"What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter?"
Header image

You know the drill. A site either links to or follows us and we link back to them in our own special way (especially when yours truly needs a break). Today’s shout-outs go to the following:

Keith Broun
Fear In Words
Horror Extreme
Tars Tarkas.NET
Body Count Blog
Orgone Research
Bent Realm Studios
Justine’s Halloween
The Midnight Brood
Celebrating The Seasons
The Devil’s Advocates Movie Reviews

Thank you!

Oblivion

Posted by Weird Jon in Movies - (1 Comments)

Oh my!

Given that May is Asian Heritage Month, I thought it would be appropriate to take another look at George Takei’s body of work. Based on my research, it appears that the subject of today’s review, the sci-fi western Oblivion, was the first non-Star Trek, non-TV science fiction movie that Mr. Takei had an onscreen role in. Given his many years of acting, it is both amazing and saddening to think that it took until 1994 for him to land such a role. Thankfully, this later led to several more appearance in future genre films. But let’s look at where it all began…

The year is 3031 and things are not looking good for the citizens of Oblivion. As if the planet’s variety of nasty alien creatures (like giant two tailed scorpions) weren’t bad enough, their sleepy little town has been taken over by a nasty reptilian outlaw named “Redeye” and his gang of cronies. Thanks to his personal stash of the valuable mineral Derconium, which interferes with electrical equipment, he has successfully both killed the marshal (by deactivating his personal force field) and rendered the cyborg deputy helpless. It’s up to the marashal’s estranged son Zack and his native friend Buteo to save the day. The thing is, Zack is an empath who can feel the pain of anyone he hurts or kills, which makes him reluctant to go in guns a blazin’. But as the level of violence escalates in Oblivion, it becomes harder and harder for him to just stand by…

Oblivion is a treat, from the futuristic western designs (with ATMs standing in for banks and electronic prospecting equipment) to the creature effects by the late David Allen. Co-producer/screenplay writer Peter David’s well-known lightheartedness comes into play several times in the film, including an amusing “bingo funeral” sequence and a blatant Man-Thing reference. It’s also fun spotting the various cameos. There’s Isaac Hayes as a saloon owner, Julie Newmar as “Miss Kitty” (a reference to both the Gunsmoke character and her role Catwoman in the 60′s), Carel Struycken (“Lurch” from the 90′s Addams Family movies) as a mortician (a staple of both horror and western films) and George Takei as Doc Valentine. Although he spouts his fair share of Star Trek references, his character isn’t just there for a few jokes. Being the town’s dentist/barber/inventor/robotics specialist/etc., Valentine is guilt-ridden over the “failure” of the force field badge he designed killing the marshal and soon turns to drinking to numb the pain. Takei’s acting skills get to shine as his character rapidly (but believably) goes from humorously drunk to mournful and then to violent and unpredictable before recovering the next day. This multifaceted role was a major step up from the roles traditionally offered to Asian American actors in westerns: cringe-worthy, one note “comedic” stereotypes like Hop Sing. Although not his greatest role, acting in movies like Oblivion did keep his name in the public eye, which allowed him to further develop his fanbase and fame. Over time, he became a famous enough figure to lend his name to causes like this protest and actually have it mean something to the general public. I’m not saving that Oblivion was solely responsible for this, just that it’s a good-sided stone on the road that is George Takei.

Full Moon has wisely released the film onto DVD in order to cash in on the hype for the upcoming (as of this writing) film Cowboys and Aliens. The DVD offers a nice, crisp transfer with some minor print damage here and there. The audio sounds great, especially the dead-on perfect western score. As was the case in Killjoy 3, there is no chapter selection menu, despite the presence of chapter stops! This is simply inexcusable. I can’t imagine why anyone at Full Moon thought this was a good idea. The fact that you can’t go back to the main menu after starting the film is also irritating and I hope this is merely an issue with my DVD player and doesn’t represent the disc’s behavior on all players.

But that isn’t the disc’s biggest failure. Bizarrely, the “Video Zone” making-of segment from the original VHS release is nowhere to be found! Fans who want to learn more about the film’s production without searching out the VHS release will have to make due with Peter David’s recollections on the matter or pick up a copy of The B-Movie Survival Guide for its brief tidbits from people involved in the Oblivion series (along with those from other cult movies). That said, this is a huge blunder by Full Moon. They would be wise to avoid doing so on future releases, in addition to including chapter selection menus.

Besides the semi-animated main menu, the disc’s special features consist of two different selections of trailers. The first batch consists of previews for Oblivion, Oblivion 2: Backlash, Puppet Master: Axis of Evil,Doll Man, and Skull Heads. As usual, the “new” trailers very in aspect ratio and occasionally in quality. The transfer on the one for Oblivion, is good, but not quite as good as film’s transfer on the DVD. The Puppet Master: Axis of Evil, trailer is a new version using scenes from first Puppet Master in addition to new material not seen in the usual versions of the film’s trailer.

There are also 10 “Full Moon Vintage Trailers” (Technically Full Moon and Empire Pictures trailers) that are all full frame and are of wildly varied quality. The selection consists of Arcade, Bad Channels, Crash and Burn,Laserblast, Meridian (aka Meridian: Kiss of the Beast), Netherworld, Robot Wars, Seed People,Shadowzone and Subspecies. Not having seen the film itself, I can’t say for sure if the trailer for Arcade is the one that featured the original and eventually replaced special effects. The trailers for Bad Channels and Netherworld are worn while the one for Seed People is especially worn. However, it’s of Criterion Collection quality when compared to the awful quality of the ones for Laserblast and Shadowzone! Still, it was a pretty fun trip down memory lane. I just wish they had a “play all” option.

Despite the DVD’s flaws, I still found Oblivion to be a very enjoyable way to kill about an hour and a half. While The Haunted Casino and Killjoy 3 will eventually get traded in at my local used DVD store, Oblivion will always sit proudly on my shelf. Here’s hoping that a DVD of Oblivion 2: Backlash is in the works (but without any of this disc’s faults).

UPDATE: It turns out that the sequel did get a DVD release…in 2004. Although initially confused by the seeming reverse order of the releases, further research revealed that Oblivion had its original DVD release in 2002 through Artisan. That said, seeing the prices given for it on Amazon have me hoping that Full Moon reissues the sequel.

Special thanks to Full Moon Features for the review copy!

Today is the final day of Zombie Awareness Month 2011. As the site’s zombie-related content got rather lean towards the end of the month, I thought I’d share a zombie video to give ZAM the send-off it deserves:

I love the way that video ends, don’t you? But don’t worry, I’m not only going to show a video that’s just over 20 seconds and call it a day. Here’s something you can really sink your teeth into, a music video starring Baron Samedi called “Thrill Me”:

The above was included at the end of the video cassette that came with the fourth installment of the Nightmare VHS game series (also known as Atmosfear), wherein a board game is used on conjunction with a prerecorded video. In this series, Baron Samedi is a zombie who acted as a “harbinger” that a player could control during his original appearance and later acted as the host of Nightmare II expansion in 1992. However, he returned to his role as a harbinger soon after and his last appearance was in 2006′s Khufu The Mummy, with DVD having replaced the game’s use of VHS in 2006′s Atmosfear: The Gatekeeper. But, given the series’ strong fanbase online, it wouldn’t surprise me if the Baron makes another appearance in the future. Happy Zombie Awareness Month!

Tuesday uEtsy

Zombie Toes
http://www.etsy.com/shop/zombietoes

SALE Private Party Zombie Silhouette original painting dark fantasy art zombies eating

Giving to the heat of the shifting seasons, May is falling away and with it, the end of 2011’s Zombie Awareness Month. Tomorrow, Rights and Equality for Animated People officer Nemi Lem will take down all the decorations. Though the month is over, her duties continue. Word is her fundraising was better than last, but such as it would be since last year was hard on us all.

What better way to send off the month than with some art? Thankfully, we have the wonderful Zombie Toes to send off may with their fine products.

Green Zombie Silhouette art print limited edition

It will be interesting to see where the zombie genre goes from here. We’re waiting for the zombie bubble to pop, for zombie critical mass to hit and the subsequent fall-out. There will always be room for new additions to the genre that probe the corners left explored. During those lengthy hours contemplating the significance of this idea of the dead coming back to life, you would be wise to have an artistic print like this Green Zombie Silhouette to inspire your thoughts.

Zombie Ink Blot 1 dark art Print psychology silhouette horror living dead

Though, do be careful not to get too caught up in it. You might end up with too much zombies on the mind. Everything thing that you see turns out to be zombie shaped. Sure, that might help if you’re caught in a survivalist scenario. Can’t be too jumpy, though. What is a zombie, what is a survivor? Can’t tell, can you? Not anymore. This print might help you figure things out – what’s a zombie, and what’s not? A good question to ask yourself, any time.

Zombie Portrait Sara living dead dark fantasy horror art print cemetery goth painting

Perhaps you need someone specific to focus your thoughts? Here, the Zombie Zara poses for a portrait. Perhaps you know her or someone who looks like her? Are you ready to defend yourself against her when she attacks? Is she your sister, an ex-girlfriend, your new wife you thought would meet you at the Courthouse with the rest of the group (like you said you would?) What did she do – did the rest leave her behind? What are you going to do now as she comes at you? Hesitation means death. Take this picture and look at it when you have the luxury of a moment for mourning.

Little Book of Zombie Limericks set volumes 1 through 3 original poems

Of course, not everything done by Zombie Toes is totally serious. Here you have their set of Little Books of Zombie Limericks. Sold individually or together as a set, you have a do-it-yourself publication of limericks about our undead shadows. Perhaps if they knew of our prior Halloween contest, Zombie Toes would have entered and swept the competition. Maybe you can get one up on next year’s competition by purchasing all three and getting to know your opponents?

Deathbox Necronomicon hand sculpted horror tin with two zombie magnets

Whenever you feel that twinge of hunger that brings you to the refrigerator, ponder the magnets that look at you. Consider the tin that brought them to your door, the one that resembles the skin of a human face. Ponder that which separates you from an undead creature. Is it the hunger? Is it the society you keep or the laws you obey? Do you pride your free will, your choices made; the thoughts you entertain and express? Ponder what little can be taken away before the beast matches your reflection. If it’s something simple as pigmentation and a pulse, you might consider switching from the pork loin to a nice, healthy salad.

Do check out Zombie Toes on Etsy, over at their official blog and at their Facebook page. Bid a fond farewell to this Zombie Awareness Month. And may you fondly find yourself back here for another Tuesday uEtsy.

I'm here because the real artwork for "The Goblin Market" didn't fit GdL16's standards.  That, and because I'm so darn cute!

Since my last article about horror poetry turned out so well, I decided to revisit the subject. Wikisource has once again proven its usefulness to me thanks to its wealth of material. For example, I was able to find Christina Rossetti’s controversial “The Goblin Market,” James “B.V.” Thomson’s famous “The City of Dreadful Night,” Robert Burns’ “Halloween” and Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “Go to the Grave” there. Famed poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s “Haunted Houses” and “Haunted Chamber” were there, as well as Don Marquis’ “Haunted” and “A Nightmare.” The works of Charles Baudelaire were also well represented by the somewhat NSFW “A Carcass,” “The Litanies of Satan” and “The Sick Muse.” Finally, Robert Southey’s “The Devil’s Walk” and “The Funeral” caught my interest. However, I had to go to Google Books to find Southey’s “To Horror” (which sadly features some politically incorrect content).

Google Books also yielded quite a lot of poems with spooky subject matter, like “Monday’s Troll” from Cobwebs, Chatters, and Chills: A Collection of Scary Poems by Patricia M. Stockland and “What Should I Be?” from Skeleton Bones and Goblin Groans: Poems for Halloween by Amy E. Sklansky and Karen Dismukes. The preview for Halloween Night by Charles Ghigna and Adam McCauley gives us “My Secret List,” “What to Wear on Halloween?” and “Costume Crazy.” However, things get decidedly more mature with poems like Jane Yolen’s “Knives” (based on “Cinderella”) and Donna Taylor Burgeess’ NSFW “Eat.” The adult nature of David Galef’s “Siren” should be of no surprise, given that it’s from the infamous Horror Between the Sheets. That said, Mark McLaughlin’s “The Titterer in the Twilight” is from the same anthology despite the lack of explicit content.

Amazon also offers numerous free book previews. I personally recommend checking out the ones for The Kingfisher Book of Scary Poems, Scary Poems to Make You Shiver, Delightfully Depressing Dark Poems, An Eyeball in My Garden: And Other Spine-Tingling Poems and The Graveyard Poet: Dark Adult Poems Of Horror, Madness and Death.

Although better known for his short stories, alt.horror.cthulhu regular James Ambuehl has also tried his hand at poetry. Works of his like “The Seed From the Stars,” “The Ballad of Black Bart” and “Following in Pickman’s Footsteps” can be found here.

Although you’ll have to sign into your Gmail/Google Groups account to see them, other poems can be found at alt.horror.cthulhu. Some ones that I found during my last trip there include “Old Ctharaths” by “Simon,” Thom Brannan’s “Unquiet Dreams,” “A poem dedicated to an unidentified supernatural entity” by Peter Vorobieff and “They Await” by “Special Agent Cooper.”

For more horror poetry, please visit:

Scary Poems

Gorelets.com

Scary Poems – Bedtime.com

Scary Poems by Richard Macwilliam

Scary Poems and Stories – Things That Go Boo

That’s Not Your Mommy Anymore
By Matt Mogk
Illustrated by Aja Wells
Available on Amazon

I had to ask myself, “Would I buy this for Bethanista on her birthday?”

Bethanista is a cool girl who likes zombies, fairies, dancing and ice cream. She’s also seven. When after her mother bought Plants v. Zombies, Bethanista interest in the undead sparked and took off.

So when reading That’s Not Your Mommy Anymore, written by Matt Mogk and illustrated by Aja Wells, I had to consider if this would make a good present for Ms. Bethanista. She is the intended audience’s age, I suppose, though I can see how the novelty of this book would appeal to grown-ups.

(Full Disclosure, a copy of Dog Train by Sandra Boynton sits on my shelf, a gift I got because The Phenomenauts had a song on the CD that came with it. You’re never too old for a book.)

If your kid is cool enough, That’s Not Your Mommy Anymore is a great gift. I wouldn’t recommend it for any child at the age where they don’t have an abstract of the concept of death. This book, however, is perfect for kids who are into things that are scary, spooky and creepy.

Matt Mogk is the founder & Head Researcher at the Zombie Research Society (Full website here, the ZRS blog, and their presence over on Facebook.) If anyone would be fitted to write a children’s book about zombies, it would be him.

In writing, Matt Mogk shows some skill with a dexterous rhyme set. In the first scant eight lines, paired with Aja Well’s full page illustrations, Mogk establishes what makes a “Mommy,” expressing the acts and emotions of a loving caretaker. But as quickly as he sets up what makes a Mommy, Mogk draws a clear distinction, indicating that when she’s a zombie, that is indeed not your mommy anymore.

That’s Not Your Mommy Anymore is a book that acts as a warning. Never does it instruct children to combat their parents – no “go to the gun closet, lickety-split/and grab your father’s big boomstick.” I think children reading this book will not act out against their parents. It’s more of a precautionary tale that warns against a ‘zombie threat,’ than an instruction of how to combat it. Instead, it advises the children to hide, be smart and avoid the danger. These lessons can be easily transferred over to something more predominant (i.e. “real”) in a child’s life.

Aja Wells’ illustrations are playful and contain a sort of disarming whimsy, perfect for a children’s book. While the subject matter warns against the threat, a child reading this won’t be scared too much by the depictions of all types of zombies and acts of gore. Nothing appears ghoulish or grotesque enough to inflict nightmares. Still, Wells does a great job at managing the balance between horror of the subject and the gentile nature of the book’s intended audience.

I think it’s a really good book, and spooky parents reading it to their kids will have some hidden Easter eggs for themselves. From a spooky standpoint, it’s a great book. The language is clear enough that those learning to read could make their way through it and those with some skills would not get stuck on an indiscernible world, such like “indiscernible.”

Overall, it’s a good book. If Bethanista is still into zombies by the time her birthday rolls around, I might consider it. Though, with the way she’s taking to reading, she might ask for a copy of World War Z instead. I’ll talk to her mother about it. For everyone else, I say That’s Not Your Mommy Anymore is the children’s zombie book you’ve been asking for.

 

To quote the description given at our fifth episode’s official listing:

“‘May 26th and 27th are important dates for fans of Classic Horror. We celebrate the birthdays of Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee and Vincent Price. 2011 marks Vincent Price’s 100th birthday, so after we wish Pete and Chris our best, we’ll let Vince have center stage.”

So be sure to have a listen, either at the official website or on iTunes. Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and at Twitter, either!

It's worth every penny!

Today marks what would have been Vincent Price’s 100th birthday had he not unfortunately shed this mortal coil. In recognition of this momentous occasion, the horror community (and his hometown of St. Louis) is celebrating the “Vincentennial” in a variety of ways. I have chosen to celebrate by reviewing his classic British radio series, The Price of Fear.

Although best known for his work in film, Mr. Price had a long career in radio that spanned from around 1936 through 1984. The source of that information, Ronald L. Smith’s Horror Stars on Radio wisely notes that Price’s “…contrast of softly pleasant voice with evil deeds would be a ticket to fame for [him]“ and this would be utilized to maximum effect in the audio-only world of radio. Oddly enough, his radio career both started and ended with British radio shows, making the subject of today’s review an especially appropriate celebration of this particular aspect of Vincent Price’s career.

The Price of Fear debuted on the BBC World Service in 1973 and ran until 1974, spawning a tie-in book along the way. In 1983, six additional episodes were produced, bringing the series’ total number of episodes up to twenty one. As the show’s host, Price would either recount a fictional adventure of his or simply narrate a story presented to him by another character (in both cases, the episodes were a mix of original scripts and adaptations of stories predating the series). This information, along with an episode guide, can be found here. It should be noted that some sources claim the series aired until 1975 and there are claims of a twenty-second episode called “Never Gamble With A Loser.”

AudioGo’s (formerly BBC Audiobooks) double CD set consists of four episodes from the show’s initial 1970′s run: “Cat’s Cradle,” “Come As You Are,” “Speciality of the House” and “The Ninth Removal.” Those who read the above-linked episode guide will quickly notice that these are not presented in the original broadcast order. According to the detailed liner notes (more on those later), the reason for this selection/order was done in order to match that of the original audio cassette release from the 1980′s. Why did the cassettes present those particular episodes in that particular order? My best guess is that, due to the series’ varying episode lengths, those episodes were chosen due to their ability to fit on each side of an audio cassette. That sort of thing is not as far-fetched as you might think, as it effected the releases of many albums in the days of 8-track.

The first CD begins with “Cat’s Cradle,” an adaptation of Bram Stoker’s “The Squaw”. In it, we find Vincent Price relaxing in a small Germany city during a break in the filming of a horror movie. He befriends a newlywed couple on their honeymoon, who invite him to accompany them on a tour of a local castle with an infamous reputation due to its involvement in the Inquisition. Too bad that a boring blowhard acquaintance of Price’s invites himself along. Things get even worse when he accidentally kills a kitten while trying to get its attention. Between its vengeful mother and a castle full of torture equipment, you know that things won’t end well.

The second story, Bill Ingram’s “Come As You Are,” appears to have been written especially for the series. The episode begins with Vincent Price discussing his dislike of costume parties, which leads to his recounting of one such party in particular that cemented his aversion to such events. It all started when a friend of his invited him to a costume slash housewarming party during a visit to London. Despite his attempts to get out of it, his friend won’t take “no” for an answer (which leads to a hilarious telephone conversation) and Price reluctantly attends. Feeling out of place, Price quietly grabs some alcohol and finds a place to hide…where he is surprised to find another man hiding in the darkness. His mysterious new friend refuses to give his name and instead tells of his attempt to kill his unfaithful wife. Although you might think you know how this story will end, odds are that you’ll only be half right.

Disc 2 kicks off with “Speciality of the House” (based on the story of the same name by Stanley Ellin) which features a subject very near and dear to Vincent Price’s heart: cooking. A trip to New York leads to Price reconnecting with another old friend, who is eager to show him his favorite restaurant. Although initially put off by the oddball rules and seemingly bland soup of the dismal, small obscure establishment, Price soon shares his friend’s enthusiasm for the place. But why does the chef never let anyone see his kitchen…

Our final tale, an adaptation of R. Chetwynd-Hayes’ “The Ninth Removal,” is an example of the kind of episode where Vincent Price introduces a story rather than actively participate in it. We open with a woman complaining of how modern girls dress. Our usual narrator appears not long after, explaining how he met this woman while visiting a friend’s psychiatric clinic in order to do some script research. Through a combination of radio drama and Price’s narration filling in some gaps, we learn of both her strict upbringing and hatred of a new female employee that is “corrupting” her workplace. And how do a string of “sex murders” tie into all of this? You’ll have to listen to find out, as even those who correctly predicted the ending to “Come As You Are” will be blindsided by this.

Mr. Price and his co-stars all give top notch performances that easily draw the listener into the stories. Although sound effects are used, Price’s voice is the sinister star of this show. His descriptions of the bloodshed in “Cat’s Cradle” are far gorier than any sound effect could hope to achieve, which means this show isn’t something that be be listened to with small children around. Although all four episodes are appropriately chilling, there is humor present as well (as is the case with much of Price’s classic horror films). How can you not love amusingly macabre lines like “he attached himself to us like an incubus,” especially when delivered in the star’s trademark “serio-comic” tone? Despite the packaging noting that the sound quality reflects the age of the source material, I didn’t notice any problems (unless you count two instances of actors flubbing their line). In fact, the quality easily blows away all of the allegedly “public domain” .MP3s made from aging audio tapes of the series. My only real problem with this release was the way the two discs were held in the case. Had I known that the flipside of the tray holding the CDs could be opened by lifting from the left (rather than on the right like most of the CDs I own), I would have had a much easier time getting to disc two.

In addition to offering over two hours of listening pleasure, The Price of Fear comes with liner notes that provide a wealth of information about the history of the series (complete with reproductions of promotional ads and a vintage interview). This is a definite must-have for all fans of Vincent Price and I sincerely hope that sales are good enough to warrant releases of the rest of the series.

Special thanks to AudioGo LTD for the review copy!

A Handful of DirtA Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

 
In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.

 

 

It isn’t unreasonable to say that Thomas Kuebler is a mad scientist, a monster maker and a storyteller. With a quarter-century of toy-prototype and animatronic industry, Kuebler now wears the hat of a freelance artist. Kuebler’s medium is sculpture, and his phenomenal work is outright stunning.  

Justine pointed out the artist (and subsequent mini-documentary on his work) in her guest post. For more information on Thomas Kuebler, as well as more images of the man’s work and news of where you can see it in person, check his site: http://www.tskuebler.com/.


If your blood could be any color (or substance,) what would you want it to be?

I think I’d probably stick with red.  I know that’s dull, but if I ever needed medical attention I wouldn’t want any distractions given to saving my life.

If you could pick a writer (living or dead) to pen your biography, who would it be?

My childhood I would want written by Saint Peter and my adult life by the Marquis de Sade.  Or maybe the other way around…

Can you describe the conception process for your latest (or a recent) piece of creative work? (ed: sort of what was the motivation to get you thinking about the work and what might have triggered the ‘eureka’ moment.)

That Eureka moment is a good question because there are so many different ways It happens.  A face in a book or magazine or passing me in the park, an antique store find, a Bugs Bunny cartoon, a movie villain, a dream..Or nightmare!  Once the seed is planted in my creative process, two things start to happen. The sculpting begins and the hunt begins. The augmentations of my sculpture are found at antique stores, flea markets, thrift shops, ebay, etc.  The picture starts in my head as a very blurry image that slowly sharpens as I work on the actual sculpture.  I never sketch unless I’m working out a structural problem.  I do use photo or life reference.   The face is the most important part of it all, and the character of that face is ultimately the real inspiration.  So, if you see me out there in the middle of a shopping mall or a super market with a dazed stare and a half smile, you’ll know the poor soul I’m staring at is gonna wind up as a freak or mad scientist in my odd little world.

Which song by The Ramones do you think accurately describes your life at this point in time? (ed: if you’re not a fan of the Ramones, feel free to pick a different artist)

Pink Floyd more accurately describes my sensibilities.  I tend to see the world much like the entire Animals Album.  Come to think of it, The Dark Side of the Moon and The Wall, too.

I’m kind of a cynical guy…warm hearted, but cynical.

In your opinion, is silver the only thing that can kill a werewolf, or do you subscribe to a different theory?

Nah! They just want you to believe that because they know most people are too cheap to melt down their good dinnerware and jewelry for the sake of Werewolf preparedness!

SEE,  I told ya I was cynical.

The Zombeatles
MEAT THE ZOMBEATLES
(Purchase HERE)

It’s amazing how well it works, since it easily could have gone horribly wrong.

The premise is simple enough: take the most legendary rock band of all time and turn them into zombies. However, going half-ass at the project by sprinkling the word “brains” across the lyric sheet taken from a “Greatest Hits” comp would have resulted in a disposable novelty record to be quickly forgotten or, if lucky,  to be dusted off for October episodes of the Dr. Demento show when the good Doctor had nothing better to play.

Instead, MEAT THE ZOMBEATLES is astounding and very enjoyable. It’s only eight songs long, though that brevity might help the parody. The Zombeatles don’t wear out their welcome, nor does the concept run thin. (The clip of “A Hard Day’s Night of the Living Dead,” a clip that gained national exposure when Rob Zombie picked it for his Halloween Picks back when YouTube’s Front Page held some clout, is from a documentary about the Zombeatles, which hints at more music or a possible follow-up recording.)

Three of the eight songs can be considered noteworthy hits – “Halp,” “I Wanna Eat Your Hand” and “Hey Food” emulate established staples of radio (if, at the time of this writing, radio exists) play. I think that these songs were picked, not just because their Zombeatle counterparts are fun to listen to, but if the Zombeatles didn’t include them, people would say “What about….?” as some half-hearted, I-Can-Do-This-Too attempt at ‘constructive criticism.’ These are the obvious targets for parody and their inclusion is more, in my opinion, an appeasing gesture.

They’re good songs but when compared to the other tracks selected, the three Hits, they lack that extra panache. Plus, it’s the deeper cuts that show that the musicians behind the Zombeatles put some sincere thought into what they were doing. Instead of regurgitating their copies of “1,” that collection of #1 hits, the Zombeatles have dug deep to find songs. These are true Beatles fans and that shows in the music, as well.

“Brain” Itself is a particularly genius song, not in just its adaptation for the undead crowd but its selection. At first, I didn’t know which song it was parodying; having no idea that “Rain” was a B-side to “Paperback Writer”, further research indicated that the ‘promotional videos’ for the song were an early version of a music video.  It’s not as obscure as I first originally though, but it’s not “She Loves You (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)”

The album doesn’t sound like a Beatles cover band doing zombie versions of the songs. It sounds like legitimate zombies are playing the instruments. The breakdown of “Dead Prudence” and “Hey Food” is what a less-than-animated-reanimated player would sound like.

It’s no big secret that the Zombeatles have some living alter-egos in the band The Gomers, a band you should check out in their own right. But big respect for Gorge, Jaw, Pall and Dingo; for how exceptional MEAT THE ZOMBEATLES is as a recording, it’s a testament to the quality and thought put into the project. Lesser meat would have failed and the Zombeatles get to reap the tasty, fleshy rewards of victory.

Tuesday uEtsy

Tina Seamonster
http://www.etsy.com/shop/tinaseamonster

Yetis Love Spaghetti 2 by 3 inch Fridge Magnet by tinaseamonster

Of course, we here at the Local knew that the ‘rapture’ wasn’t going to come around. There’s too much work left to be done.

It might have meant a reprieve to those who are waterlogged and saturated by the flooded banks and the constant rain.

While we might be grateful for the rain when the threats of drought and water restrictions loom around the corners of the next few months, we’re ready for a break in the weather.

We’re also tired of Young Gus blasting that Creedence song whenever he drives up to the offices. At least the workers enjoy it.

We’re coming to a close to Zombie Awareness Month for 2011. Nemi has been around to distribute the invitations to her formal dinner/fundraiser. A few charitable doctors and humanitarians will attend but we’ll pass on that and attend the informal dinner/drinks at the end. We think that’s what the GdL16 members prefer.

Obama Vs. Zombies Four Color Unisex Shirt Blue

We have (probably) one last Tueday uEtsy with products to honor our undead compatriots. This week, we have Tina Seamonster. One of her more noted products features the current Commander in Chief straight up cold-clocking a zombie. Not one that the local office of Rights and Equality for Animated Persons, Nemi Lem, enjoys but if you want to have the current president of the USA not take any guff from a greenskinned flesh-eater on your body, this is the shirt for you.

Sometimes I worry About Zombies Book mark with Sleeve

We’ve tried to keep it straight down the middle, not being too pro or anti zombie. We’ve got friends on both sides of the arguments. And both sides worry about zombies, sometimes. Sometimes, Nemi is worried they’re being mistreated and sometimes, Young Gus is worried that a zombie might be coming to ruin some of his work. So which position you take, this bookmark can represent you.

Zombies Hate that You are Awesome 2 x 3 Fridge Magnet PINK

This isn’t really anti-zombie, per say. It might just be an accurate statement, that zombies are haters. Of course, as haters, haters gonna hate. So Zombies pretty much hate on you for being awesome, fast and smart. Zombies hate food that can out-think them. It’s very frustrating.

Zombies are Crap at Knitting Book mark in Sleeve

This is just a bit of a statement of truth than a dig at the undead. It’s not a coordination issue. We’ve seen many undead work on some machinery and rock a decent six-string. It’s just that Zombies don’t have that much patience to knit something of quality. They usually end half-way through so you either have one mitten or half-a-hat. Sorry, Zombies.

All Five Zombie Fridge Magnet Designs COLLECT THEM ALL

Of course,  you don’t need a book marker. Some people don’t use them, which is fine. But a nice magnet to hold a bill, a photograph or just to break up the monotony of your Whirlpool is always welcomed. You can get all five designs from Tina Seamonster’s collection, showcasing the President, Zombies and what looks to be a Narwhal. God bless you, Narwhal.

Find Tina Seamonster’s store here on Etsy. Purchase, play and come back next week for another Tuesday uEtsy.

The Vooduo
THE ROCK AND ROLL CREATURES THAT STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES

“That’s all still a fantasy now, of course, but where d’ya think all the great revolutions begin if not in fantasies?”

The inside photo of Neidi Night and Eerie Powers, posing in black leather beside a Yamaha 350, is the clear evidence that these two are throwbacks to a different time of outlaw attitudes and aesthetics. They’re made in the image of roadhouse rebels, the monsters of grindhouses during the period when the atomic threat of the fifties proved too goofy and the serial slashers of the eighties had yet to be king. Night and Powers, known as The Vooduo, are the creatures of an American period where mutation was too dangerous to be hip, when the derelicts and diseased were on the winning side.

Neidi plays drums while Eerie jams on his guitar and vocals. For their latest, they had a Dave Klien guesting on theremin and organ, noted on the opening song, “Zombie Baby.” Compared to their first album, The Vooduo have developed a depth and greater understanding of who they are. There’s no pretense or bullshit. THE ROCK AND ROLL CREATURES… is straight-up honest rock and roll.

Songs like “Groovy Ghoul,” “Shrunken Head” and “Hell on Wheels” hark back to the dirty and grimy times where there wasn’t a term for ‘grindhouse’ cinema, back before classification was beyond plausible so the blanket of ‘horror’ fell upon it all. The song “Blood Breast and Beast” celebrates this period, where you could find one (or in the case of breast, two) of each in every movie. The attitude of “Bone thru The Nose” shows that there are freaks and finks that will find that life is groovy when it’s dark and dirty.

Consider this: The Vooduo’s new album takes its name from a movie that, like many, we first and only know from its showing on Mystery Science Theater 3000. It’s hard to think there some people went to see ‘The Rock and Roll Creatures That Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies’ in earnest, but they exist. We have documented proof, since one piece of concrete evidence of sincere watching is the recorded testimony from the wild mind of a venerable rabid rock critic, Lester Bangs. A good line from the running commentary goes:

“What about all the truly great movies comprised of unreconstituted trash, which are important not only because nothing else is deranged in quite the way they are, but also because they demonstrate that occasionally intersecting tastes don’t in any way prove the sharing of Good Taste cross twenty or thirty years?”

Like the movie, nothing else is deranged in quite the way The Vooduo are; other bands might bring in more members or bloat their sound with the day’s fashion. The two of them run a tight operation. These two aren’t of bad taste or trash, but of the Bad Taste back when it wasn’t hip or fashionable.  Not everyone is going to get them. That’s fine. There’s room for all in this world.

If you’re a fiend, a demon, a monster kid or just some Screamin’ Jay, you will already have this album. If you don’t, you know what you need to do.

“….Realize that the whole concept of Good Taste is concocted to keep people from having a good time, from reveling in a crassness that passeth all understanding.”

Find The VooDuo on Facebook and MySpace.

 

A Handful of DirtA Handful of Dirt asks a person five questions they wouldn’t normally expect or receive in any other credible interview.

In consulting the Serendipiter Bag o’InquiryTM, we pose a series of questions to come up with a bit of knowledge unknown before – a handful of dirt.


 


 
Nels Truesdell is half of Kava Kon, or “the music you should be playing at your party if you want to be considered cool and sexy by your guests.” A mad science of music and fun, Nels and Bob Kress make some distinct and enjoyable music that will make your drinks taste better and your clothing choices seem more trailblazing.

Keep an ear open this coming episode of 6′+ for some unreleased beat-happenings from Kava Kon. Many thanks to Nels for this interview and his groovy mind.

 

 

What’s an element of a past or current project (or perhaps upcoming) that has gone overlook that you would like more people to notice?

A lot of the percussion done on the albums “Departure Exotica” and “Tiki for the Atomic Age” was beatboxing.  For example 90% of all güiro sounds  were done by my mouth. Than we processed it using eqs and compressors on the recordings to give them a more realistic tone. There are so many more examples of unconventional recording techniques used on our albums.

As an adult, what is your favorite Halloween costume that you have worn?

The Abominable Dr. Phibes. My favorite Vincent Price character and personal idol.

What’s the album you’d pawn three-quarters of all your possessions to get a copy of?

Kava Kon
In concert live on Easter Island
Date: December 21, 2012

You’ve been chosen to replace Steve Jobs. What’s the next iProduct that comes out?

ipirate radio. A little electronic device that hacks radio waves and speaker systems. For example, your sitting in starbucks sipping on some chai tea trying to relax but in the background some shit Barbra Striesand music is playing on speakers ruining your moment. So you turn on your ipirate radio and load your favorite podcast and it takes over the airwaves and soon you will be grooving to some quality tunes from the gravediggers local 16 podcast 6′+!

What song do you pick when you find yourself in a retelling of ‘The Devil Went Down to Georgia’ where Ol’Scratch has challenged you to a Karaoke duel?

Bauhaus – Bella Lugouis dead, only song I really enjoy to sing.

Tuesday uEtsy

Janine Basil
http://www.etsy.com/shop/janinebasil

Comic pew pew embroidered headband yellow and red

One of Gulko’s daughters recent visited a cousin out west and attended a Roller Derby. The cousin, whose name is Nah Trasha when she’s on the track, left an impression on the young Gulko girl. We hear that Gulko’s being pressured to build a flat racing track in the back. If we get a local WFTDA affiliate here, we suppose that Gulko’s youngest will be the first to apply.

“She wants to be called ‘Belle Morte,’” Gulko said. “She’s not even Italian! We’re Polish!

Belle, as we’ll call here, was last seen talking to Poinsettia about starting up a team.

“You don’t even have to change your name – That’s so cool!”

We’ll keep you informed if we here at the Local end up sponsoring their team. Maybe we’ll ask you for suggestions for team names – the Quiet Side Riot, maybe?

If we do end up sponsoring Belle’s endeavors, we might request that ever member of her team use Janine Basil’s products. If you are or aren’t a roller girl, you might find that this week’s Tuesday uEtsy spotlights products that will both be fashionable and useful.

Sugar skull headband Dia de los muertos, in green with red rhinestones

These headbands and hair fasteners allow for any person to hold back their hair in ways that look incredible. When we showed Bella this headband, she said “That would be perfect for this one girl I know – she can be Mia de Los Muertos!”

We commend Belle for her focus. Even if your name isn’t Mia, you can still don this for the upcoming holiday and be festive.

Green zombie brains headband accessory

Janine Basil’s products are also appropriate for this month’s Zombie Awareness campaign. Show your support across your brow by showing that deep inside your skull lies the green brain of a zombie, even if your body hasn’t taken that distinguishing hue just yet.

Creepy exposed brains headband

Or you could be a bit teasing with this normal colored brain. “Yes, I am made up of something that you, zombie, would find delicious. Nyah-Nyah.” Or it could be a show of solidarity that underneath all the glamor, we’re just food for someone else. Your choice.

We asked Bella if she had any idea if some of her potential teammates would wear that. She came up with the names “Rigor Morticia,” “Irene Gangrene” and “The Working Stiff” but doesn’t have anyone to fill out the roster just yet. Perhaps we should take applications for her?

Zombie embroidered headband, red and white

Of course, you can show support for zombies without advertising yourself as food with this embroidered headband.  We considered getting this for ourselves. Belle just laughed at us. Girls can be so cruel sometimes.

Tattoo inspired headband Flaming Dice

There are plenty of designs and fashions available at Janine Basil’s store. We’ve showcased only fasteners and headbands, but she has a selection of hats and other hairpieces of many flavors. The above flaming dice design is an example of such. Belle liked it and might get it for herself, if only she can get her father’s permission first.

You don’t have to get anyone’s permission – you can head on over to Janine’s store and buy whatever you want. And come back here next week to see what she showcase next on Tuesday uEtsy.

 


 

Scott Kenemore
Zombie, Ohio: A Tale of the Undead

(Check out Scott Kenemore’s Zombie Blog)

Zombie, Ohio starts off slow but like the titular creature, picks up momentum as the story progresses on to make a very enjoyable read.

Scott Kenemore has crafted the pacing of  Zombie, Ohio to follow, step-by-step, the progression/degeneration of the main character, Peter Mellor. After awakening from a car crash with a case of amnesia, Peter finds himself in a nightmare world with “walking cadavers.” What’s even more horrific, thanks to help from his best friend Sam, Peter finds out the type of man he used to be: a professor at Kenton College in Gant, Ohio who slept around, drank and cared not for anyone else.

“I, Peter Mellor, was a disappointment.”

Things don’t get much better after Peter discovers half of his skull is missing. There are very few situations where that would be an improvement, right?

In creating Peter Mellor, Kenemore made a believable character in an unbelievable situation. Zombie, Ohio turns to be a case study of Mellor, told from his perspective. As a Philosophy professor, Mellor is greatly suited to be the narrator of his tale. Beleivably, he doesn’t immediately develop a gung-ho attitude or becomes an instant zombie-survivalist. He fails, has odd successes that come at a price and contemplates the morality of his situation more than following a predetermined set of zombie-survival rules (that everyone and their sister has, nowadays.)

The origin of the zombies is never fully explained but it never becomes necessary for Kenemore to do so. It could be magic, bioterrorism or divine intervention, all hinted throughout the book. But the explanation of why the dead have risen would be only a novelty and thankfully, Kenemore doesn’t spend too much time on that route.

Instead, through the first-person perspective, Kenemore explains how zombies function. It’s interesting to have a firsthand account as to why a zombie is, or should be, a slow moving threat. Some things we as a living organism don’t take notice of become apparent in Mellor’s development. It’s these small details that add an extra bit of charm to the book. The small details are one of Kenemore’s strengths; as he populates the novel’s landscape with small bits of madness that really work well in establishing the atmosphere of despair.

Mellor retains the majority of his mental facilities after he zombifies, which is also never clearly explained but a exchange between him and Sam theorizes his ability to an odd mutation.  Kenemore’s use of language made it easy and the character of Peter Mellor was one I found enjoyable so when it came to the half-explained rationale how he can still function with a literal flat-top, I had no trouble going with it.

As one might suspect, bring a thinking-zombie made Mellor a one-eyed king in the land of the blind and hungry. He uses this to his advantage in clever ways, showcasing Scott Kenemore’s dark sense of humor. Humor doesn’t take the forefront in Zombie, Ohio but there are some moments where I found myself smiling along.

The location (the Ohio in Zombie, Ohio) is important. The wide landscape of a rural area allows for a desolate and lonely setting. In an urban location, where corners are tight and shadows are long, it’s easier to amplify the threat of a zombie horde. It’s a bleak situation, what can be easily attained if ever the reader has spent some time in an isolated, rural area. Kenemore’s setting is perfect in expressing the utter despair of the situation and I commend him for capturing it.

Also, by choosing a wide-open space to set the novel, Kenemore draws comparison between a zombie and any other herding animal. By stripping away a bit of the horror that makes a zombie a real monster, Kenemore presents the zombie as something more natural, if it can be thought of that way.

The story is divided among three parts: Peter Mellor first attempts to conceal his zombie nature; after an incident makes him reject humanity, he wholeheartedly accepts who he is; and in the last act, he must make the decision of who he’s going to be, either man or zombie. Along the way, the mysterious nature of his death is brought up and solved.

It’s a good read. It does have a slow start and there are some details in the novel that I personally wouldn’t have done. These things are personal aesthetics. Though the mystery of Peter Mellor’s death is a lure, it’s not as prominent motivator for the story. Some might fault a few off-notes but I wasn’t frustrated. In a display of his skills as an author, Scott Kenemore demonstrated a great mind of a storyteller.

In the end, Zombie, Ohio is definitely a good read. As a debut novel, it shows that Scott Kenemore has a great supply of wit, creative ideas and potential. I look forward to his future works. For those who want an interesting character study or those looking for a nice way to get into zombie literature with a neat character, I would definitely seek this book out.

To quote the description given at our fourth episode’s official listing:

“‘The V word. Vampires. Once the inspiration for a thousand Halloween costumes, now they’re the inspiration for a million bad YA novels. But there are those who remember that vampires can be scary. For this episode of 6′+, we salute you, nosferatu.”

Just in case you missed the interview with 6′+ creative influence Lima Whiskey, here’s some big news: 6′+ is officially now on iTunes!

So be sure to have a listen, in addition to bookmarking 6ftplus.com. After all, you don’t want to miss a single episode, do you? Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and at Twitter, either!

Bad Behavior has blocked 1446 access attempts in the last 7 days.