG adventure was written around a preexisting CD!

In the past, I have reviewed numerous spooky music CDs under the banner “Music to Haunt By.” While my reviews focused on their use in haunted houses and Halloween displays, the albums they covered could also be used during RPG sessions. With that in mind, I am linking back to those articles here, in addition to making game-related suggestions and observations. Of course, your mileage may vary.

Midnight Syndicate – This group is a natural first for the list, given that they recorded the official Dungeons & Dragons soundtrack. The first of the albums reviewed in that link, The 13th Hour, is a collection of soundscapes and atmospheric music perfect for an adventure set in a haunted mansion in just about any roleplaying system (with the track “Return of the Ancient Ones” also allowing use with The Call of Cthulhu and other such RPGs). In fact, I would recommend playing the first two tracks prior to even letting players role-play setting foot in the house. Some purists might avoid using “Hand in Hand Again,” a track made using a real song from 1919, for games set before then, but I doubt most players will know or care (unless you’re playing such an adventure in a Dungeons & Dragons-type setting). Does your adventure have a haunted nursery, kid’s room or playroom? Then “Footsteps in the Dust” has you covered.

(more…)

The Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver

Unearthed by Weird Jon on December 30th, 2011, 6:58 pm - in Movies - (1 Comments)

I'm (Not) With Busey

It seemed like an ordinary night at the Scientific Research Institute of Homicidal Baked Goods. Well, except for how FBI agent Clarissa Darling visited to try questioning the Gingerdead Man, who is freed when confused animal rights activists arrive under the mistaken assumption they’re animal test subjects. While making his escape, the Gingerdead Man stumbles across a time machine and winds up getting stuck in 1976. When the edible evil one stalks a roller boogie rink, only one person can stop him: the rink owner’s telekinetic niece Cherry. And it only gets weirder from there…

The Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver (originally promoted as Gingerdead Man 3: Roller Boogieman) is an oddball comedy that features one of the most bizarre endings I’ve ever seen. As you’ve no doubt deduced from my brief synopsis, large chunks of the film are parodies of either Silence of the Lambs and Carrie (depending on the scene), with one segment referencing the shower scene from Porky’s. Sometimes they play out almost exactly like the original (save for a few comedic alterations) and other times offer a much broader parody of the original events. Although I didn’t laugh at everything, the inmates at the Scientific Research Institute of Homicidal Baked Goods are a hoot, as are the threesome scene and how the Ginderdead Man talks like Hannibal Lecter whenever he’s in the presence of Clarissa Darling. The Gingerdead Man is probably the only Full Moon creation whose cheesy puppet effects actually work in favor of the movie’s overall feel. Also adding to the humor is John Carl Buechler’s voicing of the titular character, replacing John Vulich from the previous film (who in turn replaced Gary Busey). I should also note that one scene from the film features winners of a Full Moon contest, not unlike a certain promotion Full Moon offered a few years back.

In addition to the beautiful widescreen transfer, the Pre-Release Fan Edition also includes a nice little selection of trailers for films like Killjoy 3, Puppet Master: Axis of Evil, Evil Bong II: King Bong, The Gingerdead Man 2, Dangerous Worry Dolls and The Gingerdead Man 3. All of which are widescreen and great quality, as one would expect given their (fairly) recently made nature. I should note that the and trailers are the exact same ones from the Killjoy 3 and Puppet Master DVDs. Sadly, there is no “Play All” option. Although there are chapter stops, there’s no chapter selection menu! Full Moon seriously needs to knock off this “streamlining” stuff. NOW.

I have to admit, that little psychopathic pastry grew on me and I can easily say that it’s worth a rental if you’re in the right mood. I’m hoping to check out the rest of the series sometime, especially the previous film in the series. Why? Because it has the Gingerdead Man wreaking havoc at a thinly-disguised parody of Full Moon Features!

Special thanks to Full Moon Features for the review copy!

A Mythos Carol

Unearthed by Weird Jon on December 25th, 2011, 8:54 am - in Christmas | Music | Music Video - (0 Comments)

Seeing as how I celebrated Christmas with a Youtube video featuring a Lovecraftian Christmas carol by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society last year, I thought it would be fun to do it again this year. This year’s selection is a fan-made music video made by GodfreyTemple,: which was apparently approved by the HPLHS:

For more information about the song, be sure to check out its Wikipedia entry!

Merry Christmas!

Spine Chillers

Unearthed by Weird Jon on December 24th, 2011, 1:56 pm - in Audio Drama - (2 Comments)

Didn't I see that mask in a "Costume Crazyness" article?

Back when I wrote “Christma(dnes)s” in 2010, I used a quote from the packaging of Spine Chillers to show that ghost stories are a Christmas tradition in England. In fact, here’s the quote:

“Five exciting dramatizations of classic ghost stories, introduced by Derek Jacobi as the voice of M. R. James. Widely acknowledged as a master of the supernatural, James penned many of his classic ghost stories to be read aloud to friends, by candlelight, in his study on Christmas Eve. These five adaptations, originally broadcast on BBC Radio, perfectly capture the mood of nerve-jangling suspense that would surely have been present during those readings. With powerfully chilling music and sound effects, these rich, riveting dramatizations make for irresistible listening.”

Spine Chillers carries on James’ readings by having Sir Derek Jacobi (best known to sci-fi fans for his work in the modern Dr. Who series) portray M.R. James, who introduces each of the five audio drama adaptations of his stories as if the listener is a visitor to his study.

Things start off with “Oh, Whistle, And I’ll Come To You, My Lad,” wherein a man unwittingly summons a ghost after blowing an ancient whistle he found while on vacation. In “The Tractate Middoth,” the titular book is the object of a two interested parties, one a librarian and a woman from a down-on-its-luck family and the other a scheming old man. But what of the woman’s deceased uncle, who had himself buried in a special underground chamber after he did. “Lost Hearts” deals with the story of why a man does not drink port wine near the holidays, due to a horrific series of events at the house of his previously unknown cousin. Dark forces are unleashed by a well-meaning couple when the demolish an old summer home to build “The Rose Garden.” Finally, “Number 13″ has one Dr. Anderson becoming slowly obsessed with both the story of alleged sorcerer Nicholas Franken (who vanished in 1716) and the disappearing and reappearing room #13 at the hotel he’s staying at.

While extremely popular in his native England, his works aren’t appreciated nearly as much as they should be. His works inspired both Curse of the Demon and the works of H.P. Lovecraft. Not taking place in one set continuity, his works a free to explore multiple interpretations of ghosts. Some have them appear more as revenants while others feature beings that, save for a few differences, resemble traditional specters. One things I find particularly interesting in “Oh, Whistle, And I’ll Come To You, My Lad” (yeah, that story again) is how the ghostly robed figure in it is summoned by a whistle found at the ruins of a Templar preceptory and is blind, forcing it to seek its prey by sound alone. Is this merely a coincidence or was this story the inspiration for the “Blind Dead” series? Now that I think about it, the audio version adds even more features that call Amando de Ossorio’s creations to mind…

All the performances in Spine Chillers are top-notch, and both the spooky introduction and Jacobi set the tone well. I was especially impressed with his portrayal of M.R. James, whose effective voice is spooky yet amiable. Having compared the audio drama versions to the original stories, I can safely say changes have been made. Some are fairly minor, such as the addition of the protagonist recounting the events of “Lost Hearts” to his wife years after the events, and others are fairly major, like the endings of “Oh, Whistle, And I’ll Come To You, My Lad” and “Number 13.” Speaking of which, endings are rather sudden for the most part, which is fairly annoying considering the relative shortness of each episode. In fact, I found that the original written ending of “Oh, Whistle, And I’ll Come To You, My Lad” was much more satisfying than the one used for the audio version. Overall, though, I did enjoy Spine Chillers and recommend it to anyone who wants an introduction to James’s work but does not have the time to actually read a collection of his stories. That said, listeners who tend to assume adaptations are exactly like the original stories and never seek out the originals are advised to seek out this audio book featuring many of his stories (including the ones mentioned above), all read by Derek Jacobi. Having been aired in December 2007 on Radio 4, the liner notes are much shorter than the ones included with other AudioGo titles I have reviewed. That said, they are still a highly informative and very interesting read.

Special thanks to AudioGo LTD for the review copy!

More Christma(dnes)s

Unearthed by Weird Jon on December 14th, 2011, 3:54 pm - in Christmas | Holiday - (0 Comments)

We're snoopervising!

In the spirit of last year’s “Christma(dnes)s,” I thought I would share another collection of both weird and wonderful Christmas-related links:

The Abominable N. Oremac got me into the Christmas spirit by sending me a link to an article about a Christmas tree in Japan that’s shaped like Godzilla and sprays smoke from “its” mouth. Similarly, here are some kaiju Christmas cards and Japanese superhero-themed Christmas trees that I dug up.

Are you a horror writer? If so, why not join “Toys For Tots Horror Style?” Not only will you be helping a good cause, but you’ll also have a chance to win a great collection of horror fiction.

GdL16 musical favorites Nox Arcana have a great holiday deal on their website: You can save 10% off the entire Nox Arcana CD Collection! But get those orders in quickly, as the sale ends on Dec 25th.

Those who loved my past articles about spooky drinks are sure to appreciate festive drinks like “Mr. Grinch Juice” and “The Grinch’s Sour Caramel Apple Pie.”

Known for both Spawn and high-quality horror movie action figures, McFarlene Toys has released horror-influenced versions of Christmas icons like Jack Frost, a snowman, elves, reindeer, Santa and two NSFW versions of Mrs. Claus. As if that wasn’t enough, they also released a Christmas-themed Spawn action figure! Personally, I prefer the Bumble from Rankin-Bass’ Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer, but to each their own.

(more…)

The King in Yellow

Unearthed by Weird Jon on November 30th, 2011, 1:00 pm - in Stories - (0 Comments)

Where flap the tatters of the King...

“Along the shore the cloud waves break,
The twin suns sink beneath the lake,
The shadows lengthen
In Carcosa.

Strange is the night where black stars rise,
And strange moons circle through the skies
But stranger still is
Lost Carcosa.

Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
Where flap the tatters of the King,
Must die unheard in
Dim Carcosa.

Song of my soul, my voice is dead;
Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed
Shall dry and die in
Lost Carcosa.”

The evocative words above have undoubtedly sent chills down the spine of many a reader. They’re said to be from Cassilda’s Song in “The King in Yellow,” Act I, Scene 2. I say “said to be” since the play doesn’t actually exist.

Back in 1891, Ambrose Bierce wrote a short horror story called “An Inhabitant of Carcosa,” along with a 1893 story called “Haïta the Shepherd” that made a passing reference to a god of shepherds called “Hastur.” Fellow author Robert W. Chambers decided to pay tribute to him in 1895 by including uses of the terms “Carcosa,” “Hastur,” and “Hali” (a philosopher noted in “An Inhabitant of Carcosa”) in his anthology, The King in Yellow. While Carcosa was used as the name of a city in the novel and Hali became the name of a lake, the use of Hastur in it was far more complicated. In the story “The Repairer of Reputations,” Hastur was the name of a location despite it being given as the name of a character in “The Demoiselle D’Ys.” On top of that, the name is used several times throughout the anthology without explanation, although some think it is meant to represent a star. The idea behind The King in Yellow is that most of the stories involve characters reading or discussing the play “The King in Yellow,” while others seem to treat elements from the play as being real, such as the King in Yellow or the Yellow Sign. Other stories feature samples from the nonexistent play, which in the story is said to induce madness due to its harsh truths about universe.

Such a work of horror naturally caught the attention of H.P. Lovecraft, who incorporated references to Hastur, the Lake of Hali and the Yellow Sign into “The Whisperer in Darkness” in 1930 (which was not published until 1931). I know what many of you are thinking: “Ah, so Lovecraft’s inspiration for the Necronomicon was “The King in Yellow!” The thing is, that’s not the case at all. The Necronomicon first appeared in “The Hound,” which was written in 1922 and published in 1924 while Lovecraft didn’t read Chambers’ work until 1927!

But what about Hastur the Unspeakable’s connection to the King in Yellow, you might ask. After all, lots of Cthulhu Mythos stories connect the two and tentacled beings in tattered yellow robes are a staple of Lovecraftian merchandising and gaming. What about those stories? The thing is, Lovecraft never wrote them! The creation of Hastur the Unspeakable is due to one August Derleth. It seems that Derleth was quite taken with the Hastur reference in “The Whisperer in Darkness” and, seeing how Lovecraft had seemingly done little to develop “Him Who is Not to be Named” (aka “He Who is Not to be Named”) in his stories, decided to expand upon the concept himself by combining the two. This led to him penning “The Lair of the Star Spawn” with Mark Shorer in 1932, which featured Hastur’s first appearance as an entity in the Mythos. Things were fleshed out further in his 1937 tale “The Return of Hastur,” which introduced the idea of Hastur being related to Cthulhu (he also introduced his infamous “Good vs. Evil” variant on the Mythos in the same story). What Derleth apparently didn’t realize was that, despite Lovecraft focusing more on the character in his letters rather than his stories, Hastur and Magnum Innominandum (which roughly translates as “Him Who is Not to be Named”) are listed as two separate things in “The Whisperer in Darkness!” Despite this, Lovecraft never went out of his way to stop Derleth’s interpretation of the character. The only time he put his foot down was when Derleth wanted to refer to what is now known as the Cthulhu Mythos as the “Hastur Mythos!” In all fairness, though, Lovecraft alternated between seemingly implying that Yog-Sothoth and He Who is Not to Be Named were one and the same while listing them as separate beings in private correspondence. It’s also worth noting that in his short story “History of the Necronomicon,” Lovecraft has Chambers being inspired to write “The King in Yellow” due to the Necronomicon!

What about the mysterious high priest whose face is hidden behind a yellow silken mask that appears in Lovecraft works like “Celephaïs,” “The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath” and “Fungi from Yuggoth.” Given that it is known as both the “High-Priest Not To Be Described” and “veiled king,” the high priest seems like a good King in Yellow candidate. But, given that the first two works were written in 1920 and 1926 (with the 1929 poem merely referencing those past works), it is impossible for Lovecraft to have based the character on Chambers’ creation. That hasn’t stopped people from linking the two, though. Some claim that the yellow-clad Dreamlands avatar of Nyarlathotep is actually the High Priest.

In addition to Chambers, Lovecraft and Derleth, numerous other writers have paid tribute to the King in Yellow in their work. Famed crime fiction author Raymond Chandler even included a reference to it in his short story “The King in Yellow,” in which the protagonist remarks that a murdered man in torn yellow pajamas reminds him of a book he once read! Although most of these works are unable in complete form online, I did manage to find two works to further complement the above-linked stories and prose. First is Lin Carter’s “The Candidate,” a selection from his poem “Dreams from R’yleh” that combines the “High-Priest Not To Be Described” and the King in Yellow. “To Every Thing There Is A Season” by Dru Pagliassotti uses the Hastur interpretation of the King in Yellow in a humorous tale involving Deep Ones. Perhaps the most prolific writer in the field of “The King in Yellow” tributes is Joseph S. Pulver, who has written 30 such works so far. You can learn more by visiting his website.

Calls for Cthulhu

Unearthed by Weird Jon on November 29th, 2011, 1:00 pm - in Video - (0 Comments)

It’s no secret that I’m fond of posting humorous Lovecraftian videos here at Gravedigger’s Local 16. So when I heard that someone decided to play off the name “The Call of Cthulhu” by doing a series featuring the high priest of the Great Old Ones as the host of a call-in show, I was very intrigued. What better way to get you started than by showing you the first episode, as uploaded by techbear:

Interestingly enough, the rest of the series can be found on BrandG’s Youtube channel. The official website also has lots of interesting stuff, including the lost episode!

Night of the Thanksliving Dead

Unearthed by Weird Jon on November 24th, 2011, 8:18 am - in Art | Holiday - (0 Comments)

Ye:  Your Brainf

The amazing picture above is the work of the very talented Brandon Leach. How did I find the image? I stumbled across it while checking out the wall on the Facebook page for the band Zombie! (as heard on our podcast).

I love the carvings on the trees, which are a humorous reference to the missing members of the Roanoke Colony. Interestingly enough, one of the theories for the missing colonists does involve cannibalism (but not via zombies). Although if we wait long enough, the History Channel will probably cover that angle…

Happy Thanksgiving!

Special thanks to Brandon Leach for use of the image!

Even More Vile Verses

Unearthed by Weird Jon on November 22nd, 2011, 2:07 pm - in Stories - (0 Comments)

Maybe that "solo XP" idea wasn't so wise after all...

After doing two lengthy installments in the “Vile Verses” series, I had foolishly thought I had found all of the spooky poems I could ever find in my last entry. However, the recitation of Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky” in A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell made me realize there was still plenty of material out there. In addition to digging up “Jabberwocky,” I also discovered that Lewis also did another spooky poem called “Phantasmmagoria.”

Speaking of authors whose work has been beloved by children, Ogden Nash has done his fair share of poems with creepy touches, such as “The Wendigo” and “The Tale of Custard the Dragon” (one of my favorite bedtime stories as a child).

Another poem from my youth is “Little Orphant Annie,” which my my late grandfather often recited for me. While the name might not seem scary or even make grammatical sense, reading the poem (and its Wikipedia article) will explain everything. That last article also notes how the poem was based on true events from the author’s life. Given that both the author and inspiration for Annie are Caucasian, the use of “Mammy” seems to be part of the poem’s attempt at capturing a regional dialect rather than reference offensive stereotypes.

Cry of the Banshee is an odd case. Although the film was claimed to be an adaptation of a poem by Edgar Allan Poe in publicity materials, no work by Poe with that title exists. The film was also promoted with this short poem, but it cannot be found among Poe’s works. Research led to a play of the same name (written ling after the film was released) that quoted a supposed Poe work, but further research revealed that said work doesn’t seem to exist! So was AIP telling a bald-face lie by claiming the film had a Poe connection? Not exactly, as they did insert a select few lines from Poe’s “The Bells” in the film’s opening, similar to what they had done to turn The Haunted Palace and The Conqueror Worm into “Poe films.”

Speaking of films and poems, Pumpkinhead is said to be based on a poem by one Ed Justin, which you can read here. While the article casts doubt on this due to its apparent unavailability prior to the film, this doesn’t necessarily mean it wasn’t based on a real poem. For example, the story “The Greatest Gift” wasn’t published until long after it was filmed as It’s a Wonderful Life (said story is a major reason why the film was found to not truly be in the public domain) and Sopranos creator David Chase’s unpublished novel Still Life was adapted into Grave of the Vampire.

Not only is Bertolt Brecht’s “The Swamp” full of creepy imagery, but it’s also inspired by horror legend Peter Lorre!

Speaking of inspirations, both the title and plot elements of Suspiria were influenced by Thomas De Quincey’s prose poem “Suspiria de Profundis” (which translates as “Sighs from the depths”). Here is an extract from it featuring the part which captured Dario Argento’s imagination the most, “Levana and Our Ladies of Sorrow.”

Although best known for “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” Samuel Taylor Coleridge has also penned scary works like “Phantom,” “Christabel” and “Sonnet: To The Autumnal Moon.”

Wikisource also gives us works by Nicholas Vachel Lindsay, like his Poe tribute “The Wizard in the Street” and “Ghosts in Love.” Speaking of ghosts, Ella Wheeler Wilcox uses them as a metaphor in “Ghosts,” Robert Brooke discusses “Hauntings” and James Russell Lowell tells us of “The Ghost-Seer.”

Stephen Crane is no slouch in the eerie poetry department, having given the world “Behold, The Grave of a Wicked Man,” “Mystic Shadow, Bending Near Me” and “Black Riders Came From the Sea.”

Kaiju haiku. It both rhymes and makes a great deal of sense, given both are Japanese. You can read numerous example of it here.

Google Books brings us numerous works by modern day poets, such as Glyn Maxwell’s “Haunted Hayride” and “The Man Who Held His Funeral.” It also offers a look at the famed horror magazine Weird Tales, which provides us with poems like Nancy Springer’s “Fear,” Lynne Armstrong-Jones’ “Bewitching Lessons” and Ann K. Schwader’s “Moot Question.”

Famed science fiction writer Ray Bradbury is no stranger to the world of poetry, haven written poems like “Which Shall It Be” (his tribute to H.G. Wells) and “Revivere, Rex!”

The preview for Adam Rex’s Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich not only has the titular humorous poem, but also ones about the Creature from the Black Lagoon and the Phantom of the Opera. Tera Chaney’s Poetry of the Vampire has just what you’d expect in it.

Yellow Rider and Other Fantasy Poems features many poems by Steve Eng, like “Grey Skater,” “May-Eve,” “Haunted Heritage,” “Vaingloria,” his translation of Guy de Maupassant’s “Memories,” “Destination,” “Below the Horizon” and All Hallow’s Eve.”

Finally, there’s also “A Poet’s Epitah” and “The Witch-Bride” by William Allingham, “Goblin Market” by Christina Georgina Rossetti, “Halloween” by Gjertrud Schnackenberg and the unusual “The Vinegar Man” by Ruth Comfort Mitchell.

Adios El Día de los Muertos?

Unearthed by Weird Jon on November 2nd, 2011, 1:22 pm - in Art | Holiday - (0 Comments)

As you’ve no doubt surmised from the title, this is going to be an article like “No More Vintage Halloween Insanity.” Although I have just enough material for this entry, it’s looking for and more like I won’t have enough material for any future El Día de los Muertos-related posts (but I will keep looking). That is, unless I find an online clip from the episode of Wildboyz where Pontius and Steve-o have a “Day of the Dead” cart race in skeleton attire…

The Google Books preview for Criminal Crafts by Shawn Gascoyne-Bowman has instructions on how to make your very own El Día de los Muertos bath fizzies.

Day of the Dead Crafts by Kerry Arquette, Andrea Zocchi and Jerry Vigil has a wonderful selection of pictures showing traditional costumes and decor relating to the holiday in its preview.

While not technically devoted to the Day of the Dead, Mindy Copeland’s Halloween Spanish for Young Children does provide handy terms that do relate to it.

I don’t know if Spooky Vegan’s El Día de los Muertos pumpkin spice muffins are a traditional meal, but the recipe sure does sound tasty!

Finally, Skull-A-Day often has images related to El Día de los Muertos.

For more posts related to the holiday, please visit:

El Día de los Muertos
Day of the Dead

Feliz el Dia de los Muertos!

Happy Day of the Dead!

Feliz El Día de los Muertos!

Gravedigger’s Local 16 is not to be held responsible for the content on or anything that may occur (be it good or bad) as a result of visiting any links on those sites (or constructing a project that’s detailed on them). Attempt at your own discretion.