Saint’s Day

We here at the Local don’t have any official religious affiliation. With a lot of spooky imagery of skulls and devils and blood-wrenching sights of destruction and gore, it’s that slippery misconception that just because we’re ghoulish, we’re not spiritual. We might not be. Who knows? It’s not a requirement on the Union application.

But since everyone’s wishing a happy ‘Saint’s Day’ today, I figured I’d look up to see if we’ve got one. Lo and behold, we do.

Saint Anthony – Patron Saint of Grave Diggers,
Feast Day: January 17

Interesting. Granted, I would have preferred a day off in the Spring or Summer. But a man takes what he can get.

Saint Anthony was born in Egypt in the year 251. His parents were wealthy Christians. They died when he was a young man, leaving him in charge of his younger sister and a large estate.

Nice cat. Doing some charity. I can get behind that.

About six months later, he heard the Gospel ‘Go sell what thou hast and give it to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven.’ He decided that this Gospel was talking to him, so he gave away most of his land and money to the poor. He only kept enough to take care of himself and her sister. Later, when he heard the Gospel ‘Be not solicitous for tomorrow’ he gave away the rest of his estate, placed his sister in a convent, and became a hermit.

GET THEE TO A NUNNERY! Seriously? A guy hears a B-side of a record and flips his shit? Maybe that’s why he’s the gravedigger’s saint, since he took ‘You Can’t Take It With You’ to heart.

He lived in the wilderness for many years. The devil tempted and tormented him while he was living in the desert. But Saint Anthony persisted in his prayers and fasting, and finally Satan gave up and stopped attacking him.

From another account, Ol’Scratch got so pissed off at the boy that he beat the tar out of Anthony’s hide. He got saved from some villagers and he tried the hermit schtick again. Hung out in some cells, tried to be a martyr, converted some heathens. The whole rock-star Saint thing back then. Today, we have Criss Angel doing some wacky shit and headling Vegas. Saint of MINDFREAKING doesn’t really have a ring to it, though.

When Saint Anthony was very old, and he knew he was going to die, he visited his disciples one last time and asked them to bury him in a quiet and private place. He went back to his cave, where he died on January 17, 356. He was one hundred and five years old.

He went back to his cave. Dude was committed. What can I say?

So, there you go. If you rock that way, the saint of Gravediggers is Anthony the Abbot (and Costello.)

Looking about, some fool asks the following:

Now this sounds a really depressing job to me, and why do gravediggers need a Saint of their own to pray to, what do they ask him for, more graves to dig? Not good news for the rest of us if he decides to answer their prayers!

A gravedigger never has to worry about work, my friend. But there are days when he or she prays that the grave they did isn’t their own. It’s not a depressing job, either. Work with your hands. Get a lot of fresh air. Peace and quiet. Not to mention all the nice people you get to meet. Plus, job security. Once you’re in, you’re set for life. And even afterward.

As for Saint Anthony, turns out, he’s also the Patron Saint of Bacon. Huh. Don’t know what to thing about that.

Also:

against pestilence; amputees; animals; basket makers; basket weavers; brushmakers; Burgio, Sicily; butchers; Canas, Brazil; cemetery workers; domestic animals; eczema; epilepsy; epileptics; ergotism (Saint Anthony’s fire); erysipelas; gravediggers; graveyards; hermits; hogs; Hospitallers; Lost items ; monks; Mook, Nederlands; pigs; relief from pestilence; shingles; skin diseases; skin rashes; swine; swineherds

Finally, the common link between basket weaving, scabies and gravedigging! Thank you, St. Anthony.

Halloween Scream Concert

Although I ended my contribution to the 2008 Halloween countdown with a cover of a Frank Zappa song, it hadn’t dawned on me how appropriate it was to do so until now. At the time, I just wanted to use it since I’m a Zappa fan and wanted a video that ended with someone saying “Happy Halloween.” But now that I think about it, the choice was doubly appropriate, as Zappa was known for his yearly Halloween concerts and the mask-wearing musician with a KFC bucket on his head would have undoubtedly appealed to FZ’s love of the bizarre.

In fact, that love of his resulted in the creation of “Cheepnis.” The song is a loving tribute to the low budget monster movies, with a title which both refers to the budgets of many such films and his name for the cucumber-looking monster from It Conquered the World (said creature was dubbed “Beulah” by its creator, Paul Blaisdell). It was also this love of both monster flicks and general weirdness that led to him trying to make a musical tribute film about a giant spider with Best Brains, the company behind Mystery Science Theater 3000. Apparently, Mr. Zappa was so impressed by the weirdness of a particular sketch he had stumbled across that he immediately contacted the company. Despite the Brains being big FZ fans, the project was sadly never realized (although I seem to recall that the songs prepared for it were eventually released).

Since GdL shares that love, I thought I’d post a video of the song itself. Like last year, it’s a cover, but it isn’t an ordinary cover song; it’s done by Frank’s eldest son Dweezil and some of FZ’s old friends/band mates. So, thanks to zappaplayszappadvd, here’s a little “Cheepnis” for you all:

My other reason for posting this is that I wanted to pay tribute to another band known for Halloween concerts and for a love of the bizarre: Oingo Boingo. I only got into them fairly recently, but here’s what I know: Originally founded as “The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo” by Danny Elfman (yes, that Danny Elfman) in 1972, the band eventually changed their musical style and shortened their name (along with band size) in the 1980’s. After many hits and membership changes (along with a brief change of name to “Boingo”), the band left the music world after a “Farewell” concert held on October 31st, 1995.

Here’s a homemade music video for “Dead Man’s Party” (the song that first got me into Boingo), created and uploaded by vash81888:

I don’t know if Oingo Boingo ever tried doing a concert with Frank Zappa, but I doubt it. It’s a shame, as I think they’d both appreciate each other’s love of the weird. Boingo’s cult film Forbidden Zone would definitely be up FZ’s alley. But since Zappa passed away in 1993 and Oingo Boingo probably won’t ever reunite officially due to Danny Elfman’s concern over hearing loss, such a team-up can only exist in our minds. To aid in the process, here are some quick Halloween-themed song lists I came up with for each band (in no particular order):

Frank Zappa:

Cheepnis
Goblin Girl
Zomby Woof
The Torture Never Stops
Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
Ship Arriving Too Late to Save a Drowning Witch

As Zappa often did numerous versions of each of his songs, I’m going to recommend my favorite versions to you (with the exception of “Cheepnis” since I’ve only heard the “Zappa Plays Zappa” version). I enjoy the live version of “Zomby Woof” and original version of “The Torture Never Stops” from Cheap Thrills, the You Are What You Is version of “Goblin Girl,” the You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore Volume 3 version of “Drowning Witch” and the You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore Volume 6 variant of “Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance.” I know that last one might seem like an unusual choice for a Halloween tune, but I’ve always felt that particular version of the song has a “harvest dance” quality to it.

Oingo Boingo:

Weird Science
Dead Man’s Party
Heard Somebody Cry

As I’m a bit of a Boingo newbie, I can’t really make any recommendations on any song versions. I do know that their Dead Man’s Party album has all three songs on it, but I’ve heard that they might use a different version of “Weird Science” than the one heard in the film. Oh, and “Heard Somebody Cry” totally needs to be the theme for a Ghost Hunters parody.

Now that I think about it, we’ve been making an awful lot of music recommendations this year. Maybe Gravedigger’s Local 16 could make a Halloween song list for the next countdown. In the mean time, be sure to keep visiting the site come November.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween

From all of us here at Gravedigger’s Local #16, we wish each and every one of you out there a safe and Happy Halloween.

Stay Tuned! (and Oh Boy! A Bonus, Billy!)

Well, tomorrow is the big day. I imagine that many of you readers will be too busy to read any GdL posts made on Halloween, which is why I’m posting this notice now. I want to stress to you all that Gravedigger’s Local 16 will stay open (and active) after October 31st ends. We won’t post every single day like we do for the Halloween Countdown, but we won’t vanish into thin air like in 2008.

Returning readers might remember that we had attempted to do this last year, but this was cut short due to certain issues keeping the gravediggers from posting. By the time everything was resolved and I was doing several updates a month, most of our audience was gone and many of the new entries went more or less unnoticed. So if you’re wondering why so many posts made for the 2009 countdown reference (and link to) older GdL entries, now you know. My sincerest thanks goes out to those of you who stuck with us doing those times.

So please keep visiting come November. At the GdL, the spooky stuff doesn’t stop after October. We’ve got a lot of cool stuff waiting in the wings and you definitely don’t want to miss it. See you then!


As a special bonus, Greg from the Opie and Anthony Audio Archive was kind enough to upload “Evil Barney on Halloween” on his site for me after I sent in a request. Last year, a chance discovery of a YTMND featuring audio from one of Opie and Anthony’s old “Evil Barney” sketches prompted to me look for the rest of the sketches online. I was mostly unsuccessful and my plan to use the Halloween one (my favorite, naturally) as a GdL update had to be put on hold. However, the search itself led to me rediscovering Opie and Anthony.

Back in the mid-to-late 90’s, I was a big O&A fan. Like the Evil Barney YTMD, I had discovered the show by accident while my younger brother and I were flipping through radio stations on a particularly boring day in 1995 or 1996. It wasn’t until we stopped on 107.3 FM that we found something interesting enough to make us spend more than a few seconds listening. I’ve long since forgotten what Opie and Anthony were talking about when we first tuned it, but I’ll always remember the bit they led into: “Evil Barney on Masturbation.” After the vaguely menacing opening theme played, Anthony Cumia did his dead-on impersonation of the hated purple dinosaur and immediately launched into a lengthy list of masturbation innuendos for the benefit of some boy named “Billy.” When the bit ended, listeners were treated by a Spanish version allegedly translated by the “Funky Puerto Rican.”

The very idea of someone doing something like that on the radio blew our minds. Needless to say, we were hooked. WAAF became our station of choice and we listened whenever we got the chance to. I have many happy memories of my brother and I blasting each other in Goldeneye 64 deathmatches while a radio tuned to WAAF played in the background. If one of us was in another room when the telltale evil music started, the sibling by the radio would frantically calling for the other to get into the room for another evil Barney sketch. But all that came to an end after Opie and Anthony got fired over an April Fool’s Day prank in 1998. Oh, we tried to keep listening to WAAF, secretly hoping that O&A would return from their new gig in New York, but it just wasn’t the same without our favorite hosts. We eventually moved on to other stations and our increased workload from school kept our free time to a bare minimum.

Having caught up with the duo thanks to Youtube uploads, I’ve since learned that Opie and Anthony are embarrassed by their old material, especially the Evil Barney material. They’ve even been known to play old tapes and let their comedian friends tear it apart while they suffer in the background. While I agree that a lot of stuff from their WAAF days isn’t as funny as it seemed when I first heard it (sometimes I even cringe at their new material and wonder why I listen), I still have a soft spot for Evil Barney. Sure, the “cute/innocent figure doing violent and nasty acts” is a very easy (and often hacky) form of comedy and the production values are very bare-bones. However, I will maintain that most of the ones I heard had at least one really good line in them (that would work in sketches not involving a “cute” character gone bad). Barney’s reaction to getting a Hersey Kiss in the bus driver sketch is a good example of this and I recommend waiting for the bit involving baseball in the Halloween sketch.

Barney and Friends was about three or four years old when I first listened to Opie and Anthony and despite the show still being on the air, one would think that the hatred of Barney’s sugary-sweetness that immediately arose when the show first came out would have faded a bit. After all, a show from 1992 is downright ancient by today’s standards. But Barney is still intensely loathed to this day. The popularity of Youtube videos and YTMNDs dedicated to killing Barney (including ones based around O&A “Evil Barney” bits) are a testament to that fact. Maybe it’s the over-the-top happiness of the cast. Maybe it’s how the show never seriously tackles difficult issues, whereas programs like Sesame Street are willing to tackle subjects like death. I think it was a writer from Animaniacs who once noted the implausibility of children willingly staying at school after the last bell rang like they do on Barney. I guess good educational children’s programming should feel like the real world with somewhat unreal characters in it, rather than taking place in a world completely removed from reality.

As regular readers might have noted, I usually use the “Linger Longer” title one the occasions when I post an Opie and Anthony video. I chose not to do it for this post, as it was originally intended just to tell people to stay tuned. Then I got a last minute surprise after being informed of the Evil Barney upload and needed to place to put it (as I’d already put together a special post for Halloween). I figured that readers would probably appreciate a little extra surprise in an otherwise boring “site news” post. From what I’ve been told, “linger longer” is a reference to a phrase uttered by radio host Doug Tracht that was adopted by O&A. Apparently, it’s often used after a reference to an older show is made, as a way of telling listeners to tune in more and pay attention so that they don’t miss out/learn what’s going on. I think that ties in nicely both with the audio file and with the general theme of this entry. Okay, that’s enough writing for me; just enjoy the comedy sketch and keep checking out the blog.

Horror Trivia

Some prints of Tombs of the Blind Dead were given a new title card (Revenge of the Planet Ape) and opening narration in an attempt to pass the movie off as a Planet of the Apes-style science fiction film!

Not unlike how Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster was initially written as a vehicle for Toho’s version of King Kong, Mind Ripper was originally intended to be the third entry in the original The Hills Have Eyes franchise, with one of the Jupiter clan wreaking havoc at a government installation (instead of the suicide-turned-bioweapon we see in the finished version).

Similarly, Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor originally went into production as a sequel to The Deadly Spawn called The Deadly Spawn 2: The Transformation.

C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. is rumored to have originally been a rejected sequel script for Return of the Living Dead. It certainly would explain why the C.H.U.D.s suddenly look and act like comedic zombies in it.

Pamela Springsteen, who played the murderous Angela Baker in Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers and Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland, is Bruce Springsteen’s sister. Not only that, but she currently works as a still photographer.

Fans of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 will undoubtedly remember the twisted character that is Chop Top. Chop Top was supposed to appear in a short spin-off film called All American Massacre, but the project has been languishing in development hell for years.

Abbott and Costello actually met The Creature from the Black Lagoon in a television comedy sketch.

The costume used in The Monster of Piedras Blancas was reused in an episode of Flipper called “Flipper’s Monster.”

The female protagonist in Night of the Demons was originally supposed to have a black boyfriend. That aspect of the script, along with a planned gay couple, were removed for being “too controversial.” Remember: the film was made in 1988!

Inspired by the success of their Mr. Vampire franchise in the 1980’s, Hong Kong film company Golden Harvest started production of a remake targeted at English-speaking audiences called Demon Hunters. Jack Scalia and Michelle Phillips were hired to act as the American “name actors,” but the project fell apart after a few days due to their difficulties working in a non-Hollywood studio environment (The differences between making movies in Hollywood and Hong Kong are more than just a change of languages). I can only hope that the shelved footage will be made available one day, either as an extra on a DVD for one of the Mr. Vampire films or included as an injoke in another film (such as having the footage appear in a theater or on TV).

Some of you might be aware that Attack of the Mushroom People is based on a story by William Hope Hodgson called “The Voice in the Night.” However, I bet that most of you don’t know that the same story was adapted as an American made-for-TV movie long before Attack of the Mushroom People went into production.

Have you ever wondered why Frankenstein’s monster is usually depicted with green skin? You see, Boris Karloff had to wear green makeup in order to achieve a pale-skinned look on black and white film in Son of Frankenstein. However, there were some behind-the-scenes photographs of Karloff in costume that were taken in color. As soon as those pictures were released, the idea of the monster having green skin was cemented in the mind of the general public. The fact that the monster’s skin was colored green on the first Universal Frankenstein film’s poster and how some reissue prints were tinted green didn’t hurt, either.

DEAD (Milkmen)

Correct me if I’m wrong. Not a lot of songs out there for guys named ‘Jason.’ There was the blow-up in the eighties (there’s like, a MILLION of us just walking around) of the name, but it’s not a name to inspire. You have Jason and the Argonauts, Jason Priestley. But there’s the big one, the main man – Mr. Camp Blood himself.

Growing up, it was always ‘Jason,’ not ‘Jason Voorhees.’ Freddy Krueger had the scary-sounding last name. Jason was entitled to the single-word moniker. Don’t know how it happened, but it did for me. Perhaps you got a kick out of going ‘Voooorheeeeees’ but hey, you dig your own grave.

Thankfully, the Dead Milkmen decided to do the un-do-able and write a song about Jason. Could be about me(no), could be about the Camp Crystal Lake legend (yes). It’s a song for Jason everywhere (like Moose, the plural of Jason is like the singular. If someone named Jason Moose RSVPs to a party, you can’t be sure if he is coming by himself or is bringing a guest.)

Off of ‘Not Richard but Dick,” the song ‘Jason’s Head’ is a catchy beat. The bass-line reminds me of ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ by the Cure. Jason vs. Freddy vs. Robert Smith. Coming Summer 2011.

Attack of the Anime Adaptations

Animation is not always for children, and the two films I’m going to discuss are definite proof of this.

The slice of insanity you just witnessed is from an anime called Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned, a Japanese adaptation of Marvel’s Tomb of Dracula comic book. In fact, it was produced as part of the same Toei/Marvel deal that was responsible for Battle Fever J and the infamous Japanese Spider-Man series. You can find out more (and see proof that Dracula loves burgers) at the Anime Bargain Bin’s highly informative review. The Anime Bargain Bin also covered Toei’s Frankenstein anime, which was put into production due to the success of Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned. Despite rumors to the contrary, this was not an adaptation of Marvel’s The Monster of Frankenstein series.

It Came From Wikipedia II

According to this article, Godzilla made a licensed appearance in an audio drama spin-off of the Idol Defense Force Hummingbird OVA series.

Color me surprised: Dracula’s Daughter was created as a result of Universal getting the license to adapt Dracula’s Guest.

As many of you all know, King Kong Lives was the sequel to the 1970’s remake of King Kong. But you probably didn’t know that it inspired two Japanese video games: King Kong 2: Ikari no Megaton Punch and King Kong 2: Yomigaeru Densetsu. That movie would’ve been so much more tolerable if it had Kong battle giant robots and blobs like he did in King Kong 2: Ikari no Megaton Punch.

Speaking of King Kong, the old “Kongfrontation” ride once had a crossover of sorts with Darkman and the now-defunct “King Kong Encounter” ride will be replaced with a new Kong ride in 2010.

While we’re on the topic of amusement attractions based on horror movies, the UK-based “Alien War” attraction (based on the Alien franchise and once featured a cameo by a Predator) has since been rethemed as “Alien Wars.” The use of xenomorphs has been dropped in favor of a generic “extraterrestrial attack” theme, presumably in order to save money on licensing fees.

Here’s a shocker: the movie A*P*E was originally advertised as The New King Kong in America, in a presumably desperate attempt to sucker people eager to see the then-current Kong remake into seeing the shoddy Korean rip-off. Unsurprisingly, RKO sued and the title had to be changed. I’d love to know how the hell they thought they could have gotten away with that. As a special bonus, here’s an older version of that Wikpedia entry where they link to a picture of the original poster.

If this is to be believed, William Peter Blatty once said that he considered The Ninth Configuration to be the true sequel to The Exorcist.

Wow, Universal’s Creature from the Black Lagoon musical attraction sounds awful. The article has plenty of spoilers, although I can’t see how one could “spoil” that piece of crap.

This claims that one of the entries in the Bloody Murder series is set at the same camp as the other two films, but doesn’t mention Trevor Moorehouse or any of the killings from the other films. That’s almost as surprising as how the filmmakers weren’t sued over their blatant (in my opinion) Jason Voorhees rip-off.

Mystery on Monster Island is advertised as being based on a Jules Verne novel. What they don’t tell you is that the novel in question didn’t have any monsters in it!

Finally, check out this article on the great and noble profession of grave digging.

What’s a countdown without a count?

Count von Count, that is.

I know these mildly NSFW videos are old news, but I immediately thought of the “censored Count” videos after chancing upon a Sesame Street segment parodying Mad Men (what’s next, a Breaking Bad parody?).

According to uploader mrmagoo312, Lemon Demon (aka Neil Cicierega) was responsible for the audio while wattamack4 provided the video for the following:

As is the case with other successful Youtube videos, the popularity of “The Song of the Count – Lemon Demon Version” led to a slew of imitators. In my opinion, the vast majority of them “ran out of steam” fairly quickly due to the weakness of the material used. However, there is one video which didn’t fall victim to that pitfall:

According to creator MrNick01, the vacation video was based on an idea by one noodles347. It’s almost frightening just how well the innocent songs about counting become hilarious songs about an insatiable sex drive with only some choice bleeps. To quote Strange Jason, “the Count’s prowess is unrivaled!”

Doo Wop and Ghoulish Things

Poor weather to be working outside these past few days in this part of the world. In the break rooms of life, it’s good to have something warm to drink, eat and listen to while waiting for the rain to fade.

Two releases that seem to work best when the weather isn’t working at all are ‘These Ghoulish Things’ and ‘Do Wop Halloween is a Scream.

Released on ACE Records out in the UK, ‘These Ghoulish Things’ is a collection of some noted and forgotten songs. Ace Records has spent the last twenty-five years dealing with licensing and releasing old recordings. Weird Jon would have better ideas about legal copyrights regarding international law. The way Ace present themselves, they look like that Ace might be on the up-and-up. Buyer beware, always.

‘These Ghoulish Things’ is a collection of fun songs, and you can tell when you get to The Verdicts “The Mummy’s Ball.”  The mock Dracula breakdown shows that this record was really to make someone laugh, get a few plays on the radio and make the group some money. Novelty records, but more innocent in nature. The release has some ‘serious’ songs, like a cut from Zacherley the cool Ghoul and Buddy “Boris” Pickett’s ‘Monster Mash.’ 

‘Screaming Jay Hawkins is on here with ‘Feast of the Mau Mau’ as well as Virgil Holmes with “Ghost Train” and Bo Diddley’s “Bo Meets the Monster.” The whole record has a throwback feel to it, harking to the heyday of the classic monsters. It’s light listening, making for a good pick-me-up when your bones are soaked and heavy.

Similarly, ‘Doo Wop Halloween is a Scream,’ a release on WANDA and that’s as much as I can tell you right now. Might have been a release effort to collect more novelty singles, getting cuts like Chotalls’ ‘Queen of Halloween’ and Pete & the Bloodsuckers ‘My Baby Likes Scary Movies.’ Anyone with more information is invited to contact me here. Would love to get more info on this release.

Consider it a short rest before the big night. Three days and counting. Ha-ah-ha-ha.

Maximum Carnage

The time was October 2002. Universal Studios Florida had decided to integrate their “Islands of Adventure” into their “Halloween Horror Nights” celebration. Not only that, but the event would be moved to the islands for several years. To play off this, the event’s theme for the year (“Islands of Fear”) was that each island would be “taken over” and altered for Halloween (with one exception).

So, who would be taking over Marvel Super Hero Island? Traditional Marvel supervillains like Dr. Doom or Magneto wouldn’t be scary enough and the gliders used by Halloween-themed villains like the Green Goblin and Jack O’Lantern would be too difficult (and dangerous) to utilize realistically. Eventually, somebody hit on the idea of adapting the “Maximum Carnage” story arc that appeared across several Spider-Man comic books in 1993. The idea of a super-powered serial killer and his freakish helpers inciting riots across a city certainly must have sounded like a good idea for a haunted attraction on paper. In practice, it was a very different story.

Continue reading

Witch Dungeon Museum

Kim Cattrall?

Location: 16 Lynde Street Salem, MA (Directions)
Dates/Times: April – Nov: 10:00 am – 5:00 pm (Extended in Oct) (Dates/Times and prices subject to change as years go by)
Admission: $8 per adult, $6 per child (4-13) and $7 per senior aged 65 or older.
Phone: (978) 741-3570
Website: http://www.witchdungeon.com/witchdungeon.html

No, this isn’t the similarly-named horror movie museum in Connecticut. Instead, it’s a Salem, MA-based museum devoted to the Salem Witch Trials. I visited the Witch Dungeon museum as part of a school field trip back in the early 2000’s, probably since my English class had studied The Scarlet Letter and The Crucible. All I knew about the museum at the time was that it had a reenactment of one of the infamous Salem witch trials, using an actual transcript from 1692. Little did I know was that it would be one of the oddest museums I would ever go to.

The Witch Dungeon Museum is the only museum I know of which doesn’t have any “artifacts” on display (or placards, for that matter). Even the now-defunct “Terror on the Wharf” haunted house in Salem tried to live up to its “Museum of Myth and Monsters” subtitle by having some horror movie memorabilia in the waiting area and some placards placed in the first few areas of the haunt itself.

I remember being surprised both by this and how my classmates and I were immediately herded into a small theater. I expected that the reenactment would be the last part of the of the museum, not the first. After all, it would be a natural climax to an hour or so of looking at old historical items about the trials. But there were no such items, just a small theater with a courtroom set up onstage (and some static supporting cast dummies). Soon the costumed cast came out and performed their little five minute reenactment. It wasn’t destined for rave reviews, but it wasn’t terrible either.

After the trial ended, we were ushered into the “dungeon” located in the basement of the museum by our factoid-dispensing tour guide. The winding dungeon contained displays showing things like Giles Corey being pressed to death, the incredibly small cells the accused witches were kept in (complete with dummy captives) and innocent people being tortured and hung. There was much surprised muttering amongst the group upon passing a display where some people in Spanish Inquisition-style pointed hoods were uncomfortably close to the hanging victims. This brought uncomfortable thoughts of racial prejudice and the Klan to mind. All of the previously-mentioned displays were rendered using the same type of (as far as I could tell) papier-mâché dummies from the play. Thankfully, the dark lighting and moody atmosphere made them slightly less laughable than they would have been in regular lighting.

While a friend and I were debating whether or not a figure in a dark cell was a live person waiting to jump out at us, we heard a piercing scream from a girl in the group ahead of us. Word quickly spread that she had seen some kind of ghostly figure; the consensus being that it was just part of the museum and not a “real” ghost. This would be eclipsed later in the day during our trip to the House of Seven Gables, where someone caused a screamfest by making a joke about a bat attack when a long line kept us stuck in a dark hidden staircase.

Later in the tour, not long before the exit, I (barely) noticed another ghostly effect going on beside me. Or perhaps it was a repetition of the same effect from before, I’m not 100% sure since I never got to ask the girl what she saw. Due to the limited nature of those scares, I am not going to spoil anything for potential visitors by telling what I saw. If you walk slowly and keep your eyes peeled, you should have no trouble seeing the dungeon’s ghosts. Although those effects would not make the basement tour “hack it” as a standalone haunt, it was a neat little surprise for a haunted house junkie like myself. After the tour ended, we were cleverly dumped into the gift shop. I remember a lot of knick-knacks, postcards and books, along with some hilariously named “Witch Balls” (hanging glass ornaments). Although I originally thought they were just regular ornaments with a new name slapped on to cash in on Salem’s history, I have since learned they were a real folk tradition!

Not having been to any other witch museums, I can’t say where the Witch Dungeon ranks among them. I’d definitely like to check them out before seriously vouching for visiting the Witch Dungeon Museum. That said, I imagine that while other museum might have more artifacts and historical information, the Witch Dungeon Museum is probably much more fun. If you’re a teacher looking to give your students a little surprise while you’re all in Salem, a trip to the Witch Dungeon Museum isn’t a bad way of going about it. As for non-academic trips, I can’t recommend going there solely for the dungeon tour. There are much better (in my opinion) haunted houses in Salem to spend your money on (Hint hint).

It’s nothing personal against the museum itself, as it’s not like they’re in business as a haunted house. In fact, I greatly appreciate their throwing some haunt-style touches into the mix. It’s just that the museum doesn’t really impress me enough to recommend it highly. If the museum was longer, the effects/dummies were upgraded and/or the prices were lower, I would feel differently on the matter. Being a fair man, I won’t rate it using the system I use for haunted attractions. Having said that, it is worth visiting if you get an off-season urge to visit a haunt or if you purchase the special combination ticket. Said ticket is good for the Witch History Museum, the New England Pirate Museum and The Witch Dungeon Museum and the savings works out to a discount of about $5 per person. You can find more information about the ticket here.

Final verdict: Exempt from rating

UPDATE: It turns out the dummies I had thought were papier-mâché are actually wax figures! Although considering how amazing papier-mâché figures can look, maybe I would have been more impressed by the museum’s figures if they actually had been made of papier-mâché.

Special thanks to the Witch Dungeon Museum for use of the image!

Dub Like A Zombie

There’s a moment of parity ‘tween us here at the Local and the world of Hip Hop in the movie ‘Scratch,’ a documentary about Turntablism and the rise of such hip hop mad scientists like Q-bert, Kool Herc. DJ Shadow stands in an underground reserve of vinyl stacks, talking about the importance of ‘digging,’ or searching for the perfect beat. Digging for DJs involves a constant search for the next beat, seeking out the next great hook, the right sample.

If yours is the romantic eye, you can see them as urban Templars always seeking out the next Grail. Or, if you adhere to a different philosophy, these are the evolved insects in human-suits, rifling through the mountains of discarded plastics to make something worthwhile. What eyes you sport matters most when digging dirt. Only worms dig without eyes.

Similarly, I keep digging for new spooky music (as should you.) I came across something different than usual – Tino’s Breaks Vol. 6.

Released on the Tino Corp. label, “owned” by the mythical Tino, the releases are developed by Ben Stokes (Dimensional Holofonic Sound) Jack Dangers (Meat Beat Manifesto) and Mike Powell (Bo Square). While they create albums full of sounds and beats for other turntablists to use, sample and build, there have been a few Tino’s Breaks that have been dub albums. Instrumental reggae. Or in this case, instrumental hip-hop.

I fell into some dub something in 2004, finding it more enjoyable than reggae itself. Living in an old industrial providence somewhere outside the capital region, there was Sir Walford broadcasted on the college radio every Monday and Saturday. Driving around to grab a cheeseburger, playing some dub while the sun shone down on a cold Fall afternoon remains a constant and favorite memory. He’s still out on the air, every Saturday afternoon. If he ever played from this album, wouldn’t know.

Vol.6 is the Halloween release. You’ll find on this release some really laid back music, as is the case with dub. It’s a lot of funky beats, deep bass; definitely much different than death rock or psychobilly. My favorites on this are ‘Wolfman is Everywhere Dub’ and ‘Zombie Walk Dub.’  The music is very playful. It’s easy to groove to it, while doing what you need to in preparation for the big night. It could also be a good way to break up some monotony of your evening’s music if you need something a little low-key. Check it out here and wherever you can.

Links I Like

Interest of fairness, I’m only going to be covering links that I haven’t highlighted on this blog in the past:

Teleport City – Yesterday’s Tomorrow Today. I’ve been a fan of this movie/literature/travel review site for the better part of a decade. The reviews, which often mix information about a movie with anecdotes about the reviewer’s life, have been a big influence on my writing style. I can’t say that I’m all that good at mimicking the style of a Teleport City review, but it’s still an influence.

Lost in Schlock – A blog devoted almost entirely to prop-making, be it for Halloween or movies.

Retroslashers – News and reviews of slasher films from the past and present, along with an insanely awesome title banner.

Weird Boston Events – A must-read guide for any resident of Massachusetts who’s into the weird and wild.

Joe Bob Briggs – Film critic. Drive-in king. Horror host. Just click the link already…

Bogleech – Home of one of the lesser known Halloween countdowns. There’s also some very interesting articles on insects and monster/insect-related toys. Oh, and the webmaster is probably the only person on Earth besides me who’s ever heard of “Scratchees.”

Head Injury Theater – Movie reviews, hilarious articles and a Halloween countdown full of cool paintings by the guy behind the site. What’s not to love?

Bleeding Skull – An excellent site that reviews films (on both DVD and VHS) and contains numerous in-depth articles about various things pertaining to horror movies. Trust me, the site is much better than my description.

The Agony Booth – Home of some of the most in-depth movie reviews I’ve ever seen. I especially like how the KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park review details the various differences between the original American version and the extended European cut.

Gorillamen – A website devoted to the oft-neglected art of gorilla suits. I love it!

Monster Kid Online Magazine – Cool online magazine devoted to old-school horror. Be sure to check out the article about the Three Stooges and monsters.

Laff in the Dark – Everything you ever needed to know about dark rides.

1,000 Misspent Hours and Counting – Tons of well-written (and often humorous) movie reviews. I especially like the fact that, even when he tears the film apart, the writer always makes the most meager of awful movie seem exciting.

The Astounding B Monster – Home to numerous interviews with the people behind the old horror movies we know and love.

The B-Masters Cabal – Your guide to (most of) the premiere bad movie review sites on the planet.

The Tomb of Anubis – NSFW movie reviews, for both vintage and recent films. The screencaps (done in the style of Mystery Science Theater 3000) never fail to make me smile.

In Your Face

Facebook fast becoming the way that old boyfriends and classmates track you down, it might be safe to go back onto MySpace so that you can follow your favorite independent band. Or not. Who cares? Here’s a bunch of bands currently on there who you could easily add if you still had an account. 

List after the break.

Click the post title for further details.

http://www.myspace.com/americangraveyard
http://www.myspace.com/atomicjohnny
http://www.myspace.com/blasedebris
http://www.myspace.com/smokula
http://www.myspace.com/calabrese
http://www.myspace.com/crimsonghosts
http://www.myspace.com/onemangrave
http://www.myspace.com/demonseeds
http://www.myspace.com/deadenddragstrip
http://www.myspace.com/demonssthlm
http://www.myspace.com/officialdeadbolt
http://www.myspace.com/ectremors
http://www.myspace.com/geinandthegraverobbers
http://www.myspace.com/ghoulsnightout
http://www.myspace.com/gokatgoradio
http://www.myspace.com/getthreecoffinsready
http://www.myspace.com/hauntedgeorge
http://www.myspace.com/theehorrorx
http://www.myspace.com/voxtones
http://www.myspace.com/lugosismorphine
http://www.myspace.com/losderrumbes
http://www.myspace.com/snorkels
http://www.myspace.com/losmuertosvivientes
http://www.myspace.com/lostikiphantoms
http://www.myspace.com/lostacapulko
http://www.myspace.com/loscadaver
http://www.myspace.com/worshiplusurfer
http://www.myspace.com/monstersfrommars
http://www.myspace.com/memphismorticians
http://www.myspace.com/messerchups
http://www.myspace.com/mcphersonstruts
http://www.myspace.com/nocturnaldirtsurfersalliance
http://www.myspace.com/satansteardrops
http://www.myspace.com/sixgunrepublic
http://www.myspace.com/satanspilgrims
http://www.myspace.com/southerncultureontheskids
http://www.myspace.com/svengoolie26
http://www.myspace.com/dynotones
http://www.myspace.com/thebrimstones
http://www.myspace.com/thetombstonebrawlers
http://www.myspace.com/verbtones
http://www.myspace.com/thenebulas
http://www.myspace.com/thecoffindaggers
http://www.myspace.com/ghastlyones
http://www.myspace.com/thecosmicvampires
http://www.myspace.com/thetormentos
http://www.myspace.com/thenumbskulls
http://www.myspace.com/thefamousmonsters
http://www.myspace.com/thelegendaryinvisiblemen
http://www.myspace.com/bodybagsmusic
http://www.myspace.com/officialtreblemakers
http://www.myspace.com/thebmoviemonsters
http://www.myspace.com/thecriswell
http://www.myspace.com/edgravesghostshow
http://www.myspace.com/thenightmaresmusic
http://www.myspace.com/thevoronas
http://www.myspace.com/theburnoutsrockandroll
http://www.myspace.com/thepredictionssurf
http://www.myspace.com/thedisconnectma
http://www.myspace.com/absce
http://www.myspace.com/zombieriot

News to me

Fearnet is showing the unrated director’s cut of Return of the Living Dead 3 both online and on its cable TV service until November 30, 2009. Why is this a big deal? Back in the days of VHS, there were two versions available: the rated version (R) and the gorier unrated version. However, the DVD release only contains the R-Rated version.

It has come to my attention that a British horror magazine called “The Dark Side” has been accused of numerous acts of plagiarism. In fact, the webmaster of Naschy.com has made a website devoted to providing evidence for the allegations of literary theft.

The people behind Winterbeast are currently working on a new horror movie called Hooked. I even managed to find some cast and crew hiring information online. I sincerely hope that the filming goes much smoother than it did during the making of Winterbeast and that this won’t be a “bad on purpose” film.

AD Vision, often known as ADV Films, has announced it is going to sell all of its assets to Japanese company Sentai Filmworks and a group of corporations registered by their former senior vice president of business and legal affairs. One of said corporations, Section23 Films, seems to be getting the most attention in the stories on the sale.

Although primarily known for their anime releases, I’m sure that many readers will remember when ADV had quite a library of live-action science fiction and horror films, from classics like Destroy All Monsters and the 90’s Gamera trilogy to relative obscurities like Pulgasari and Lady Battlecop. In fact, I had always hoped that library would have carried them through the recession and the (in my opinion) eventual crash of the anime market. Especially since they survived what many viewed as a “near death” experience by selling off their old office supplies. “After all,” I had thought at the time, “if they can survive that, they can survive anything!” ADV will be missed.

UPDATE: It turns out that I was mistaken and ADV isn’t technically dead. Go here for more details.

The Fright Haven (previously mentioned on GdL) is closed for 2009, but will reopen in 2010. Happily, another Connecticut-based haunt called Rails to the Darkside appears to still be in operation.

Music Choice has recently started playing Halloween music on their “Sounds of the Seasons” channel. FINALLY!

Finally, there’s a company called “Frankenstein’s Recycling.” It’s not major news, but I thought they had a cool name and needed some more recognition.

Load more

Bad Behavior has blocked 10128 access attempts in the last 7 days.