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A Handful of Dirt: John “Dr. Sarcofiguy” Dimes

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A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

 

Author/Graphic Designer/Actor John Dimes is happily affiliated with the television show Spooky Movie Television as the character Dr. Sarcofiguy. He has authored the books Intracations, The White Corpse Hustle: A Guide for the Fledgling Vampire, The Rites of Pretending Tribe, and There Are No Bad Movies (Only Bad Audiences).

His comic book Gurlimann’s Bizaare Bazaar received 3 out 4 Skulls from Fangoria Magazine, and a “Dimes gets props for having a villain based on Charlie Chaplin,” from Ain’t It Cool News.

You can find out more about him on his website at: www.johndimes.weebly.com.

 

 

If you were the host of a late night talk show host, who would you have as your band?

My favorite most obscene/tongue-in-cheek band in the world to have on my show would be THE TIGER LILLIES. They’re from the U.K., and is described by some as Tom Waits on helium. That’s a true thing. I’d have them sing “Push A Baby Down The Stairs,” from their album “Urine Palace.” They’re brilliant, I tell you!

If you could resurrect a film actor, who would it be?

Can I answer with whose career I’d like to see euthanized first? Nicholas Cage. Where’s Dr. Kevorkian, for chrissakes?! Oh, he’s dead, idn’t he?! Heh. I definitely would resurrect Vincent Price, though. That there was an AWESOME actor. An awesome personality. Or Peter Sellers. No more Pink Panther stuff. But I’d definitely like to see him around some more. I loved him in the movie “Being There.”

We’ve woken up and in this universe, you are the driver of a car for NASCAR. Who is the main sponsor of your car?

Underwood Devil’s Spread. SPAM. Mr. Bubble.

A FOX executive (suspected of being under the influence of a serious of highly fashionable illegal substance) gives you carte blanche to design a game show. What do you come up with?

I’ve actually thought about this before, but you’d have the world’s most horrible bosses imaginable on the show, only they don’t know they’re horrible. You have a bunch of them competing against one another. They are asked a series of questions like:

1. How often do you reprimand an employee in front of other employees?
2. When is it all right to hover over your employees as they are typing a memo, or carrying out day to day tasks?
3. How often do you talk about your employees to other employees and staff?
4. When you have a project that has a 6 month deadline, do you start it immediately, or start it a month before the end date because you know you can galvanize the troops into getting the task done effectively?
5. How much confidence do you believe your staff and employees have in your leadership abilities?

Questions like that. Basically you give them a multiple choice list which are of course tied-in with the requisite percentage points. If by the end of the show they have garnered enough percentage points of how outrageously horrible a boss they are, then the person who nominated them for the show wins cash and prizes, while the bosses are exposed for the idiot he is. It would be hosted by Judge Judy! I’d name the show “THE CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES.” after the novel.

What is the number one bit of romantic advice you can divine for those who are unlucky in love (editor’s note: perhaps tying the advice with the upcoming Valentine’s Day Holiday Season?)

Hygiene is so important. If you try to kiss someone, and they can smell you before you reach them, you should think about that. Understand boundary issues and whether you have them. Wait for the “High sigh,” for permission to board a person. And lastly, and most importantly, if you’ve finally found someone who has consented to be seen with you in public, and they ask you the question, “Would you die for me?” Your answer should not be “No!: Instead, answer with the following: “Should the event present itself, I’d try my level best make sure we BOTH survive the experience!” In short: Chivalry is never dead, only slightly wounded. Or at the very least, it should be mildly singed!

 

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A Handful of Dirt: Jim Warfield of Ravens Grin Inn

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A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

 

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

Jim Warfield has been drawing and painting since he was 5 years old.  But it wasn’t until he was 38 that he was able to publicly show off his creativity in the guise of the Raven’s Grin Inn.  Part performance art, part art gallery Jim has become internationally known for not only his sense of humor and tours of his home but his ability to capture that same essence on paper and canvas.

 

 

Through luck and your uncanny skills at politicking, a significant portion of the world is named after you – where can we go to visit and what will we find when we get there?

Visiting that part of the world would only require a good night’s sleep because my part of the world would be a nocturnal dream playground of history (See “History’s Dumpster ) I have been there many times . The funny thing about it  ona technical side, is the indirect lighting. How does that work? I see no origin for the illumination, it’s not very well lit, just enough and we are all internally underground, inside our own mind’s synapses where history really does lie in wait via DNA micro circuits which are also one with everything that has passed before, as we were also there, in part, at least.

There is the old familiar ravine of cliffs and gullies and architectural parts and pieces of failed civilizations here and there, arranged not on top of one another but clear delineated for examination and enjoyment. No weather there, there is a roof an unseen one, filing these odd things away for ever.

 

You’re on a date with someone – they suggest catching a late night feature. What’s the title of the movie that makes you think “this one’s a keeper?”

Movie: “I Was Hitler’s Woman-The Herman Goering Story”

“You are such a guy, Herman, war hero, flying high above that hell on earth battlefield as I ran for my miserable life between the explosions all around me carrying scraps of paper back and forth as commanders had to tell each other that we were all dying there! How did you get to become a pilot?”

“I wish you wouldn’t ask such questions when we are in bed together, Adolf, it kind of distracts me and actually helps to kill the “Mood”.

“Just tell me if I’m “Hot” or “cold” when I give you a few of my guesses about that question that you don’t seem to wish to acknowledge, OK?”

“Can we do this with the lights “off”?

“NO! Positively NOT! Nein!”

“Well crap!”

“OK.’

“No! Don’t crap the bed again! At least stop yourself until I’m in position right under you, OK Love? You do make a real mess of shit, Herman.”

“That’s it! ”

“Wutt?”

“That is what we will call my aircraft factory to obscure my ownership of it (since my plane “won” the huge contract)

“Well, what are you going to call it then?”

“Mess-of-shitt!”

“Very clever, Herman, coded so the spies will not be able to figure out what were are building, since we are in violation of the accords. They will think it’s a sewer plant”

“Then when we engauge our full forces upon the unsuspecting world. they will be engulfed in that Mess-Of Shitt!”

“Swarms of shitters streaking across ..’

“The new sheet!”

“Whaa?”

“Pay attention to your bodilly functions at least a little bit, please!”

“By the way, Hermy, I need a new “beard”.

“You have a moustache, Adolf.”

“No, you know what I mean.”

“OH, well why did you shoot your Cousin anyway?”

“It was a misfortunate accdent, Herman.”

“Well, for Geilie, it sure was since her brain got deflated so quickly that dual snots pooped out of her nostrils half-way across the room!”

“All that brain -pressure pushing down on those mucus glands…”

“What color of a beard would you like this time Dolf?”

“I think a Braun one. Sort of one I could also bunker-down with when you ditch me Herman., I Know you are going to ditch me Herman, I KNOW IT! I KNOW IT!”

“Calm down Dolfer, you don’t want to start a war with me!”

“Well then, who may I start one with then?”

“Here, have a dart. Throw it at the map over there.”

 

What is the horror movie you like that most other people hate?

“HHHMM?”

I like some of the old horror movies that were black & white Silent masterpieces like “HAXAN” and Most of the rest of them made under such dire, crude circumstances when it must have taken a great deal of work to find financing and crew, ex cetra to even make anything happen , let alone the incredible products that came out, I mean they are just amazing works.

There are scenes in Haxan you will never see in another movie.

I must correct myself. The first time I saw Haxan we didn’t know there was a sound track, it’s in Danish? But it is a very old movie, maybe the sound track was added much later? Hard to tell when they are speaking in another language

 

What game would you make an Olympic sport?

US Men’s Bikini Thong roller blading team. My wife’s favorite sport from the comedy TV show The State, they did that.  Mine?

I think the 120 yard backwards hurtle dash. Imagine seeing trained athletes running backward  at high speed jumping the hurtles by guessing , counting steps, what a nutty watch this would be!

A whole new protective sports padding industry would spring to life, just as “Mother Necessity” shows up again.

Maybe the product spin off would create items for other people in other occupations, ex cetra from this endeavor?

The odd stresses placed upon a body running backwards might also lead to new health practises, exercises and the next thing we will be seeing would be the  class on “Biggest Loser” running backwards!

Redesigned shoes would be needed too. Maybe a special Winter race could be run through a snow-covered maze at night with a Jack Nicholson look alike chasing them?

This would be a kid’s race of course.

 

If you could use a mind control ray to contact every mind in the northern hemisphere, what would the message about a particular project you’re affiliated with (editor’s note: in this case, Ravens Grin Inn) that you would transmit?

Mind control over other people?

My message would say:”You need to be happy? You would like to feel better about life and self?

Why not?

You are smarter than they tell you, you know.

You can be a happier, better person, yes you can.

It all works from a small amount of selfishness (nobody will notice this selfishness)

Treat people better and most of them will think more highly of you. (I told you it was selfish, it is “about You”)

Maybe you just need a better night’s sleep to make it all happen?

After a day or two of making smarter choices and treating others better, you may find yourself laying down for the night more relaxed, less guilty, which can give you a better rest and when you wake.. you will feel better from all of the things I have just described.

We all have choices every moment, to frown or to smile, to say something nice or be somewhat nasty or to say nothing at all. Being a smarter person , you know you Do Have the choice in any situation.

Want to be happy? Happier? Go for it! Be selfish and be a smarter, nicer human being, sleep at night.

Be nice tomorrow.

The pleasure of a happy guilt-free mind is addictive. Let everyone you deal with everyday help you to achieve this, you need them to help, we all do.

 

 

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A Handful of Dirt: Brian J. Orlowski of DRAWN OF THE DEAD

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A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

 
In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

Considered a prodigy in his early years, Brian J. Orlowski set out immediately to disprove that moniker in great success. In the late 80’s and early 90’s, Brian became a stand-up comic (actually fairly good) and performed over a hundred times across the north New Jersey area.

Brian has been a graphic artist, technical artist, comic book colorist, multimedia specialist and eked out a certificate from the prestigious Joe Kubert School of Cartooning and Graphic Arts. He is a regular contributor to Girls & Corpses magazine and several other publications suffering from a lack of public awareness.

Brian’s first book, Strange Guts: American Septic, a collection of over 100 single-panel cartoons is available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com. It is the Far Side meets the Evil Dead. Gory, gruesome and goofy. “Strange Guts is a red-blooded horror fan’s answer to Peanuts, replacing the cute dog with explosively funny gore. I love it.” Andrea Amanda Albin, Bloody-Disgusting.com

He lives at home with his large, stinky dog, Abigail, and antisocial cat, Buddy. Every year Brian travels to the arctic to participate in the running of the lemmings. He is currently taking an online skydiving course.

 

Which comic book character would you do unscrupulous things in order to write/draw professionally?

If you asked me years ago I would’ve said Spider-Man. He was the greatest thing in the world to me as a kid. Now, I’d kill to have my own zombie series, like the Walking Dead. Not only are the undead fun to read and look at, they’re cool to draw. There’s no limit on deterioration, damage and gore. The messier the better. Plus, drawing dead people eating living people is just plain fun. Now I’m hungry. I like bacon. Bacon and dead people. But not both for food. Well, not normally.

What is a movie you like that would shock people if they found out that it was one of your favorites?

I think my taste in movies and my DVD/Blu-ray collection is pretty standard. 99% horror. I guess the 1% that would surprise anyone would be that I like digital animation movies. Ice Age, The Incredibles, Up. I have a bunch. I dig them. They make me feel young. Which is very hard to do. I think that the fact that I really like The Three Amigos would surprise peeps. Plain, stupid, fun. Kind of like me. 80’s comedy dreck like Spies Like Us and Funny Farm is a good way to kill a few hours and brain cells. But then again, so is vodka.

Being that you’re crazy rich and just crazy, you’ve decided to have an all day film festival at your theater – what are the movies you show?

If I’m the only one attending then it would be non-stop porn. But if I have to invite the general public it would obviously be a horror-athon. I’d start it with real classics like The Blob, Them and Night of the Living Dead. Move up to the 70’s with Halloween and Dawn of the Dead. Have to get The Thing in there. Evil Dead II, Aliens. Probably end on Shaun of the Dead. That movie is still tops on my list. If I included all my favorites, then the festival would take days. But I’d really rather have some Vivid movies in 3D on the big screen. And plenty of Kleenex on hand (pun intended).

What single piece (editor’s note: in this case, artwork wise. Bonus: please link if available) do you think is the best representation of your talent and personality as a creative mind?

I’m pretty tough on myself. I don’t think I’m a great artist. I draw well enough to get the job done. I think I’m more of a humorist. If I could actually get onto paper what was in my head I’d be serving time in an institution somewhere. Again. You can’t make me go back! No more pills! But if I had to choose what I’m probably happiest with then there’s Creepy Gene and my most appreciated gag is Achieved the Impossible . I think my Photoshop pieces make me the happiest ( http://www.drawnofthedead.com/photoshop.htm).

What was the best book you read within the last year?

Aside from my own? I mean, really, my book is fantastic! But kidding aside, I’ve read a lot in the past year. I thought What the Night Knows by Dean Koontz was one of his better books. The Warded Man by Peter V. Brett was pretty spectacular as a fantasy/horror combo. Several of Tim Dorsey’s books, I totally dig his frantic, ADHD writing style and violent humor. The best, and it’s an oldie, was I actually read Clive Barker’s novella of Hellraiser for the first time. It was phenomenal; the man’s language is unbeatable. But then again, Clive never created cartoons like I do. How do you spell narcissist? Which is almost an anagram of antichrist. Odd how that is.

 

 

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A Handful Of Dirt: THE UNDERTAKER of HauntedHotsauce.com

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A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

 

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

Would you buy food products from this man? Of course, you would. The Undertaker of HauntedHotsauce.com has “combined flesh-eating zombies with spicy food products to create zombie themed hot sauce for your Halloween party or other creepy event!” The world of hotsauce is weird on its own; the Undertaker and HauntedHotsauce only exemplifies how strange it can get.

Check out all the products available over at www.HauntedHotsauce.com

 

What was the last book that had a strong (negative or positive) affect on your life?
I don’t have the patience to read long novels so I read short scary stories and how-to books instead. The last book I read was “How To Haunt Your House: Book 2″ by Shawn and Lynne Mitchell. As a result, my Halloween home haunt, “Moonlit Hill Cemetery”, came out Fang-tastic!! I might also recommend “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark” by Alvin Schwartz, illustrated by Stephen Gammell.

How did you come into following your particular calling in life (editor’s note: in this case, Haunted Hot Sauce?)

I have an October birthday and went to Disney’s Haunted Mansion when I was an impressionable 6 years old so I’ve always had a love for Halloween and all things creepy! I’ve also always had a taste for hot sauce and spicy foods! Combining these things seemed only natural to me. I learned to make the kinds of hot sauces that I like, gave them creepy names, designed creepy labels for them and sealed them inside little coffins! Haunted Hot Sauce was born! (or “unearthed” as it were) I created my first prototype “hot sauce bottle in a coffin”, popped it up on ebay and it sold for $80.00! I knew I’d hit a nerve with zombie-loving hot sauce aficionados like myself!

What is an influence on your current work/upcoming work that people would be surprised to find out?

Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein of Misfits fame contacted me a couple years ago wanting to do a sauce. Doyle’s MADE IN HELL Hot Sauce was the excellent result of that collaboration! Keep an “eyeball out” for a new sauce by Haunted Hot Sauce’s Undertaker and Doyle coming soon!

Which music group/performer would you enjoy seeing chased by rabid wolves?

I would love to see Puff Daddy or P. Diddy or Dip Shitty or whatever that talent less, cocky f*#& calls himself, being chased into the forest by rabid wolves, while dragging a 10 pound lucky ham!

What would the Devil serve you for breakfast in Hell?

I would start with a couple extra-spicy Bloody Marys, their glasses rimmed with a mixture of salt and coarse ground black pepper, garnished with celery, green olives, a cocktail shrimp and a pepperoncini pepper! For breakfast I’d have a seafood omelette consisting of crabmeat, crawfish tails, sharp cheddar cheese, mushrooms, tomatoes and diced jalapeno peppers, smothered in Haunted Hot Sauce of course! Breakfast would then continue into the afternoon with some ice cold beers, served Chelada style with salt and lime!

 

 

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A Handful of Dirt: Rev. Jay Leal

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A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

 

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

Reverend Leal came to Nasvhille by way of San Diego, CA. He was the director of the hit web based music show BalconyTV Nashville, but has just recently parted with the show to focus on shooting, directing and producing his latest project, Skeleton CrüeTV.

Leal founded and established his production company/studio Rebel Rev. Productions with partner, fiance and “Hostess of Horror” Cali Ford as well as a Horror/Tattoo “lifestyle” called Skeleton Crüe Clothing. Rev. Jay Leal is a true Reverend, Fully accredited with Credentials recognized in all 50 states. Available For Weddings!

 

What is the worst thing you’ve ever done while inside a car?
I can think of one night in Fort Lauderdale FL…. but most of the really bad stuff happened outside of the car while I was driving. I guess technically I was “inside” the car during the whole ordeal.. and most of the blood did end up inside the car too… I’m just going to go with not using my turn signal.

Who would you least likely to see receive a prime time television show?
Jerry Seinfeld, hands down.

What is a part of your town (location, store, restaurant) that you think is under-appreciated?
It’s a toss up between the alley behind Layla’s Bluegrass Inn, where they hold the money knife fights ever Tuesday night or Rick’s Comic City… I don’t know.

What’s a movie do you think needs a sequel?
I’d love to see a sequel to Titanic.

If you weren’t in a band right now, which band do you wish you were in (and what would you play?)
I’m going to go with The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and I would be that dancing guy.

 

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A Handful of Dirt: W. Scott Poole

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A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

 

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

One of the noteworthy contributions to the genre came out last year with the cultural examination in ‘Monsters in America: Our Historical Obsession with the Hideous and the Haunting’ by W. Scott Poole.

From the bio on the book’s site:

Scott Poole grew up in love with monsters. Shock Theater on Saturday afternoon left him deliriously terrified as he watched Dracula, Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein and The Wolf Man. Comic books like Tomb of Dracula and fan magazines like Famous Monsters offered even more frightening fun…

…Somehow — and even Scott’s not quite sure how — he translated his love for monsters into a career as a historian and pop culture critic. A tenured professor of American History at the College of Charleston, he teaches a popular class about the image of the Devil in religion and popular culture and, of course, a class on America and its monsters. He is the author of several books dealing with race, religion and pop culture including Satan in America: The Devil We Know and is a regular contributor to www.PopMatters.com, an international magazine of cultural criticism.

You can follow more on this at MonstersInAmerica.com and on Twitter @monstersamerica

 

 

What’s a book that you love that no one knows about?

I’m tempted to say Monsters in America. But I guess it would have to Matt Cardin’s Dark Awakenings, a collection of fiction and scholarly papers  exploring the intersection between religion and horror. Clearly influenced by Lovecraft and Thomas Ligotti, Cardin wonders aloud about how the more terrifying aspects of human experience are religious and the ways in which religion’s object of desire, the sacred itself, may be inherently terrifying. Thought provoking, not for the philosophically faint of heart and deserves to be more widely known.

Was there a particular moment/instant that you can credit as the inspiration of your latest work (editor’s note: in this case, the motivating moment/instant behind your book?)

No.

Where would you prefer to live if the Witness Relocation Program finally has to move you?

Some kind of science station in Antarctica. Either the one from The Thing or the one from Whiteout, but without the aliens or the murders or any of the people. Then again, I couldn’t live away from record, comic and bookstores, so actually maybe Brooklyn. Bed-Stuy or Park Slope, not Williamsburg.

What’s the Valentine’s card you would design if given free range and no censorship/supervision?

I want to send Valentines to dead people, at least interesting dead people. So, I suppose I would design a card and a card company that would allow you to send a valentine to, say, Elsa Lanchester or William S. Burroughs. I’d even have dummy addresses where you could send the cards to in order to give you the feeling of being a real live crazed fan of a real live dead person. So, for example, you could send one to Elsa Lanchester at 1935 James Whale Avenue, Hollywood or something. Come on, surely there is a constituency out there that wants to stalk dead celebrities much as I do.

If you were to insert yourself as a character in a television show, which show would it be?

Possibly Seth Green’s Oz from Buffy so that I would a.) get to be a werewolf b.) date Willow Rosenberg c.) get to wander in Romania and Tibet visiting various spiritual masters. Or maybe Stringfellow Hawke from Airwolf. As long as I didn’t have to play the violin or fly high-tech helicopters and could just do the whole “brooding recluse in a mountain cabin” thing.

 

 

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A Handful of Dirt: Sam Gambino

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A Handful of DirtA Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

 

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

The artwork of Sam Gambino has appeared on multiple album covers and at event posters. His artwork captures the wild imagination of the golden age of horror, sci-fi and kustom kulture. Looking at his gallery is like listening to a bad-ass garage rock album with your eyes. Find his main site here.

 

 

Which wild animal would you want to have as a domesticated pet?
Julie Newmar, circa 1966.  That Catwoman suit fit her like a glove.

As an adult, what is your favorite Halloween costume that you saw someone else wear?
Phil Spector’s courtroom hair.

Was there ever a project that consumed your waking hours, almost possessing you until it was finished?
This happens quite often.  It’s called a Three Stooges marathon.

If you were to join the Coney Island Sideshow as a featured performer, what would you want as your talent?
I would be the bearded, tattoo-less man who is able to eat two coney dogs in one sitting while standing.

What is the strangest thing that ever happened to you at a Convention or specifically themed gathering?
I can’t recall anything happening at a Convention, but I was kicked out of a Sears and Roebuck once.

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A Handful of Dirt: Our Ghoul Jenn

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A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

 

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

Our Ghoul Jenn doesn’t care for your crappy Volvo. She’s the sleeper agent for sinister french ducks and biker tortoise-shell cats. Our Ghoul Jenn is both the voice of the street and the eye in the sky.

She’s SMASHING down injustice of those lactonic mofos that are all DUDE and no action. Our Ghoul Jenn has been one of the strongest supporters for GdL16 since the inception and we are honored to have her for this week’s A Handful of Dirt.

 

 

Which snack food can your friend(s) offer you that would have you lower your opinion of them?

The Dorito. The Dorito is an insult to the humble potato. Or possibly corncob. I can’t be bothered.

When was the last time you heard your favorite song?

My favorite song has not yet been created. The astrologers tell me that the artist for my favorite song will be born next month, and in 37 years time, she will write my favorite song. I await this moment patiently.

You are chosen to pick the ruler of the world – but it can’t be yourself – who do you pick?

I pick Batboy. It’s time he a chance to show everyone what’s what, and by that I mean, I’m sure he will smite all of my enemies, so bring him on.

What is the holiday you wouldn’t missed if everyone in the world forgot about it?

Thanksgiving. I don’t find genocide particularly celebratory. Unless it’s the genocide of spiders. I get it, they eat bugs, but they scare the shit out of me, so they have to go.

Which television show would you bring back from cancellation?

Get a Life. Chris Elliot is an undervalued talent.

 

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A Handful Of Dirt: Peter J. Lazarski of IMAGINARY MONSTERS

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A Handful of DirtA Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

  

  

 

The mind of Peter J. Lazarski is full of monsters. Having created Imaginary Monsters, Lazarski has made a comic full of beasties and brutes who are equal parts gruesome and whimsical. 

Dennis the Necromancer, Grizzledude and Lizard Wizard join a cast of hundreds of creatures birthed from Lazarski’s art style. With a pen that is as playful as his storytelling, Peter Lazarski is a talent in creating an adventure that teaches the value of friendship, self-confidence and sandwiches.  

  

What do you usually consult, listen to, invoke or watch in order to get inspiration with your current or upcoming (ed: in this case, the ongoing ‘Imaginary Monsters’) creative project?

I spend a lot of time thinking about monsters and drawing them. I read a lot of science fiction and fantasy books, watch movies of a similar nature, and spend a good amount of time hanging out with friends and playing board games or Dungeons and Dragons. Those aren’t the only things I do, but it’s safe to say I’m fairly embedded in monster culture.

Which Cable Channel, were we to force you to watch (at gunpoint, if needed) for a straight 72 hours, would drive you into a world of never-ending agony?

The Lifetime Channel.

Your sudden life choice has you opening a tavern – what do you call it?

The Witches Tit. I would serve Troll Piss and Dragon Breath. And coffee.

If you were to resurrect Vincent Price, what would be the first thing you’d have him say?

I’d ask him to say “Bird house” and probably talk to him about The Last Man On Earth.

What was your favorite movie growing up (that you don’t think is so great now?)

Most of my favorite movies growing up are still favorite movies now…recently I tried watching Ladyhawke for the first time thinking it was going to match films like Legend and Dragonslayer in production value, but it was a little too hokey and I ended up being disappointed there.

I will point out though two of my favorite movies growing up that have held up exceedingly well, those being Aliens and The Thing (I used to have parent-edited copies to watch on vhs). Both are awesomely suspenseful and gritty with real tangible special effects. Digital special effects are cool and expand the possibility of some films but I don’t think they work as well as make up and prosthetics in making a scary movie.



A Handful of Dirt: Thomas Kuebler

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A Handful of DirtA Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

 
In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

It isn’t unreasonable to say that Thomas Kuebler is a mad scientist, a monster maker and a storyteller. With a quarter-century of toy-prototype and animatronic industry, Kuebler now wears the hat of a freelance artist. Kuebler’s medium is sculpture, and his phenomenal work is outright stunning.  

Justine pointed out the artist (and subsequent mini-documentary on his work) in her guest post. For more information on Thomas Kuebler, as well as more images of the man’s work and news of where you can see it in person, check his site: http://www.tskuebler.com/.


If your blood could be any color (or substance,) what would you want it to be?

I think I’d probably stick with red.  I know that’s dull, but if I ever needed medical attention I wouldn’t want any distractions given to saving my life.

If you could pick a writer (living or dead) to pen your biography, who would it be?

My childhood I would want written by Saint Peter and my adult life by the Marquis de Sade.  Or maybe the other way around…

Can you describe the conception process for your latest (or a recent) piece of creative work? (ed: sort of what was the motivation to get you thinking about the work and what might have triggered the ‘eureka’ moment.)

That Eureka moment is a good question because there are so many different ways It happens.  A face in a book or magazine or passing me in the park, an antique store find, a Bugs Bunny cartoon, a movie villain, a dream..Or nightmare!  Once the seed is planted in my creative process, two things start to happen. The sculpting begins and the hunt begins. The augmentations of my sculpture are found at antique stores, flea markets, thrift shops, ebay, etc.  The picture starts in my head as a very blurry image that slowly sharpens as I work on the actual sculpture.  I never sketch unless I’m working out a structural problem.  I do use photo or life reference.   The face is the most important part of it all, and the character of that face is ultimately the real inspiration.  So, if you see me out there in the middle of a shopping mall or a super market with a dazed stare and a half smile, you’ll know the poor soul I’m staring at is gonna wind up as a freak or mad scientist in my odd little world.

Which song by The Ramones do you think accurately describes your life at this point in time? (ed: if you’re not a fan of the Ramones, feel free to pick a different artist)

Pink Floyd more accurately describes my sensibilities.  I tend to see the world much like the entire Animals Album.  Come to think of it, The Dark Side of the Moon and The Wall, too.

I’m kind of a cynical guy…warm hearted, but cynical.

In your opinion, is silver the only thing that can kill a werewolf, or do you subscribe to a different theory?

Nah! They just want you to believe that because they know most people are too cheap to melt down their good dinnerware and jewelry for the sake of Werewolf preparedness!

SEE,  I told ya I was cynical.

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A Handful of Dirt: Nels Truesdell of Kava Kon

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A Handful of DirtA Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.


 


 
Nels Truesdell is half of Kava Kon, or “the music you should be playing at your party if you want to be considered cool and sexy by your guests.” A mad science of music and fun, Nels and Bob Kress make some distinct and enjoyable music that will make your drinks taste better and your clothing choices seem more trailblazing.

Keep an ear open this coming episode of 6′+ for some unreleased beat-happenings from Kava Kon. Many thanks to Nels for this interview and his groovy mind.

 

 

What’s an element of a past or current project (or perhaps upcoming) that has gone overlook that you would like more people to notice?

A lot of the percussion done on the albums “Departure Exotica” and “Tiki for the Atomic Age” was beatboxing.  For example 90% of all güiro sounds  were done by my mouth. Than we processed it using eqs and compressors on the recordings to give them a more realistic tone. There are so many more examples of unconventional recording techniques used on our albums.

As an adult, what is your favorite Halloween costume that you have worn?

The Abominable Dr. Phibes. My favorite Vincent Price character and personal idol.

What’s the album you’d pawn three-quarters of all your possessions to get a copy of?

Kava Kon
In concert live on Easter Island
Date: December 21, 2012

You’ve been chosen to replace Steve Jobs. What’s the next iProduct that comes out?

ipirate radio. A little electronic device that hacks radio waves and speaker systems. For example, your sitting in starbucks sipping on some chai tea trying to relax but in the background some shit Barbra Striesand music is playing on speakers ruining your moment. So you turn on your ipirate radio and load your favorite podcast and it takes over the airwaves and soon you will be grooving to some quality tunes from the gravediggers local 16 podcast 6′+!

What song do you pick when you find yourself in a retelling of ‘The Devil Went Down to Georgia’ where Ol’Scratch has challenged you to a Karaoke duel?

Bauhaus – Bella Lugouis dead, only song I really enjoy to sing.

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A Handful of Dirt: Lima Whiskey

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A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

This special edition of A Handful of Dirt is in celebration of the following announcement: 6′+ is now available on iTunes. In honor of this occasion, we bring you AHoD with the creator of the 6′+ name, Lima Whiskey.  Lima was one of the driving forces that helped get 6′+ off the ground. Read the interview, subscribe via iTunes or head over to the 6′+ website to listen.

 

Who is Lima Whiskey? Is she a globe-trotting model-slash-ninja-slash-fashionista, expert wielding a wrench and a razor-sharp expression? Is she that one just now entering in her initials, beating your High Score? Do you think that’s her at that kareoke bar-bowling alley? Can she fly? These questions and more remain. Lima Whiskey is a mystery. Lima Whiskey is.

 

 

What is the strangest thing that ever happened to you in a professional (or semi-professional) environment?

I was booked at a lingerie shoot in Okinawa, Japan.  The stylist grabbed an errant pubic hair that was stubbornly poking through the mesh underwear.  “Sorry.  Can I cut?” Her scissors were already in hand, posed next to my crotch.  “Yes.”  I felt quite embarrassed. She snipped it away, muttered something in Japanese and appeared to be satisfied.

Which movie you expected to be horrible but found out was surprisingly good?

Showgirls. It is one of my guiltiest pleasures.

What is your current Favorite Halloween Candy?

Reese’s Pieces: buttons or cakes.

Three words that annoy you for no discernible or logical reason?

Fish taco, impactful, like.

Science has named a disease (non-fatal) after you. What are the symptoms?

Lack of depth perception, clumsiness, shyness, hypervigilance.

A Handful of Dirt: Tom Bagley

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A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.
 

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.



The multi-talented Tom Bagley (aka Jackson Phibes) has been involved in the world of spooky, strange and horror for over twenty years. As the frontman of Forbidden Dimension, he has produced a plethora of incredible music with that eerie bent and rockin’ beat.  As an artist, Tom’s pen-style is fantastic at capturing both the playful and the macabre. It’s highly recommended that you check out his Flickr account. You may see some work you recognize.

What’s the biggest influence on your most recent creative work?

Apart from the white lightning bolt on my dog’s forehead, I’m still into all the same type of stuff I’ve been into all my life, to a degree. I still draw power and influence from those quite often mundane stimuli.

I think a slight downside of life nowadays is all that stuff is so readily available to everybody due to the Internet, so I’m less inclined to physically go through my stacks of old horror and rock music mags and records languishing in my somewhat chilly dungeon. I can just sit at my kitchen table and look at the same images on my laptop, just like everybody else, look at (formerly) insanely rare clips on YouTube, etc. I love all those blogs that have scans of old horror comics uploaded on ‘em. Very cool to be able to read all that stuff so handily.

Although now, as a result, a lot of my inspiration seems to come from actually going out and wandering around in the dusk (with my dog), looking at the weird color of the sky, the black silhouettes of the trees and power-lines, seeing skunks and rabbits lurking in the shadows, etc. I get most of my current ideas from inherent weirdness in my actual surroundings, not so much from fiction – which is probably pretty cool! It’s like with movies too, I’m probably more influenced by stuff like “Demon Lover Diary”, “Mule Skinner Blues” and “American Movie” than I am by actual horror movies themselves. I’m way more interested in how people in the middle of nowhere (like me!) get the messed-up inspiration and energy to complete their own projects and get through their often difficult lives.

I also get lots of ideas from joking around with my wife (artist Kipling West) and my spawns, who are also completely weird, creative sorts.

What unusual skill/talent that someone wouldn’t assume you had from looking at you?

Probably that I make part of my living from teaching children some of the arcane secrets of drawing and cartooning, and that the children think I’m a funny, friendly guy. I’ve been told by one the kids that her mom regards me as some kinda degenerate hippy weirdo, which is probably pretty funny, as I’ve most likely done less drugs in my lifetime than she. Ironically, none of those kids would assume that I play in a punk-ass band!

Also, that I can walk around on the knuckles of my feet. It hurts a lot more than it did when I was  8 years old!

Where’s the farthest you’ve been from home?

Earth.

What is the one movie you can watch anytime, anyday?

“Legend of Boggy Creek”. Love that one. Also, “Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia”. If I’m in the mood for old B&W horror, I can still watch “Night of the Hunter” or the Val Lewton discs any time. I used to be way more into the gore, but since the late 80′s, black and white old stuff is where it’s at for me. A current fave is the original “Not of this Earth”. Been waiting for that one for years!

What candy would you give your worst enemy?

Tootsie Pops/Rolls. Fucking hate those things. Brutal.

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A Handful of Dirt: Michelle of Go Kat Go! Radio

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A Handful of Dirt

 

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

We will let the subject of this week’s A Handful of Dirt introduce herself to you, since no other words might lend her as much potency:

My name is Michelle, and I host a radio show called GO KAT GO! spinning rockabilly, honky tonk, western swing, psychobilly, surf and the like each and every Tuesday night from 8-10pm on WNHU 88.7FM! You can listen LIVE online from anywhere at www.WNHU.net!

I’ve been on the air since May 2001, but have been involved in the local music scene for nearly 20 years. My day to day life revolves around music…whether it’s at my regular day job at a commercial station, working on GO KAT GO!, organizing shows and events, promoting bands…my life encompasses the music and culture. If I’m not doing any of those things, then I’m going to see a band play live!

Help celebrate a decade of bringing good music to the airwaves by going to the official GO KAT GO! Radio site and joining the Facebook page. For those of you in the New England/North East, you’ll want to book mark the GO KAT GO! Concert Calendar, the most comprehensive of listing of music events.

What main motivating factor do you attribute as the main source of drive in your career (ed: in this case, we can say the career is the ten years of Go Kat Go Radio!.)

I’ve always had such a passion for music and the genre. It’s really just a way of life for me. But I’d say, quite simply, being able to spin and promote the bands that I love. Bands that aren’t getting exposure on mainstream radio or really anywhere else for that matter. And turning people onto a style or genre that maybe they never knew existed.

What is your music guilty-pleasure? (artist, song or album)

Oh boy! There are so many! Hahahaha! OK…here goes…Weezer (specifically The Blue Album), Creedence Clearwater Revival, Journey and 80s metal!

What meal/drink/foodstuff do you/would you make at home when you’re trying to impress people?

I am great at baking, and love to make fancy looking desserts. They take a lot of time and effort, but I really enjoy doing it, and I think it shows in the end result. Most recently I’ve made dark chocolate mousse in white chocolate shells and coffee meringues dipped in chocolate. MMMMM!

Someone decided it would be funny to transport you into a Igmar Bergman’ THE SEVENTH SEAL. When facing Death, what board game do you challenge him to play in order for your freedom?

That’s easy…Twister!

If you could make a book required reading for all grade/high schoolers, which one would it be?

Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!”

UPCOMING “GO KAT GO! PRESENTS” EVENTS:

Saturday, May 14th – A night of honky tonk, vintage twang and western swing featuring Girl Howdy WITH The Roy Sludge Trio at Café Nine, 250 State Street, New Haven, CT

Sunday, May 15th – Be prepared to be blown away by the heavy hitting, instru-rock-surf sounds of Alabama’s DAIKAIJU along with The Headcutters at Elm Bar, 372 Elm Street, New Haven, CT

Wednesday, June 1st – An early and intimate performance from Orange County, California KINGS of rockabilly…Big Sandy And His Fly-Rite Boys at Café Nine, 250 State Street, New Haven, CT

Tuesday, July 12th – The vivacious, titan-haired Los Angeles based singer/songwriter, Kim Lenz And The Jaguars PLUS The Colonel’s Original Recipe at Café Nine, 250 State Street, New Haven, CT. Rolling Stone raved, “If Elvis had been a woman, he probably would have sounded just like Kim Lenz.”

Saturday, August 13th – A night of swing and R&B featuring The Gas House Gorillas AND The Shiny Lapel Trio at Café Nine, 250 State Street, New Haven, CT

MORE GREAT SHOWS ARE ALWAYS IN THE WORKS!!!

(click each image for bigger)

 

 

 

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A Handful of Dirt: Caleb Emerson

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A Handful of Dirt

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 


Caleb EmersonCaleb Emerson is an auteur the likes of Woody Allen, Orson Welles, Clint Eastwood and Ed Wood, contributing a renegade sense of style to his filmmaking endeavors. Either bringing a great underlying performance of character as an actor (CITIZEN TOXIE, SPLATTER DISCO, POULTRYGEIST)or commanding a renegade eye behind the camera (DIE YOU ZOMBIE BASTARDS! and the new FRANKIE IN BLUNDERLAND), Caleb Emerson is a gift to the modern cinema.

You can locate the official page for Caleb Emerson here, as well as his presence on Twitter.

 

How would you describe your current/most recent creative endeavor (ed: in this case, FRANKIE IN BLUNDERLAND) – is it a continuation of a previous aesthetic/idea or a radical change induced by a newly discovered influence?

Well…is some ways Frankie in Blunderland is similar to Die You Zombie Bastards! and in a lot of ways it’s very different. First, the similarities: They both center around a very non traditional protagonist who is on a quest to rescue their kidnapped wife. IN DYZB!, Red is a goofy serial killer whose goofy cannibal wife, Violet, is kidnapped by a mad scientist. He sets out on a quest to find her and encounters all sorts of obstacles and monsters along the way who he has to fight.

In FIB, Frankie is a sad sack loser who lets the world walk all over him. His hateful bitch of a wife, Katie is kidnapped (twice) by his asshole best friend Tommy and Frankie sets out on a quest to find her (even though the LAST thing she wants is to be found). Along the way he encounters a bunch of weirdos and obstacles that he must deal with. Both films are sore of set in another world. It’s earth…but the real rules of every day life don’t necessarily apply. They’re both surreal and at times perverse and ridiculous.

But the biggest difference is that I think the characters in Frankie in Blunderland are much more human. There are a lot of real life feelings and emotions that you can (or at least I could) relate to. They’re mostly very unpleasant feelings…but they’re based in a lot of what I can only assume is real life experience. You’d have to ask the screenwriter, Marta Estirado about how much of that is true…but sadly, she passed away last year shortly after I shot the film.

So I guess DYZB! is more of a straight fantasy, where the fantasy in Frankie is more psychological fantasy or perhaps mental illness/unrest.  Strangely, DYZB! is much more of a gleeful film and it was made during a less happy time in my life, while Frankie is pretty dark and unhappy and things are going pretty well for me at the moment. That part I can’t explain. The tone I was going for in Frankie in Blunderland was “Combat Shock” meets “Repo Man”, neither of which are new influences…they’re just what I thought of when I read Marta’s script.

After being transported back in time (by a Wizard, naturally,) you take up your living as a barbarian warlord. What is the name that inspires fear in all your enemies and sends their children crying out in the night?

Peanutch.

What was the least romantic activity you once participated in while on a date?

I’ve always been interested in true crime stories and I go around and visit locations where horrible people did horrible things. I can’t explain it, it’s just always been a fascination since I was a kid. I spent a lot of time in LA in 2004 while DYZB! was being edited and while i was there I started becoming obsessed with the Masnon case. I had always been interested, but being in the place where it happened sparked something in me. Daniel Strange was editing the film and every couple of months  I came out to LA for a long weekend to work on it with him and every trip I would  pick one spot to go and visit because I would always wake up really early because of the time change. I never made it out to Spahn Ranch though, which was one of the spots I really wanted to see.

Anyway, the following year I came out for a week or so (the movie was already finished and i wanted to come to LA and actually get to enjoy the city) with my girlfriend. So, on Valentines day 2005, she and I sent the day hiking into the spot that used to be Spahn Ranch. There’s the main part that you can just walk onto from the street, but I wanted to see the depths so we did a 2 hour hike in from behind.

We got covered with ticks that were the size of M&Ms, stumbled on a dead rattlesnake, were followed by a loud, angry hawk and kept finding mountain lion tracks…just so I could see where the Manson family used to live 35 years earlier. I had an amazing time, but most people would find that an incredibly unromantic date. Apparently my girlfriend didn’t cause she married me 2 years later.

What’s a movie that you love that virtually no one knows about?

Well…I loved “Thundercrack”. Lots of people don’t know about that one.  I also really love “Reflections of Evil”. I recently found out that Damon Packard, the guy that made that movie lives not far from me and I’ve been helping him with his new movie “Foxfur” which I’m very happy to be involved with. He also edited the opening title sequence of “Frankie in Blunderland” and he’s in it playing the Convenience Store Clerk. I’m sure people who are into underground and cult movies will be well aware of both of those films, but I think they go pretty undetected by the general public.

If you could name a drink after you (ed: “the Caleb Emerson”), what would it be, ingredient-wise?

I’m not much of a drinker, so probably Turkish Coffee. The ingredients are coffee and water.

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A Handful of Dirt: Chandra “Spooky Chan” Free

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A Handful of Dirt

 

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.


THE CHAN-BATChandra “Spooky Chan” Free is currently working on the second volume of her graphic novel series, THE GOD MACHINE. In addition, she’s also working with writer/boyfriend, Andrew E.C. Gaska, on two personal graphic novel projects: less than three, a historical-fiction of forbidden love; and Boys + Girls, regarding failed relationships from the view points of the opposite sex.

You can find her current work, THE GOD MACHINE volume 1 for sale now on Amazon or in most major chains and comic shops. If they don’t have it, ask your shop to order it! Find Spooky Chan at her official site, her Facebook page and on Twitter (both @spookychan and @TheGodMachine.)

What element of your most recent creative project was a surprise to even to you (e.g. plot twist, character decision, design), so much that reminded you how exciting and fun it is to create?

I was working on plotting out THE GOD MACHINE not to long ago and found myself surprised at the random dialog I threw in. Typically you don’t do that in plotting, but this character demanded it. It was this weird vulgar dialog too. It begged me to question, “Did I just write that?” It’s those weird surprises that give you that weird sense that you have a full blown sailor living in your brain. Not to say that’s all, but it’s these weird moments that take you into the world you’re building, which makes it more exciting. I find I’m constantly surprising myself. Even just having THE GOD MACHINE in print and then coming to terms with the fact I wrote and drew it all astounds me. It shouldn’t, but there it is.

Having developed time travel technology, which album would you send back to yourself during grade/highschool?

Violator by Depeche Mode. Young 10 year old Chan would appreciate that album immensely to no end and it would start her earlier on her DM obsession. She had no idea who did “Enjoy the Silence” when she was young until her teens. This was a travesty.

You have a choice of gouging your eyes out or reading a specific book. What’s a book that would make you choose the first option?

The Twilight series. The biggest complaint (we all have) is that vampires do not sparkle or have immaculate lives. –AND lets not forget the bad writing (and i only know this through a sample of the “joyous” paragraphs posted online). It’s especially bad when she (the author) uses a lot of words and sentences to describe something basic to have the appearance of good writing and poetry. Example, she used several sentences to describe ‘a woman who is a waiter.’ The correct answer would have been one sentence with the word “waitress,” and perhaps describe what this waitress looked like, or something that indicated what this person was like to bring them alive instead of dwelling on how to explain her occupation.

Twilight has to be one of the worst ‘Mary Sue’ fan fiction-esque to ever make it.

After being selected out of a contest, which piece of American currency do you redesign and how do you change it? (include color, value amount, whose face is on it, etc.)

The 2 dollar bill. I’d put the Futurama Nixon in his bell jar on the front, mouthing “Arooo.” On the back of the bill would be Zap Brannigan signing Brannigan’s Law on the back of an irritated Kif.

If you were turned a Megaman Villain, what would your villain name be? (Naming convention: _____-man e.g. Magnet Man, Heat Man, Shadow Man) (bonus question: what would you name your weapon?)

CHAN MAN! With ART MAKER arm! I won’t be able to duck and I’d fall down holes due to my ART MAKER arm! So, really, I’d be a level 1 villain, that you could probably defeat instantly.