For those who are searching for unique horror items, one can’t beat Etsy.com. Each Tuesday, Gravedigger’s Local 16 aims to highlight one seller. If you’re looking to spruce up your look, redecorate your sanctorum or get a gift for that special something in your life, Etsy.com is your place for spooky econo.]

Grave Robbers Union Local 666

http://www.etsy.com/shop/grul666

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

Author/Graphic Designer/Actor John Dimes is happily affiliated with the television show Spooky Movie Television as the character Dr. Sarcofiguy. He has authored the books Intracations, The White Corpse Hustle: A Guide for the Fledgling Vampire, The Rites of Pretending Tribe, and There Are No Bad Movies (Only Bad Audiences).

His comic book Gurlimann’s Bizaare Bazaar received 3 out 4 Skulls from Fangoria Magazine, and a “Dimes gets props for having a villain based on Charlie Chaplin,” from Ain’t It Cool News.

You can find out more about him on his website at: www.johndimes.weebly.com.

If you were the host of a late night talk show host, who would you have as your band?

My favorite most obscene/tongue-in-cheek band in the world to have on my show would be THE TIGER LILLIES. They’re from the U.K., and is described by some as Tom Waits on helium. That’s a true thing. I’d have them sing “Push A Baby Down The Stairs,” from their album “Urine Palace.” They’re brilliant, I tell you!

If you could resurrect a film actor, who would it be?

Can I answer with whose career I’d like to see euthanized first? Nicholas Cage. Where’s Dr. Kevorkian, for chrissakes?! Oh, he’s dead, idn’t he?! Heh. I definitely would resurrect Vincent Price, though. That there was an AWESOME actor. An awesome personality. Or Peter Sellers. No more Pink Panther stuff. But I’d definitely like to see him around some more. I loved him in the movie “Being There.”

We’ve woken up and in this universe, you are the driver of a car for NASCAR. Who is the main sponsor of your car?

Underwood Devil’s Spread. SPAM. Mr. Bubble.

A FOX executive (suspected of being under the influence of a serious of highly fashionable illegal substance) gives you carte blanche to design a game show. What do you come up with?

I’ve actually thought about this before, but you’d have the world’s most horrible bosses imaginable on the show, only they don’t know they’re horrible. You have a bunch of them competing against one another. They are asked a series of questions like:

1. How often do you reprimand an employee in front of other employees?
2. When is it all right to hover over your employees as they are typing a memo, or carrying out day to day tasks?
3. How often do you talk about your employees to other employees and staff?
4. When you have a project that has a 6 month deadline, do you start it immediately, or start it a month before the end date because you know you can galvanize the troops into getting the task done effectively?
5. How much confidence do you believe your staff and employees have in your leadership abilities?

Questions like that. Basically you give them a multiple choice list which are of course tied-in with the requisite percentage points. If by the end of the show they have garnered enough percentage points of how outrageously horrible a boss they are, then the person who nominated them for the show wins cash and prizes, while the bosses are exposed for the idiot he is. It would be hosted by Judge Judy! I’d name the show “THE CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES.” after the novel.

What is the number one bit of romantic advice you can divine for those who are unlucky in love (editor’s note: perhaps tying the advice with the upcoming Valentine’s Day Holiday Season?)

Hygiene is so important. If you try to kiss someone, and they can smell you before you reach them, you should think about that. Understand boundary issues and whether you have them. Wait for the “High sigh,” for permission to board a person. And lastly, and most importantly, if you’ve finally found someone who has consented to be seen with you in public, and they ask you the question, “Would you die for me?” Your answer should not be “No!: Instead, answer with the following: “Should the event present itself, I’d try my level best make sure we BOTH survive the experience!” In short: Chivalry is never dead, only slightly wounded. Or at the very least, it should be mildly singed!

You can find the full-size version of this cool horror Valentine shown here. Also, please enjoy this gallery of creepy vintage Valentines from ZOMBIE!, in addition to the Valentine’s Day-themed episode of our podcast. If you want to see more work by the artist behind today’s image, please visit his official website.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Special Thanks to ZOMBIE! and Corefolio for use of the image!

For those who are searching for unique horror items, one can’t beat Etsy.com. Each Tuesday, Gravedigger’s Local 16 aims to highlight one seller. If you’re looking to spruce up your look, redecorate your sanctorum or get a gift for that special something in your life, Etsy.com is your place for spooky econo.]

Tiger House Art
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TigerHouseArt

Gothic Macabre Art Print The Grim Reaper Memento Mori

Happy Valentine’s Day. This week’s edition will not deal with the holiday because you’re quite screwed if you haven’t bought anything for your significant other by now. You might even be dead, which is why the artwork of Tiger Art House is a perfect choice to line the lover’s coffin you will be sharing with no one save yourself, as your jilted lover is the first to cast her handful of dirt on your body when it lowers into the ground. Or, Tiger House Art will help you furnish that efficiency, studio apartment or doghouse that you’re moving into because you forgot, you nitwit/

A bit grim but what is love but a grim wage of life and death? Sometimes, you win. And sometimes, you’re staring up into the face of skeleton, one that’s holding your broken heart.

Tropical Tiki God Art Print

It might be time to switch pantheons. Whatever divine entity you aggravated with your romantic neglect has certainly abandoned you. Maybe you should go Polynesian? Why not? First off, there’s less clothing involved. Second, the music is incredible (ps. LISTEN TO KAVA KON.) Third, the drinks. Even if you’re drinking non-alcoholic items, tiki drinks glow, smoke and taste great. This Tiki God Art Print is a good start to getting in the good graces of something greater than you.

Skulldar The Misfortune Teller Dark Macabre Psychobilly Art Print

We’re not one to say “we told you so” and with this print of Skulldar The Misfortune Teller, we won’t have to. Look back upon your misfortune with the added pain of knowing that there WAS a way to avoid all this. You could have made it easier on yourself but you decided to go your own way. Had you consulted Skulldar, you would have at least known what troubles were in store for you so you could have adequately prepared for the moment when the tragedy struck and turned your life to slop.

Gothic Horror Art Print Beware Nosferatu Vampire Wall Poster

Though, Tiger House Art isn’t all about misfortune and death. Sometimes, it’s about vampires. Specifically, Nosferatu. They’re warning you about them, though. That’s nice, right? See, you had clear warning about forgetting a somewhat dishonest holiday, now what it being a pink and red boondoggle for mass produced sentiment. Sure, you knew all about the oncoming onslaught of cards and jewelry but chose not to heed the warning. You’ll think differently now, especially since the warning is about blood sucking nightmares that haunt the night!*

*Not going for the low hanging fruit there.

Dangerous Machine Steampunk Art Print Wall Decor

Let’s face it. Women. Vampires. There’s only one other real threat to you. Robots. Machines are wonderful items of mechanical whimsy but they’re also potential metallic death merchants. Be prepared. With you alienating your allies and loved ones through neglect, you’re going to be more susceptible to taking comfort in machines instead of real people. This will lead to your downfall, as they will manipulate your trust to ensure their dominance over your weakened mental and poorly frail flesh state. Beware. BEWARE.

Dance Macabre Gothic Medieval Art Print Set

Ultimately, we all die. We can’t avoid that. It’s a scary concept, that one day your consciousness will no longer be what it currently is. Whether you become a ghost or simply shut down, it remains the greatest mystery. This Dance Macabre print might lessen the fear, or heighten it. It might also remind you to focus on those connections you have, be they romantic or fraternal. Life ends, and whether it is fast and joyous or slow and arduous – life is a finite entity. You only get one so make use of it as much as possible. If you screw up, don’t abandon your life Instead, redecorate it. Rejuvinate. Celebrate the passing of the old and welcome the new. And buy these prints from Tiger House Art. They’re fantastic.

You can find the store here. And find yourself back here next week for another Tuesday uEtsy.

To quote the description given at the new listing:

“Love is grand and ends up costing a couple grand once it’s done with you. In a Valentine’s day special, we get all lovey-dovey and hatey-matey on the 14th of February. With music from Bloodsucking Zombies From Outer Space, The Surf Zombies, Ding Dong Devils, The Phenomenauts, Dana Countryman and more. Listen and love or hear and hate. Whatever your heart desires.

We also christened our triple shot as Three Feet Deep. This episode features a trio of songs from Jim Vance, the creature behind Phantom Maximus, Ghost Runs Wild, Thee Wild Wraith and others.”

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes. We’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

Jim Warfield has been drawing and painting since he was 5 years old.  But it wasn’t until he was 38 that he was able to publicly show off his creativity in the guise of the Raven’s Grin Inn.  Part performance art, part art gallery Jim has become internationally known for not only his sense of humor and tours of his home but his ability to capture that same essence on paper and canvas.

Through luck and your uncanny skills at politicking, a significant portion of the world is named after you – where can we go to visit and what will we find when we get there?

Visiting that part of the world would only require a good night’s sleep because my part of the world would be a nocturnal dream playground of history (See “History’s Dumpster ) I have been there many times . The funny thing about it  ona technical side, is the indirect lighting. How does that work? I see no origin for the illumination, it’s not very well lit, just enough and we are all internally underground, inside our own mind’s synapses where history really does lie in wait via DNA micro circuits which are also one with everything that has passed before, as we were also there, in part, at least.

There is the old familiar ravine of cliffs and gullies and architectural parts and pieces of failed civilizations here and there, arranged not on top of one another but clear delineated for examination and enjoyment. No weather there, there is a roof an unseen one, filing these odd things away for ever.

You’re on a date with someone – they suggest catching a late night feature. What’s the title of the movie that makes you think “this one’s a keeper?”

Movie: “I Was Hitler’s Woman-The Herman Goering Story”

“You are such a guy, Herman, war hero, flying high above that hell on earth battlefield as I ran for my miserable life between the explosions all around me carrying scraps of paper back and forth as commanders had to tell each other that we were all dying there! How did you get to become a pilot?”

“I wish you wouldn’t ask such questions when we are in bed together, Adolf, it kind of distracts me and actually helps to kill the “Mood”.

“Just tell me if I’m “Hot” or “cold” when I give you a few of my guesses about that question that you don’t seem to wish to acknowledge, OK?”

“Can we do this with the lights “off”?

“NO! Positively NOT! Nein!”

“Well crap!”

“OK.’

“No! Don’t crap the bed again! At least stop yourself until I’m in position right under you, OK Love? You do make a real mess of shit, Herman.”

“That’s it! ”

“Wutt?”

“That is what we will call my aircraft factory to obscure my ownership of it (since my plane “won” the huge contract)

“Well, what are you going to call it then?”

“Mess-of-shitt!”

“Very clever, Herman, coded so the spies will not be able to figure out what were are building, since we are in violation of the accords. They will think it’s a sewer plant”

“Then when we engauge our full forces upon the unsuspecting world. they will be engulfed in that Mess-Of Shitt!”

“Swarms of shitters streaking across ..’

“The new sheet!”

“Whaa?”

“Pay attention to your bodilly functions at least a little bit, please!”

“By the way, Hermy, I need a new “beard”.

“You have a moustache, Adolf.”

“No, you know what I mean.”

“OH, well why did you shoot your Cousin anyway?”

“It was a misfortunate accdent, Herman.”

“Well, for Geilie, it sure was since her brain got deflated so quickly that dual snots pooped out of her nostrils half-way across the room!”

“All that brain -pressure pushing down on those mucus glands…”

“What color of a beard would you like this time Dolf?”

“I think a Braun one. Sort of one I could also bunker-down with when you ditch me Herman., I Know you are going to ditch me Herman, I KNOW IT! I KNOW IT!”

“Calm down Dolfer, you don’t want to start a war with me!”

“Well then, who may I start one with then?”

“Here, have a dart. Throw it at the map over there.”

What is the horror movie you like that most other people hate?

“HHHMM?”

I like some of the old horror movies that were black & white Silent masterpieces like “HAXAN” and Most of the rest of them made under such dire, crude circumstances when it must have taken a great deal of work to find financing and crew, ex cetra to even make anything happen , let alone the incredible products that came out, I mean they are just amazing works.

There are scenes in Haxan you will never see in another movie.

I must correct myself. The first time I saw Haxan we didn’t know there was a sound track, it’s in Danish? But it is a very old movie, maybe the sound track was added much later? Hard to tell when they are speaking in another language

What game would you make an Olympic sport?

US Men’s Bikini Thong roller blading team. My wife’s favorite sport from the comedy TV show The State, they did that.  Mine?

I think the 120 yard backwards hurtle dash. Imagine seeing trained athletes running backward  at high speed jumping the hurtles by guessing , counting steps, what a nutty watch this would be!

A whole new protective sports padding industry would spring to life, just as “Mother Necessity” shows up again.

Maybe the product spin off would create items for other people in other occupations, ex cetra from this endeavor?

The odd stresses placed upon a body running backwards might also lead to new health practises, exercises and the next thing we will be seeing would be the  class on “Biggest Loser” running backwards!

Redesigned shoes would be needed too. Maybe a special Winter race could be run through a snow-covered maze at night with a Jack Nicholson look alike chasing them?

This would be a kid’s race of course.

If you could use a mind control ray to contact every mind in the northern hemisphere, what would the message about a particular project you’re affiliated with (editor’s note: in this case, Ravens Grin Inn) that you would transmit?

Mind control over other people?

My message would say:”You need to be happy? You would like to feel better about life and self?

Why not?

You are smarter than they tell you, you know.

You can be a happier, better person, yes you can.

It all works from a small amount of selfishness (nobody will notice this selfishness)

Treat people better and most of them will think more highly of you. (I told you it was selfish, it is “about You”)

Maybe you just need a better night’s sleep to make it all happen?

After a day or two of making smarter choices and treating others better, you may find yourself laying down for the night more relaxed, less guilty, which can give you a better rest and when you wake.. you will feel better from all of the things I have just described.

We all have choices every moment, to frown or to smile, to say something nice or be somewhat nasty or to say nothing at all. Being a smarter person , you know you Do Have the choice in any situation.

Want to be happy? Happier? Go for it! Be selfish and be a smarter, nicer human being, sleep at night.

Be nice tomorrow.

The pleasure of a happy guilt-free mind is addictive. Let everyone you deal with everyday help you to achieve this, you need them to help, we all do.

[For those who are searching for unique horror items, one can’t beat Etsy.com. Each Tuesday, Gravedigger’s Local 16 aims to highlight one seller. If you’re looking to spruce up your look, redecorate your sanctorum or get a gift for that special something in your life, Etsy.com is your place for spooky econo.]

M.E. – More Everything
http://www.etsy.com/shop/MoreEverything

Caught sight of a hitchhiker taking advantage of the warmer weather for this time of year, dressed in a lighter coat with a pair of jeans. There was a bag down by his boots. There was no crudely marked sign telling where he intended to go. We don’t know if he was still there by time of this writing. Perhaps he caught a ride out of Leathbridge, having finished up his business after arriving. No one spoke of him but we haven’t asked anyone. Perhaps we’ll know more why he was here in the coming weeks.

Until then, you have better things, more IMPORTANT things to take care of. You have to buy things from M.E. – More Everything.

Punk Logic Undead Girl Fangirl T Shirt hand screenprinted FREE SHIPPING

Sometimes, you got to advertise the goods. “If you got it, flaunt it,” is the saying. And perhaps, it’s time to show off that you’re a proud, non-living entity identifying as gender female in this world. So, here you go. Direct communication is the best and that’s a lesson M.E. understands all too well. Purchase this shirt and send a telepathic TWEET to the central cortex of THE WORLD.

Vampire Stake Through the Heart – Hand-Carved Wooden Stake and Carnelian Sterling Silver Choker

Next week is Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t matter if you believe in it or not; it matters If the person you’re currently romantically involved with BELIEVES in it or not. Sometimes, roses don’t cut it (hint: roses usually cut it. Always send flowers, guys. Even if your lady protests, send flowers. And not just on Valentine’s day. If you’re in a steady relationship of more than five months, you can’t let three or four months go by without sending flowers.)

Ahem.

Sometimes, flowers don’t cut it (really, three times a year at least—)AND SOMETIMES you have to get them a piece of your heart, even if there’s a stake through it. Like this piece from M.E., you’ll be able to offer up a chunk of your most vital organ and present it with a sharpened piece of wood to pierce it. Cupid couldn’t have done it better.

Punk Logic Girlie Zombie Horde T Shirt hand screenprinted FREE SHIPPING

Make sure you’re never alone by taking a flesh-hungry mob with you wherever you go. Privacy is overrated and a shrinking luxury. Might as well go naked if they keep taking your clothes away, sock by sock, inch by fabric inch. Of course, you don’t have to go naked right now. In fact, we suggest you don’t. Instead, purchase this shirt and wear it. Make a statement. A statement that you will rather sick a horde of zombies than go naked.

Black Satin Ribbon Frankenstein Monster Choker FREE SHIPPING

If your lady is less in favor of stakes and more in favor of necks, here’s a lovely accessory that will catch the attention of any bloodsucker/suitor that may pass her way. Hopefully, you’re not the jealous type. Jealously clashes this time of year. Red and Green don’t go well together. That’s why Freddy’s sweater was those colors – it’s a pain on the eyes. M.E. knows this. That’s why they chose an elegant color to match the clasp on this choker. Trust them. They know what they’re doing.

Moonlight and Embers Fine Art Abstract Photograph Matted 5×7 Original FREE SHIPPING

M.E. doesn’t just offer clothing and jewelry. There is a line of vivid photography available for purchase. With this doomsday winter of warmth and cold striking different parts of the continental Unites States (and elsewhere in this wonderful, wicked world) it might be time to get some art in your life before it comes to an end. And it will come to an end. Enjoy it while you can.

You can find M.E. on Facebook under the Underculture Unlimited heading (www.facebook.com/ucunlimited ). This is their fan page for the shop, their blog, and everything else. As a note, “we give away something free with every 20th like (we’ll draw a name from the last 20).”

Find them on twitter: Sara is @mamasamess and Bryan is @odd_papa. Our Blog: www.blakowblog.com. we’ll be sure to link to the feature this week as well. And there’s Pinterest. Find them on mamasamess

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

 
In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

Considered a prodigy in his early years, Brian J. Orlowski set out immediately to disprove that moniker in great success. In the late 80’s and early 90’s, Brian became a stand-up comic (actually fairly good) and performed over a hundred times across the north New Jersey area.

Brian has been a graphic artist, technical artist, comic book colorist, multimedia specialist and eked out a certificate from the prestigious Joe Kubert School of Cartooning and Graphic Arts. He is a regular contributor to Girls & Corpses magazine and several other publications suffering from a lack of public awareness.

Brian’s first book, Strange Guts: American Septic, a collection of over 100 single-panel cartoons is available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com. It is the Far Side meets the Evil Dead. Gory, gruesome and goofy. “Strange Guts is a red-blooded horror fan’s answer to Peanuts, replacing the cute dog with explosively funny gore. I love it.” Andrea Amanda Albin, Bloody-Disgusting.com

He lives at home with his large, stinky dog, Abigail, and antisocial cat, Buddy. Every year Brian travels to the arctic to participate in the running of the lemmings. He is currently taking an online skydiving course.

Which comic book character would you do unscrupulous things in order to write/draw professionally?

If you asked me years ago I would’ve said Spider-Man. He was the greatest thing in the world to me as a kid. Now, I’d kill to have my own zombie series, like the Walking Dead. Not only are the undead fun to read and look at, they’re cool to draw. There’s no limit on deterioration, damage and gore. The messier the better. Plus, drawing dead people eating living people is just plain fun. Now I’m hungry. I like bacon. Bacon and dead people. But not both for food. Well, not normally.

What is a movie you like that would shock people if they found out that it was one of your favorites?

I think my taste in movies and my DVD/Blu-ray collection is pretty standard. 99% horror. I guess the 1% that would surprise anyone would be that I like digital animation movies. Ice Age, The Incredibles, Up. I have a bunch. I dig them. They make me feel young. Which is very hard to do. I think that the fact that I really like The Three Amigos would surprise peeps. Plain, stupid, fun. Kind of like me. 80’s comedy dreck like Spies Like Us and Funny Farm is a good way to kill a few hours and brain cells. But then again, so is vodka.

Being that you’re crazy rich and just crazy, you’ve decided to have an all day film festival at your theater – what are the movies you show?

If I’m the only one attending then it would be non-stop porn. But if I have to invite the general public it would obviously be a horror-athon. I’d start it with real classics like The Blob, Them and Night of the Living Dead. Move up to the 70’s with Halloween and Dawn of the Dead. Have to get The Thing in there. Evil Dead II, Aliens. Probably end on Shaun of the Dead. That movie is still tops on my list. If I included all my favorites, then the festival would take days. But I’d really rather have some Vivid movies in 3D on the big screen. And plenty of Kleenex on hand (pun intended).

What single piece (editor’s note: in this case, artwork wise. Bonus: please link if available) do you think is the best representation of your talent and personality as a creative mind?

I’m pretty tough on myself. I don’t think I’m a great artist. I draw well enough to get the job done. I think I’m more of a humorist. If I could actually get onto paper what was in my head I’d be serving time in an institution somewhere. Again. You can’t make me go back! No more pills! But if I had to choose what I’m probably happiest with then there’s Creepy Gene and my most appreciated gag is Achieved the Impossible . I think my Photoshop pieces make me the happiest ( http://www.drawnofthedead.com/photoshop.htm).

What was the best book you read within the last year?

Aside from my own? I mean, really, my book is fantastic! But kidding aside, I’ve read a lot in the past year. I thought What the Night Knows by Dean Koontz was one of his better books. The Warded Man by Peter V. Brett was pretty spectacular as a fantasy/horror combo. Several of Tim Dorsey’s books, I totally dig his frantic, ADHD writing style and violent humor. The best, and it’s an oldie, was I actually read Clive Barker’s novella of Hellraiser for the first time. It was phenomenal; the man’s language is unbeatable. But then again, Clive never created cartoons like I do. How do you spell narcissist? Which is almost an anagram of antichrist. Odd how that is.

[For those who are searching for unique horror items, one can’t beat Etsy.com. Each Tuesday, Gravedigger’s Local 16 aims to highlight one seller. If you’re looking to spruce up your look, redecorate your sanctorum or get a gift for that special something in your life, Etsy.com is your place for spooky econo.]

The Art of Chuck Hodi
http://www.etsy.com/shop/chuckhodi

Print 5×7″ – Wolfman

The art of Chuck Hodi sticks with you long afer you stopped viewing th epiece, in similar fashion to car wrecks and most religious experiences. There’s something about this artwork that is both equal parts amazing and creepy that can’t be easily shaken.

A master of reproducing the famous monsters of filmland, Hodi has a great knack for producing some really sick original pieces. There’s something about the man’s sense of humor that might get him locked up someday. But, until then, let us enjoy his work.

Print 8×10″ – Vincent Price – Horror Vintage Halloween Gothic Spooky Creepy Hollywood Monster Creature

Throughout his etsy store, you’ll find pieces that feature some of the stage and screen’s stars (and scars) such as the maestro Price, pictured here. From Ted Bundy to Pee Wee Herman, Huch Hodi has someone waiting for you to be hung up on your wall.

The Androgynous Ant – Original Drawing

Some of his originals are pretty demented. We don’t toss that word around lightly. Seriously, there’s something rather bizarre about pieces like this one, the Adrogynous Ant. It might get you in trouble with the law or your significant other when you purchase this but maybe you’re that type of an outlaw mind. We dare you.

Print 8×10″ – Elvira – 80s

Sometimes, Hodi’s art style really prestens a subject in a light that is excellent. This picture of the 80′s horror host, Elvira, maintains the woman’s sexiness as well as the punk rock/new wave style that she exibitted when she first came out on the scene. It’s very wild, and Hodi’s paintbrush was able to catch that feeling.

Print 11×14″ – Edgar Allan Poe

Similarly, the business of Hodi’s lines with this portrait of Poe shows a disturbed and busy mind, caught up in a thought process that produced a collection of classic literature of the macabre. Of course, it could also just be how Poe is disappointed with Baltimore’s failing at the recent playoffs – either way.

Print 8×10″ – Couple

Valentine’s day is coming up. That’s all what we’re saying on that.

You can see all of Chuck Hodi’s paintings at his Etsy store. And you’ll see us again, next week, when we return with another edition of Tuesday uEtsy.

You might remember how we asked our readers to help nominate us so that we could get on the The Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards ballot a few months back. Since then, we have gotten a nomination for 6′+ as Best Horror Audio and one of our writers has put in a nomination for Gravedigger’s Local 16 as Best Blog and seconded the 6′+ nomination. Yeah, it seem we were mistaken in our previous belief that such a thing was against the rules.

So, if you haven’t already, please do us (and yourself) a huge favor by signing up for membership at the Classic Horror Film Board and post your seconding of the about nominations here. The more we get, the better chances we’ll have of getting on the ballot. Besides, you’ll also be a part of a really cool place to discuss classic horror films!

To quote the description given at the new listing:

“Ah, the CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT! They make such beautiful music. Wait – no.They’re cold! And they’re hungry! It’s winter and it’s time to get hairy with all the WEREWOLVES. We’ve got tons for you. What is a metric ton of werewolf, you ask? Good questions.

Debuting this episode is the Monstermatt Minute. We spruced up the GdL16 recap as well. All of this comes with music from The Young Werewolves, Nox Arcana, Koffin Kats and more!”

You can find all episodes of 6′+ over at the official site as well as on iTunes. We’re also on Facebook and Twitter.

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

Would you buy food products from this man? Of course, you would. The Undertaker of HauntedHotsauce.com has “combined flesh-eating zombies with spicy food products to create zombie themed hot sauce for your Halloween party or other creepy event!” The world of hotsauce is weird on its own; the Undertaker and HauntedHotsauce only exemplifies how strange it can get.

Check out all the products available over at www.HauntedHotsauce.com

What was the last book that had a strong (negative or positive) affect on your life?
I don’t have the patience to read long novels so I read short scary stories and how-to books instead. The last book I read was “How To Haunt Your House: Book 2″ by Shawn and Lynne Mitchell. As a result, my Halloween home haunt, “Moonlit Hill Cemetery”, came out Fang-tastic!! I might also recommend “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark” by Alvin Schwartz, illustrated by Stephen Gammell.

How did you come into following your particular calling in life (editor’s note: in this case, Haunted Hot Sauce?)

I have an October birthday and went to Disney’s Haunted Mansion when I was an impressionable 6 years old so I’ve always had a love for Halloween and all things creepy! I’ve also always had a taste for hot sauce and spicy foods! Combining these things seemed only natural to me. I learned to make the kinds of hot sauces that I like, gave them creepy names, designed creepy labels for them and sealed them inside little coffins! Haunted Hot Sauce was born! (or “unearthed” as it were) I created my first prototype “hot sauce bottle in a coffin”, popped it up on ebay and it sold for $80.00! I knew I’d hit a nerve with zombie-loving hot sauce aficionados like myself!

What is an influence on your current work/upcoming work that people would be surprised to find out?

Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein of Misfits fame contacted me a couple years ago wanting to do a sauce. Doyle’s MADE IN HELL Hot Sauce was the excellent result of that collaboration! Keep an “eyeball out” for a new sauce by Haunted Hot Sauce’s Undertaker and Doyle coming soon!

Which music group/performer would you enjoy seeing chased by rabid wolves?

I would love to see Puff Daddy or P. Diddy or Dip Shitty or whatever that talent less, cocky f*#& calls himself, being chased into the forest by rabid wolves, while dragging a 10 pound lucky ham!

What would the Devil serve you for breakfast in Hell?

I would start with a couple extra-spicy Bloody Marys, their glasses rimmed with a mixture of salt and coarse ground black pepper, garnished with celery, green olives, a cocktail shrimp and a pepperoncini pepper! For breakfast I’d have a seafood omelette consisting of crabmeat, crawfish tails, sharp cheddar cheese, mushrooms, tomatoes and diced jalapeno peppers, smothered in Haunted Hot Sauce of course! Breakfast would then continue into the afternoon with some ice cold beers, served Chelada style with salt and lime!

You should head on over to our twitter feed. A contest had been on since this morning’s Tuesday uEtsy article went up. You still have time tho enter to win a piece of jewelry from FreakBang and Sparkling Bag Candy.

[For those who are searching for unique horror items, one can’t beat Etsy.com. Each Tuesday, Gravedigger’s Local 16 aims to highlight one seller. If you’re looking to spruce up your look, redecorate your sanctorum or get a gift for that special something in your life, Etsy.com is your place for spooky econo.]

Freak Bang of Sparkling Candy Bag
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SparklingBagCandy

Monster Hair Clip

Family. It’s a strange word that has taken on a greater meaning than the kin you share a bloodline with. The Leathbridge family included the Anglo-Saxon clan members but a great deal of the indigenous people who assisted Cole Leathbridge’s first outpost party were soon adopted under his family’s powerful shadow once the trading took off. When a lot of rowdy traders got out of hand and left a poor native boy scarred and limping, Leathbridge proved that family is a bond of blood, even if that blood is that shed by an avenging hand.

Family has a strange power in this town. Milo and Eva have settled, finding their own places after a short stint of living with their sister, the fortune teller, Madam Lady Ulster.

“Her real name is Nora,” Eva once said, snidely, to Hector one day after a particularly vocal fight between the two Ulster sisters.  Even though they can go at it like feral demon cats, you can still see the two younger siblings visit their eldest sister at least twice, every week. Family is a strange connection.

How you find your family is up to you. You could be adopted. You could discover them as your next door neighbors. You could be more connected with coworkers than cousins. It’s all up to who holds that power over you, who you let have that connection to you.

It’s with this in mind that we feature this week’s Tuesday uEtsy. Freak Bang is the designer of the Sparkling Bag Candy collective whose art coincides best with our spooky feel here at Gravedigger’s Local 16. The whole Sparkling Bag Candy collective is a collection of artists united under a particular aesthetic.

Taken from their bio, you’ll find that “…[Sparkling Bag Candy's] jewelry and purses… reflect[s] a zany desire for whimsical geekery and often outrageous debauchery…Sparkling Bag Candy is an Etsy Collective of 6 uber fun, up and coming designers who keep their thinking caps on while keeping a hyper focused eye on the pulse of Tokyo and Japanese based fashionistas and how its sweet spirited fun relates to reviving and celebrating the jewelry and accessory choices worldwide.”

That’s something we can get behind.

 Warlock Claw Necklace 

This piece is creepy as hell and twice as cool. It takes a certain type of person to pull off a Warlock Claw Necklace these days. If you haunt the turnstyles of those “alternative” franchise stores at your local mall but found the selection lacking, maybe you’re ready for something of this magnitude.

Be careful, though. Something tells us that claw might not hold much good fortune if you mistreat it. If you keep it hidden in a second-hand jewelry box or hanging idly on a crooked nail in your bedroom wall, you might see that it’s not where you left it. It’ll be on your desk and when you go to put it back, it’s gone. It’s now on your neck. It’s telling you things. You’re somewhat smarter, stronger now. You feel afraid but also happy. THIS NECKLACE – IT WILL KILL YOU IF YOU MISTREAT IT is what we’re trying to say.

Electric Guitar Necklace Zombie Rocker Skull Skeleton 

Do you know why rock and the dead have been so closely tied together? You should look that up.

Seriously, if you don’t have the ambition of the Sparkling Bag Candy/Whammo Glamo collective, you’re missing something in your life. They’re managing a business in this crazy economy and making it flourish as more and more peple come out of the woodwork to celebrate their quirky, zany freak sides. The designers at SBG/WG – they have guts. Skeletons don’t have guts. You do, though.

After you go and get a library card (if you don’t already have one, you should) you will KNOW you have the guts to research while wearing this electric guitar skeleton necklace as a totem, inspiring you to expand your life this year before you’re struck down by the evil that comes with rock and roll. Our recommendation? Try ‘Spider’s Kiss’ by Harlan Ellison. It’s a good start.

Fire Clown Necklace

Yes, everyone hates clowns. Can we get over it now? Good. We’re over the hate. Clowns, they’re creepy but c’mon. That’s part of the fun. Clowns will always be a source of fear and hated, but that’s to our benefit. Pennywise, Killjoy, Killer Klowns From Outer Space, Sweet-Tooth – all are icons in horror. Even Cap’n Spaulding, if not just for the fact that it’s Sid Haig. Perhaps you’re a clown fanatic. Perhaps you went as Pogo the Clown for Halloween, just to mess with your parent’s heads (and alert the authorities?) Maybe you have a tattoo of Bozo on your chest or your favorite flavor is cotton candy. Or, perhaps, and this is a long shot, you just like setting things on fire? Then this is for you.

Skeleton Coffin Earrings

There will come a time in your life where there will be a situation that calls for Skeleton Coffin Earrings. It’s going to be a strange occurrence and you’re not going to really remember any of it once it’s over. Colors will look different and food will taste stronger, more intense, than you ever remembered it being.

For better or for worse, you better be prepared. When the situation happens – AND IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN – you’re going to be thankful that you have these. Without them, you might make it through the whole ordeal but you’ll lose a lot of what you could have saved IF you only had these earrings. Trust us on this one.

Horror Mystery Gift Box Grab Bag

No, you can’t purchase the Lady Gaga look-alike (don’t we wish we could?) No, while the comely lass with the attractive ass entices you to look, you can’t touch. You CAN, however, purchase a this Gift Box Grab Bag. For twenty-five dollars, you get multiples pieces shipped to you. What will they be? Does it matter? You’ve seen the high quality that we’ve showcased on this Spotlight. A single piece alone is worth twenty five dollars and you’re getting more than two! How economically wonderful IS THAT?

And you have a great surprie. You won’t know until you open up the expertly packaged present that arrives at your doorstep. A perfect gift, of both economic and fashion interests. And you haven’t received anything in the mail until you get a package from SPG, who roll out the red carpet with each order. Half the fun is in the packaging and those wild minds at Sparkling Bag Candy, those Whammo Glammo shazammos are on to it. They’re not just cutting edge, they’re sharp than sharp can be!

You can find Freak Bang and all the designers (Star Tulle, Berkshire Forest, Mr. Roboto’s Beads, and Flair Weather) all at Sparkling Bag Candy on Etsy, at whamo-glamodotcom.blogspot.com, at www.sparklingbagcandy.tumblr.com, on Facebook (Here) and Twitter (@freakbangdotcom).

Get spooky, get sparkling. And once you’re done, get back here next week for another Tuesday uEtsy.

A Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

Reverend Leal came to Nasvhille by way of San Diego, CA. He was the director of the hit web based music show BalconyTV Nashville, but has just recently parted with the show to focus on shooting, directing and producing his latest project, Skeleton CrüeTV.

Leal founded and established his production company/studio Rebel Rev. Productions with partner, fiance and “Hostess of Horror” Cali Ford as well as a Horror/Tattoo “lifestyle” called Skeleton Crüe Clothing. Rev. Jay Leal is a true Reverend, Fully accredited with Credentials recognized in all 50 states. Available For Weddings!

What is the worst thing you’ve ever done while inside a car?
I can think of one night in Fort Lauderdale FL…. but most of the really bad stuff happened outside of the car while I was driving. I guess technically I was “inside” the car during the whole ordeal.. and most of the blood did end up inside the car too… I’m just going to go with not using my turn signal.

Who would you least likely to see receive a prime time television show?
Jerry Seinfeld, hands down.

What is a part of your town (location, store, restaurant) that you think is under-appreciated?
It’s a toss up between the alley behind Layla’s Bluegrass Inn, where they hold the money knife fights ever Tuesday night or Rick’s Comic City… I don’t know.

What’s a movie do you think needs a sequel?
I’d love to see a sequel to Titanic.

If you weren’t in a band right now, which band do you wish you were in (and what would you play?)
I’m going to go with The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and I would be that dancing guy.

[For those who are searching for unique horror items, one can’t beat Etsy.com. Each Tuesday, Gravedigger’s Local 16 aims to highlight one seller. If you’re looking to spruce up your look, redecorate your sanctorum or get a gift for that special something in your life, Etsy.com is your place for spooky econo.]

Albino Alligator
http://www.etsy.com/shop/AlbinoAlligator 

Stigmata – Large Modern Distressed Leather Cuff

Nearly two months since our last installment, not much can be reported in the town of Leathbridge. When the temperature descends southwards to the single degrees, most of the town’s residents hibernate. The ground is hard so most of Quiet Side’s activities involve minimal maintenance. Young Gus shows up early to brew the coffee. The Intern is on winter break, though plans have been made for him to return in the spring.

We’ve been thankful to avoid the snowfall so far, though it’s a looming shadow we expect to fall soon. It’ll be Humphrey’s first snowfall, having celebrated his first Christmas with his family. Poinsettia was excited to be in season, showing up to the Local Holiday Party with a few of the poisonous blossoms pinned beautifully in her hair.

The year brings new expectations and excitement for the possibility of what can happen and the dread at what will surely take place. The equilibrium should always have you prepared for the worst but looking forward to the best, leading us to kick off the year’s first Etsy spotlight with the wares of Albino Alligator.

Pugenstein Frankenstein Pug Horror Art Print

It would be wise to spend the next two months pondering what you can shed from your life, the items that no longer accurately represent your life. Life is too short to be wasted on clutter and too long to be saddled with insincere expression. Perhaps you own a pug or have fond memories of a former pet. Clear out a space on your wall and place this print.

Vampire Skull Mehndi Horror Art Print

The effort against the Myerficiation of blood suckers has picked up steam. Thought the damage has been done, leaving us as a culture years of rehabilitation ahead before the vampire regains respect. Still, be ahead of the curve with this Mehndi horror art print. There will always be skulls, there will always be vampires, there will always be fanged fears of the night.

Aqua Skull Mehndi Horror Art Print

2012 should be a year of experimentation beyond the norms while maintaining a healthy respect for the conventions and traditions that have brought us here. So if we eschew a wardrobe of complete black for a splash of color, your den can represent this as well with the Aqua Skull print. With music devolving into noise and our civilization mildewing away to cannibalism and chaos, why not try something different? All you have to lose is your life.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 Chop Top Tribute

As we said, maintain a healthy respect for those who came before you. Appreciate your ancestors. Respect your elders until they try to put you down. Then, go for the jugular as you fight for your space. No one should ever try to put you down. If you have to fight for survival, and it’s clear you’re going to lose, make sure to take as many of them down with you. This has more to do with this magnificent rendition of Bill Mosley’s iconic character Chop Top than what might lead on, though we’ll let you discover the connection.

Death’s Head Moth Silence Lambs Mehndi Horror Art Print

If there is any evidence that you have as much right to life as anyone, take look to the mainstream hit of ‘Silence of the Lambs,’ a horror movie that garnished respect and accolades a plenty. There is room here for you. There is a future for you if you want it. You will eventually die, as everything dies. This might frighten you as the concept is beyond horrifying. But in the time between now and then is your life. Please, enjoy as much of it as you can.

Enjoy the goods of Albino Alligator. You can find the store here, with cuffs, art and more available. We shall speak with you again next week with our next edition of Tuesday uEtsy.